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how to get back the guy that's 'not ready for anything serious'!?


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following this looong post

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1372655

 

I ended up seeing my friend that I've liked for a year and a half for about three months.

we had a great month and everything felt right and natural. there was definatley a spark and chemistry he said that too. and i really felt it. we said that we really like each other.

but after a month he said he didn't want anything serious, and that the end of his last relationship was the hardest things he's ever been through. after that he seemed different and a bit cold. we kept seeing each other but it felt different and a bit weird. and he stopped making such an effort. because i like him so much, worrying if he was going to end things and the way he was acting made me a bit crazy and I ended up spending nights crying just because I hadn't had a text from him that day! the whole time I had a knot in my stomach and woke up feeling sick. i decided i couldn't go through it anymore i asked him if we could talk and he avoided it for ages but then came over the night before i had to go home for holidays from uni. we just sat and talked about crap and watched tv and he said 'so..do you want to talk?' and i just couldn't bring myself to do it :( so we left for easter and he said 'we'll go for something to eat when we go back, yeah? and to the seaside..'

 

but then after a week of not hearing from him, i just text him and said 'maybe we should just be friends again' and he said 'that's probably the best thing.because we want different things' and we ended it.

 

but I just know there's something there for some reason, i've never felt like this about anyone. i don't feel ready to give it up on it yet :( my plan is to go to the next night out at uni when we go back, looking completley stunning to make him realise. it's going to be so hard to not be with him when i really want him so badly, but more than just casual :(

 

i want a relationship with him, do you think it'll ever happen?

i'm so gutted this hasn't worked out :( maybe i wanted it too much for it to ever work?

 

xx.

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Well, firstly- you can be not ready to give up and want it to work until you're blue in the face..the tricky thing about relationships is they involve two people and 100 percent of one person's dedication will never supplant even 1 percent of the other partner who isn't interesting/willing/looking too make something work out.

 

If he isn't wanting to be serious than you need to be mature enough to accept things as they are and move on. Moving on from a bad or dead relationship is actually an acquired skill. The more you mature the less time you invest in daydreams and woulda/shoulda/coulda's because you realise how futile sticking around and waiting for someone to become who and what they are not is completely pointless.

 

 

Take this for what it was and get on with your life, I know it hurts right now but it isn't the end of the world and someday you'll be in a new relationship and this will all only be a fond memory and even the pain you feel now won't be memorable. It's just a part of life.

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