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Would you move to a different state for your ex for a second chance?


Hopelesslyforgotten

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Hopelesslyforgotten

Hey everyone,

I just need some advice...the whole reason my ex and i broke up is because of long distance and our issue of neither of us being 'happy' living in eachother's home state.

 

We originally met where I am from, but because of financial difficulties he had to move back home where he had a job...he promised me he would move back...but then only a couple weeks we fought a lot b/c we did not have a definite date of when he was going to return...and then 2 weeks ago, we fought about it and it lead to our breakup (he stating that he wouldn't be happy where I live and vice versa).

 

The only reason we decided to continue the relationship w/ long distance is b/c he promised that he would move back...but then I just had a feeling that w/ him being back with his parents and friends there was no way I could compete and he wouldn't want to come back....which I don't know if it was because of all the fighting that he just gave up or he originally had the feeling he didn't want to move back but didn't want to loose me.

 

So, the issue here is....I am thinking about relocating to him (if we decide to work this out)....i know I am thinking probably way too into the future, but our only reason for breaking up is because of the moving issue/ long distance.

 

So would you relocate for your love? I have a lot to give up here...friends family, great job... but if that means we are together then I am willing to do it.

 

sigh.

 

thanks for reading and any insight!!!

Edited by Hopelesslyforgotten
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From my personal experience I'd be weary. Be sure your both on the same page before you move to be with him or it will be all in vain and do you more self damage emotionally.

 

For my tale, we both lived together but I worked a few hours away so would leave early and come home late so really only saw her on the weekends (I was very career motivated). Long story short we broke up. Now I loved my job and it was a good job but I loved her more and convinced work (after petitioning for it for over a year prior to the break up) to allow me to work from home or I'd leave, they agreed but I had to take a different role.

 

Unfortunately this was all too little too late, and we haven't spoken since, even though I now work from home and have more time than I know what to do with it.

 

So from that ask yourself if you want to put him above all else, I know that sounds a bit cold, but make sure he's willing for you to make the move to him first before you decide to pack up tent and recamp.

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AlwaysConflicted

What if location wasn't the only reason for your fighting?

 

Leaving your life behind to move to a new state sounds awfully risky. Are you prepared to take this chance and lose everything?

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i've done that, didnt work out then i had to drive back 20hrs so im going to say no, theres to many "what if's" alot of things can go wrong, and then your left all alone in a new state.

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Hopelesslyforgotten

Thank you everyone for your responses!! I truly appreciate your thoughts!!

 

I'm not making a decision right now, you all are right...i need to be very weary of this situation before I decide....plus I know I am thinking probably wayyyy too ahead of myself right now..

 

But this is making me think that he might be feeling the same way (afraid of loosing everything) of moving here and that's the reason why he suddenly went from yes he's moving here...to idk if i'd be happy living down there.

 

Sigh. I just wish people kept to their words :( and he would still be moving here as he planned originally :(

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Billie The Puppet

Honestly this has come up with my ex and I, she wanted out of our city so bad and I had an opportunity to bring her to another city and I failed cause I'm stuck on living here. Now that she actually left me I wish I had gone but I also feel like because the way she is we would have moved settled in then she would have wanted to move back because of friends and family.

 

I can read her that way but I'll never know as I never made the move (Cities are in different provinces and about 4 hours away by flight)

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