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my ex is back talking to me but im not ready to get hurt again


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Old 25th February 2009, 7:58 PM   #1
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my ex is back talking to me but im not ready to get hurt again

my ex who dumped me got back in touch asking me to visit ect. and now were back talking she even asked why i didnt get her a valentines card (i had promised to send her one even after we broke up as she never got one). i had one at home and said id send her one.

she rang me that night we had a good chat and you could tell there was some strong connection between us. we were joking and saying that we were each with with someone before Christmas but no one serious. i dont know why but this hurts a bit, she said she would like to sleep with me again i didnt anwser she even tried to ask whether i still love her i blanked that aswell.

were back talking every day and shes going to ring again the weekend having received her card, really she broke my heart we broke up due to distance and it kills me that i dont live nearer. i want to give it another try but im afraid ill be hurt.
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Old 26th February 2009, 11:41 AM   #2
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Why on Earth are you sending her a Valentine's Day card? She is not your girlfriend.

She was obviously lonely because she probably didn't have a guy on V-Day, so she went to her backup plan: you. And you showed her you've been waiting around for her to call.

Saying she wants to sleep with you again is her using sex to get some emotional satisfaction from you. You're shoveling it to her, too. Now, you can go and have sex again if you are prepared for it being NSA and nothing more (since that's what it will likely be). If you're still hurting and wanting her back, you're in for a world of heartbreak. Keep in mind now that she knows she has you on her little string, she may pull sex card away and then you will REALLY feel like a chump.

Move on and stop chatting with your ex.
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Old 26th February 2009, 1:09 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by samspade View Post
Why on Earth are you sending her a Valentine's Day card? She is not your girlfriend.

She was obviously lonely because she probably didn't have a guy on V-Day, so she went to her backup plan: you. And you showed her you've been waiting around for her to call.

Saying she wants to sleep with you again is her using sex to get some emotional satisfaction from you. You're shoveling it to her, too. Now, you can go and have sex again if you are prepared for it being NSA and nothing more (since that's what it will likely be). If you're still hurting and wanting her back, you're in for a world of heartbreak. Keep in mind now that she knows she has you on her little string, she may pull sex card away and then you will REALLY feel like a chump.

Move on and stop chatting with your ex.
I totally agree.
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Old 26th February 2009, 1:12 PM   #4
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I totally agree.
ditto headin for more heartache
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Old 26th February 2009, 1:26 PM   #5
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i agree guys i dont want to get back together though after a few months ive managed to get over her emotionally but this one is different as i said before i blanked her when she mentioned sex and will keep doing it! i dont want sex with her or to get back together with her as if you look at my previous posts shes quite imature in her way of doing things (games ect).

having said that she was abused by her father as was i so we share a simular past so i do want to be friends with her as she is still suffering from it! listen she never got a v days card so thats why i got her one, i dont see the harm in it.

i care about htis girl in more of a soulmate kind of way as i put on the card i dont care if i see you ever again just so i know your ok babes. i dont want to go out with her or have sex with her but at the same time even talking to her sometimes feelings come back trust me after my past im strong mentally i put the qeustion wrong earlier but i want to know should i keep talking to her or is it too soon? its been 4 months since we split.
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Old 26th February 2009, 6:12 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by le_caz View Post
i agree guys i dont want to get back together though after a few months ive managed to get over her emotionally but this one is different as i said before i blanked her when she mentioned sex and will keep doing it! i dont want sex with her or to get back together with her as if you look at my previous posts shes quite imature in her way of doing things (games ect).
If you dont want to get back together, and shes immature, why are you even talking to her? Seems like a waste of energy, no?

Quote:
having said that she was abused by her father as was i so we share a simular past so i do want to be friends with her as she is still suffering from it! listen she never got a v days card so thats why i got her one, i dont see the harm in it.
Let me tell you something man, we've ALL been through our own versions of hell. We've all had family problems, issues with your parents, etc. While I understand that it makes you feel for her, its not your problem anymore. Same with the valentine card. So, she can dump you and make you feel like crap, and then guilt trip you into feeling obligated to get her a VALENTINES day card, and listen to her sob story? The fact that she even wanted a v-day card from a guy she just dumped is pretty terrible, truth be told. She's not your problem anymore, by her own decision.

Quote:
i care about htis girl in more of a soulmate kind of way as i put on the card i dont care if i see you ever again just so i know your ok babes. i dont want to go out with her or have sex with her but at the same time even talking to her sometimes feelings come back trust me after my past im strong mentally i put the qeustion wrong earlier but i want to know should i keep talking to her or is it too soon? its been 4 months since we split.
Here is what I think/know:

Youre only talking to her and trying to be her 'friend' because thats all you have right now, and you keep wondering if shes going to change her mind.

What is really happening is that shes decided your relationship is a no go, but she doesnt want to be completely alone until she has your replacement, so shes stringing you along to keep you on the hook, and boy are you falling for it.

There is no point in talking to her anymore. Unless she calls to say she made a huge mistake, which will NEVER happen, everything else is BS she can save for someone else. Dont let yourself be someones fallback.
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