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Please some advice ASAP.


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We went with GF for 3 years. She broke up with me about 3 months ago. We have kept in casual friendly contact. She came over to pick up some things the other day & we kissed. Would phoning her with this message be advisable or let it go? She has a very passive personality & takes things as they come so any possibility of getting her back would have to be forcefully initiated by myself. Would you recommend phoning her and saying...

 

"I've been seeing someone for the past month and we are planning on going away together for a few days tomorrow (true). After we kissed last week I felt guilty & confused for betraying her. I also felt there was something left between us worth pursuing. I don't want to hurt this girl I've been seeing. I really don't know what my feelings for you are anymore but I want to know how you feel about what happened."

 

Thank you for any input.

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Contradiction:

 

Passive personality eh? Didn't she break up with you?

We went with GF for 3 years. She broke up with me about 3 months ago. We have kept in casual friendly contact. She came over to pick up some things the other day & we kissed. Would phoning her with this message be advisable or let it go? She has a very passive personality & takes things as they come so any possibility of getting her back would have to be forcefully initiated by myself. Would you recommend phoning her and saying... "I've been seeing someone for the past month and we are planning on going away together for a few days tomorrow (true). After we kissed last week I felt guilty & confused for betraying her. I also felt there was something left between us worth pursuing. I don't want to hurt this girl I've been seeing. I really don't know what my feelings for you are anymore but I want to know how you feel about what happened." Thank you for any input.
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It was a passive break-up. I basically ended it because she didn't seem to care about the relationship. By asking her what I posted above I would be forcing her to think about and act on a decision she would have to make about our relationship.

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So why do you wanna be with someone who doesn't care if u'r with her or not?

It was a passive break-up. I basically ended it because she didn't seem to care about the relationship. By asking her what I posted above I would be forcing her to think about and act on a decision she would have to make about our relationship.
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So why do you wanna be with someone who doesn't care if u'r with her or not?

She doesn't care about much right now except keeping her job & paying the rent. I want her to seriously think about our relationship, try to figure out how she feels about it before I commit to this other girl.

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then go ahead and talk to her!

She doesn't care about much right now except keeping her job & paying the rent. I want her to seriously think about our relationship, try to figure out how she feels about it before I commit to this other girl.
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Baltimore3208

I think it is great that you would tell her how you feel and there is still something there. BUT....It is a bad idea to mention the other lady for ANY reason. I have always found that it backfires! Keep the other lady out

 

of the conversation and focus on your relationship with the one you are talking to....

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I agree you shouldnt bring up the other women. Talking about the feelings that she has for your should be the topic of the converstation. Ask her questions and listen to what she has to say. If she seems negative about your r/s than there really isnt much room left to persue her anymore.

 

Although why did she leave. Three years is a long time. Maybe she just thinks about herself. Is she selfish?

 

I would go out with the lady you are seeing, and contact your ex after then. In the mean time have fun with this person you are seeing. When you get back in town, you can feel refreshed and have those days to reflect and decide on how you want to approach your ex, if you still feel that way then.

We went with GF for 3 years. She broke up with me about 3 months ago. We have kept in casual friendly contact. She came over to pick up some things the other day & we kissed. Would phoning her with this message be advisable or let it go? She has a very passive personality & takes things as they come so any possibility of getting her back would have to be forcefully initiated by myself. Would you recommend phoning her and saying... "I've been seeing someone for the past month and we are planning on going away together for a few days tomorrow (true). After we kissed last week I felt guilty & confused for betraying her. I also felt there was something left between us worth pursuing. I don't want to hurt this girl I've been seeing. I really don't know what my feelings for you are anymore but I want to know how you feel about what happened." Thank you for any input.
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