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I need serious advice!!!


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ok here is my story:

I've been going out with this girl for 1 year, we both were seriously in love and everything was perfect. On the side we had little quarrels like most love relationships do, but anyways. I go on vacation for spring break and i would call her to say hi. Well everything was going great till she started hanging out with this one guy all the time. Well when i got home she broke up with me. Being the trusting guy I was, I believed her excuse about her not wanting to get too serious and be in a committed relationship through highschool. Well the next day I find out she is seeing this guy she was spending the whole spring break with. Then I find out she was kissing him when I was gone but that was it. This guy turned out to be my friend. And now I have beef with him and I want my girl back who I am still deeply in love with. I don't know what to do? How can I get her back?

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You DON'T want this guy as a friend and you DON'T want a girl who is going to date a "friend" of yours while you are out of town!!! She's probably been seeing him behind your back for a good while.

 

Both of them are snakes. There is simply no way you can love a lady who would do something this nasty to you. You may have some lingering feelings from a month ago when you thought she had some ethics and principles but they aren't there now...so just forget about it.

 

This lady is totally free to see anybody she wants to at this point. She was VERY honest with you about not wanting to be in a committed relationship WITH YOU. When a female says she doesn't want to be in a committed relationship, the words she is leaving out are "WITH YOU." When she meets somebody she wants to be with all the time, that's when she drops those words.

 

I know it hurts but it's actually quite great. You can now get over her and find a nice lady who is really into you. This has happened to me lots of times. Some of those times it seemed to be the end of the world. But I have learned from experience not to fret and NOT to try to regain the relationship....which actually never really existed.

 

If you care anything about her at all, leave her alone and let her be free to pursue whatever she wishes and learn the lessons she must. You have now learned an important lesson yourself. LISTEN to the girl you're with. After you've known her a while and she says she doesn't want to get serious, that means she either hasn't known you long enough to know if she wants to get serious with you...or she is NOT into you enough to do that. And that's OK. Not everygirl is going to fall for any particular man...and thank God for that.

 

Take some time to heal from this. Don't obsess over her behavior and let it ruin your world. It may not be the last time this will happen to you. The last time will be the time you actually learn to pay attention to what women say.

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We just broke up so is there chance she might find deep inside her what she lost and come back to me, and if she does what should I do? Because I love her, but I think what if she cheats on me again...

 

I understand what you are saying Tony but my heart is telling me to keep trying. I mean I feel like we are meant to be, and I have a feeling she will find deep in her heart she still loves me because of how her friends say she felt about me. She was deeply in love with me, and I think the fact that I was gone was too overwhelming and she didn't mean to cheat on me. But I dunno... More advice please!

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YOU ASK: "We just broke up so is there chance she might find deep inside her what she lost and come back to me, and if she does what should I do?"

 

You say..."POOP ON YOU, LADY!!!" Don't you dare let her back in your life. People stray because they aren't happy. If she comes back to you, it'll only be because the other guy dumps her or she wants to use you again as a life raft until somebody else comes along. You don't need that.

 

You cannot allow people in your life who would dump your butt while you're on spring break and take up with your friend...spending more time with him than she does with you.

 

Why do you want to go back and let her jerk you around more? Why would you want to give her an opportunity to cheat on you in the future? Why would you want to pursue someone who clearly doesn't have her complete heart in you? Don't let your ego take over here. It's OK if she like somebody else. Take my word for it, there are thousands of ladys who will be a LOT better for you than this one.

 

Read my earlier post again. She's told you she doesn't want to be in a committed relationship. She told you that because she doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with YOU. That's fine. You need to find a lady who is into YOU and who will care for YOU. If you have a thing for women who don't particularly care for you, you may need counselling to get over this. A lot of people are like that and it usually stems from childhood abandonment and fear of intimacy issues.

 

Just forget her butt. She's a snake you don't need around you.

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If I feel this way about her still and she wants me to take her back, how to I stop myself?

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How do you stop yourself??? If you want a woman in your life who will cheat on you with a friend while you're on spring break, then go ahead and have her back. And if you do that, you deserve every screwing you get from her. She will take your heart, pulverize it, stomp it, mash it, run over it with a steamroller, shred it, and then roll it out on the street so the cars can finish it off.

 

Whatever you want to do with your life is fine. But I seldom hear of people who are such gluttons for heartache.

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Hmm... I guess your right, I never really wanted to look at it that way but if thats whats gonna happen, I don't want it. She seemed like such an innocent girl to me. But I guess I really shouldn't trust anyone too much. But thank you very much!

 

So, Should I still be friends with this girl, or just move on and act like she never walked into my life?

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lol I just wanna post something funny about this situation, this guy she cheated on me with is going to join the National Guard. And he is joining my unit and company. I am going to be his NCO when he gets in and possibly platoon SGT. I am currently 1st Squad Leader... lol, he is in for a world of "heck" But I might be going to airborne school and ROTC so who knows. LOL i just think this is funny.

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ahhh, the best revenge is to just kill someone with kindness. Very effective, esp. if they're expecting fireworks. The question is, she knows what unit you're in and you know what unit you're in, but does her love interest know? If he does, his punishment is all the scenarios he's going to come up with in his little brain.

 

LOL, this makes me think of the Texas Tornados song, where Doug Sahm sings "she belongs to el diablo, he can have her, I don't want her anymore " ...

 

:D:D:D

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LOL, this makes me think of the Texas Tornados song, where Doug Sahm sings "she belongs to el diablo, he can have her, I don't want her anymore " ...

 

 

LOL I faintly understand! but whatever... hehe :D

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YOU ASK: "Should I still be friends with this girl, or just move on and act like she never walked into my life?"

 

If you like having friends who have no problem with cheating with your friends behind your back and lying to you throughout a relationship, yeah...sure....knock yourself out.

 

So you have a girlfriend who cheats on you and a buddy who your girlfriend cheats with.

 

Here's a link to dozens of web dictionaries---->http://www.onelook.com/?loc=pub&w=friend Look up the word "friend" in any one of the them...take some time to study and ponder what a friend is...and then see if you can go find some real ones.

 

Why do you want to waste your time hanging around people who ARE NOT your friends???

 

I hope the military has done a better job of teaching you who the enemy IS and IS NOT!!!

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[color=indigo]

Love is simple. Love knows no betrayal or deception. Infactuation can also disguise itself as love. The true test is when you see someone for who they are, good and bad, and you still want to be with them. You may truly be in love with your girlfriend, but she isn't truly in love with you. She wouldn't have treated you the way she did if she did love you.

[/color]

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1 Corinthians 13:4-8 sums it up nicely:

 

[color=darkred] Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoings, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all thing. Love never fails … [/color]

 

Or, if the Bible doesn't describe it well enough, I think the Bard does:

 

[color=indigo]Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments, love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no, it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wand'ring bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come,

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom:

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.[/color]

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