nyc25 Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 My ex and i broke up few months ago because she was seeing someone behind my back. We dated for 3 years. We haven't talked for a long time and recently i met her at a event and we hit it off and started talking again. Things quickly lead to one thing and another and we ended up in bed. Now after all these mix signals im getting i had to have the talk with her to see what was going on. She told me that she really likes me still but doesn't want to commit. Shes 24 and so am i and she says that shes young and she doesn't want to get married yet and that she wants to explore more before she finds out whos the right one for her. Of course i feel differently about this as i still have some feelings for her. Yesterday i found out that the guy was still texting her and she was still calling him so i told her to not talk to me again ever until she stops seeing this married guy. She told me that we needed to get to know each other better and talk more and that this is moving too fast after a breakup before anything can happen. i believe that this guy is probably the sole reason why she can't commit to me yet she tells me that she isn't seeing no one and has no prospects so i should not be worried. She said that she doesn't want to lose me because i could ultimately be "the one" for her. I honestly think she has some feelings for me but just not the same anymore. Is there anything else differently that i should've done? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Is there anything else differently that i should've done? Thanks Yes, keep your d*ck in your pants. Why give her a free ego boost? Link to post Share on other sites
selena_cat Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 No no and definately NO! thats what you should tell her,you want to stick around while she sows her wild oats or meet someone that she prefer's then you'll lose her for good. There are young girls your age who are marriage minded and would love to meet a guy like you,try to meet them and dont settle for one who keeps you in the bacfkburner. I like you screen name,are you from NY? Hope you heed my advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyc25 Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 Hi Selena yes i am from ny thanks for your advice. I know what i have to do although it seems like she doesn't want to give me up. Link to post Share on other sites
selena_cat Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 (edited) Niice..A fellow NY-ker.well before you do anything take a nice long walk around central park ( buy those yummy Pretzels first!) or better yet walk down down Fifth Avenue, (ok thats my favorite shopping area,window shopping i mean) and think long and hard before you do anything,just think of you first,you want a committed girl who wouldnt want anyone else but you from the start, they're out there,remember that. Edited October 24, 2009 by selena_cat Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Hi Selena yes i am from ny thanks for your advice. I know what i have to do although it seems like she doesn't want to give me up. She IS giving you up, she is just hanging you on a string for her own ego. If she says she wants to see if theres more out there, then that means she is never coming back to you. So dont wait for her. She is lying to keep control over you because you let her. You can use her for sex, but keep the upper hand and show her you dont WANT her. Make sure you get a new GF and throw her in your ex's face. By the time you get a new girl you wont want to be bothered with your ex anymore. Ill say it again, she will NEVER want to get back with you. Women generally dont move backwards. Link to post Share on other sites
001bh Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Let me guess, was she an only child? Does she typically always get what she wants? Sounds to me like she's got you by the balls. Cut her off. Move on. From your description of her wanting to be young and explore but still keep you will probably mean that she'll never grow out of it and will always be looking for new fixes later in life. I know people who are twice our age (I'm only 22...) who behave just like her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyc25 Posted October 25, 2009 Author Share Posted October 25, 2009 (edited) Let me guess, was she an only child? Does she typically always get what she wants? Sounds to me like she's got you by the balls. Cut her off. Move on. From your description of her wanting to be young and explore but still keep you will probably mean that she'll never grow out of it and will always be looking for new fixes later in life. I know people who are twice our age (I'm only 22...) who behave just like her. She has a little sister and actually the opposite she was more like a rebel. She and her dad had issues growing up and i guess he never gave her enough love so shes been brought up almost like a boy and still has resentment towards him. The times that i have been hanging out with her it almost feels natural like were dating again except without the title although i do have my defenses up and and i watch her actions all the time. I'm definitely keeping my other options open. i have been setting the pace recently doing whatever i want and my times with her. I think its psychological for her thinking that shes trapped if she stays with me. Edited October 25, 2009 by nyc25 Link to post Share on other sites
selena_cat Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Keeping your options open sounds better,you shouldnt have to watch your back against someone and should be able to trust them,IF they are trustworthy,you deserve better New York. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 You need to break off all contact with this women. You are totally wrong for each other, want totally different things, and you'll only become more and more miserable the longer you hang on to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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