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tricks of getting them back??


just_a_girl

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Is there a trick of the trade?

 

I find it funny how various people on this message board have mentioned how they have gotten back with ex's after various problems they have had with them.

 

I think its great that you can forgive them, but what makes me curious is how you got them back in the first place?

 

:-S

 

 

I for one am a fairly attractive girl (not the best looking tho), but when i dress up i can turn some heads ... however i can never get the ones i want and recently when i did he left me to persue another relationship.

 

Is there some kind of trick to the trade?

 

Do u show that your a fabulous person after getting angry at them? Do u show them how much you really don't care and then they come running back?

 

I know almost every situation is different, but if you can give me any tips, i'd love to hear them.

 

:-)

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People return to relationships because there is something special they miss about them that they can't seem to get elsewhere.

 

People remain in relationships because of the way the other person makes them feel. If you keep the other person feeling good about themselves and about the world, they will remain forever. If you put them down, argue with them, keep them on edge, keep them feeling insignificant or insecure, there's simply no way they'll hang around or return.

 

So if you've split up for some reason but during the relationship you made sure they felt special in every way, they'll surely be back. If you made the other person feel like crap in some way, unless they are certifiably crazy, you won't see them again.

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so the likelyhood of a person returning to a relationship that was only a few weeks longs is very very minimal?

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Originally posted by Tony

People remain in relationships because of the way the other person makes them feel. If you keep the other person feeling good about themselves and about the world, they will remain forever. If you put them down, argue with them, keep them on edge, keep them feeling insignificant or insecure, there's simply no way they'll hang around or return.

 

I know exactly what you mean... but at the same time i would easily go back out with one of my ex's dispite arguing and insecurity that was caused. Ofcourse it would have to be after talking about our differences and issues to avoid them happening again.

 

But not everyone thinks the same, i dont know if he would EVER try again. He may think differently to that.

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Emotionally healthy people talk about their differences and work out problems out rather than breakup. They also know when problems are cannot be resolved or when there is insufficient attraction, love or commonalities to ensure a long lasting relationship and the split by mutual agreement.

 

It is absolutely possible for two people to get back together a number of times after breaking up but if the underlying dynamics which caused the breakups remain, it is a sick relationship.

 

People lose sight of the fact that dating is for the purpose of finding the right person for our lives. It is absolutely nuts to keep going back to the wrong person if one or both don't have the skills of communication, compromise and conflict resolution.

 

Individuals who come from dysfunctional families where there was a lot of instability, arguing, xhaos, etc. are the most likely to engage in these types of relationships and by some miracle they often find each other.

 

If going back and forth floats their boat, they have my blessings. But that's not the way I want to live.

 

You have to use your own good sense to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run (as the song goes: Kenny Rogers, "The Gambler.")

 

I'm now going back to bed.

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when it comes to men, generally speaking, they like to be the one who makes the decision. so, when i have made the decision, they want to return.

 

do they want to return because i'm so special? highly unlikely. it just wasn't their decision, so the caveman comes out in them and wants to take it back. and then, probably down the road, they would have dumped me anyway. so i saved myself the grief by getting back together with them.

 

one man told me, "just make it miserating to be with you and they'll dump you, and then you'll never have to deal with them returning again." but, that's playing games and drawing out a bad situation. i'd rather just break up. i don't break up just to get them to realize that they treated me like dirt. when i break up, i break up.

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