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! how to get her back


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im hurting. i went out with a girl for 6 months, and we fell in love. i found out everything about her, and found out shes really mentally ill. she has some problems. and i tried to make her feel better. but she though this as being too needy, but i was meerly just treid to make her feel like she was worth something. she told me i was the love of her life. and then she said she needed some space. but i took it the wrong way, so i broke up with her. but i was wrong and knew i messed up, so we sorta talked it over, and then she told me i was too emotionally unstable for her. which just killed me. every minute we had spent togheter was amazing. the love was just filled with passion. and i miss her. weve been broken up for 1 1/2 months now, and i found out that she still loves me, i still love her. but we already treid to give it a second chane, and i messed up...yet again. i just cant stand this feeling. i dont want her back right now, becase i know things will just be akward, but im willing to become her freind, and hang out with her for a while. i jsut care so much about her, and want to be there for her.

 

wut do i do?

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don't lose hope if the love is there that is the most important part. what do you love about this girl? have you been upfront about your feelings? why does she think you are emotionally unstable?

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  • 2 weeks later...

time for me to come clean...so your story sounds very familiar. actually the reason i found this post is because i turned to the internet for advice after establishing nc with someone i care for deeply. he broke up with me after i was diagnosed as being bipolar. i didn't see it coming and he didn't see it coming, but i was honest with him about my diagnosis. after taking a few days to process things for myself i made a major decision regarding my treatment: i decided to start my meds as an inpatient.

 

i established nc because i realized despite his presence in my life i was still feeling a sense of loss. as much as i wanted to be there as a friend we couldn't have a meaningful relationship because the trust was no longer there. it no longer felt safe for me to feel and i had to start using my head over my heart.

 

the hardest part has been letting go of hope...i don't regret for a minute having given myself so freely, having opened up so quickly, and allowing myself to fall in love with him despite having been warned he wasn't emotionally available. you see i was raised to believe that relationships always take work and should never be based on necessity, or convenience. as a direct result, i have always valued being wanted over being needed and learned early on in life that it takes a hell of a lot more for someone to articulate what is they want.

 

after all, we all have needs...food, water, love, sex...i decided to let go of the hope when it became clear he was never in an emotionally healthy place for him to truly say those three words i so badly wanted to hear "i want you".

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