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exbf hooked up w/HIS ex, then decided he wants me back


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I'm confused. I broke up w/my ex because he was doing coke. Last Friday, he texted me (after a period of no contact) about how much he missed our relationship, how he was sorry he walked away from me, how he doesn't have anyone like me to talk to, how he's jealous thinking about me with other guys...anyway, we texted back and forth for a while before I had to go to sleep.

 

Over the weekend, I was confused...texted him but he didn't reply. I found out on Sunday night that he had spent the rest of the weekend with his ex-ex-gf. There's a history there...he hooked up with her before he and I started seeing each other. I feel like he hooks up with her everytime he's single. They were friends while he and I were together. I didn't like it, esp after she sent him a sexy photo when I was with him. He told me about it-I got mad, and he said he told her to stop doing that. He said after their talk, he hadn't even spoken to her.

 

I guess, after I broke up with him, he saw her online and they chatted. Then they started hanging out. But Sat night was the only time they hooked up, he said. He said being with her just made him appreciate me more, because he doesn't feel for her like he does for me. He wants to get back together with me. He says he won't do coke anymore and won't talk to the ex-ex anymore.

 

I'm willing to give it another shot, but I'm cautious. I want to go slowly.

 

I'm still kind of hurt over the ex, even though he WAS single at the time. When we were together he disparaged her quite a bit and I wonder if he did it to cover up his attraction for her. I want to make sure this doesn't happen again.

 

Is it common for guys to hook up with exgfs like this? Why would any self-respecting girl just sit around and wait for her exbf to be single like that?

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0hpenelope

What is this - tennis?! Volleyball? Back and forth, back and forth..

 

He's having samplers before ultimately deciding on you?

 

It's not just you who's hurt... I'm sympathizing with the ex-gf that he "sampled" only to realize that he's like, totally in love with you after all!

 

Why would any self-respecting girl just sit around and wait for her exbf to be single like that?

 

I'm not sure if she's waiting around, but to me... if she's giving him all access to the bed, then she still has feelings for him. I generally doubt a couple who say "We're just each other's hook ups." Nope, sorry. Someone in this equation has something more to say or feel - whether they admit to it or keep up the façade of lies is their business. He's hurt both you and her. That's wrong on all sorts of levels

 

He says he knows what he wants now, huh... He might be telling the truth. You are getting a second chance and not very many people can say the same for themselves. If you're willing and ready, take him back. It might be your regret if you don't.

 

Otherwise, if I can have my way in this situation - I'm all supportive of Leia's perspective on this: drop this chump like a bad habit! He needed samples of a familiar dish (his ex) in order to "realize" it's you he wants. I've heard better excuses.

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aubree1982

I agree, you need to dump this guy and move on with your life! It's seems that the negatives in this guy far out weigh the positives.

 

You have to do what you feel is right, and some ppl do change but if he just recently hooked up with his ex-ex then ditch him before he has a chance to do it again! It seems like he can't distance himself from this woman and you have to wonder what's he going to do if the two of you have a fight or take a break....he may continue to go back to her for a little something! So, is that something you're willing to deal with?

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