T-minus one hour till slugging it out with the ex

[loveratud]

She sent me a message saying she wants to talk and that she's free tonight.

 

This is the girl that went on a 3 week trip to visit her family in Mexico at Christmas, then came back and broke up with me without reason. Up until that point, it had basically been a whirlwind of no fights, romantic gestures, etc. I did not take the break up well.

 

Only now, and I mean in the last week, am I getting back to my pre-relationship self. Have 3 dates with 3 different girls this week, meeting lots of new people, etc.

 

I've set a few ground rules for myself for tonight:

1. Don't get angry

2. Don't be sarcastic\cruel

3. Don't spill my guts

 

I don't know what she thinks this is going to be about, but I plan on getting some answers to some questions that have been rattling about in my head for the last (nearly) 5 months. They're some tough questions, and she may not like them, but that's too bad.

 

I could have said no, or put it off, but I figured it's best to man up and take this head on.

 

I sincerely, sincerely hope that this isn't an attempt by her to hook up. She suggested a FWB relationship shortly after the break up, and the idea of devaluing our relationship like that really pissed me off. Still, the late hour of the meeting (9:30), the location (my patio), and the circumstances (she asked if I had drinks here) have me curious as to her intentions. Regardless of what they are, I know MY intentions, and I plan on getting some answers. Or slapped. Either way.

[silentcharon]

Do you intend on being friends with her?

[loveratud]

Do you intend on being friends with her?

 

Nope. We started off as friends, she tried to take things beyond that, I warned her that it's not a good idea to date your friends because if things don't work out, you lose your friend and your lover. She argued that the best relationships come from friendships (my warning sign should have been that obviously none of her relationships had lasted forever and that it's worth trying. So I went along, fell in love. Got my heart smashed.

 

She threw out the "I want to be friends" line extremely early after the breakup. I told her, "We will never be friends. Ever."

 

I'm a man of my word. When I say something, I stick to it. Just like after the breakup she told me to call if I wanted to talk, I told her "I'll never call you." I said it because I knew if I allowed myself to, I'd be a bother, and needy. And I've never called her since I said that.

 

The way I see it, her and I end in fire. It's either the fire of love, or the fire of hatred. There's no compromise on this for me.

[bubbalump]

hey man,

 

i remember way back when you were thinking about getting her chocolates after the break up and such ( that was u right?). You seem to be doing great, i hope you get the answers you've been wanting all this time.

 

" I know MY intentions, and I plan on getting some answers."

 

Can't wait to hear what happens. Good luck with all this.

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, please update us. I hope you get what you're looking for.

[delfina]

What's FWB? Sorry, I'm not familiar with that.

[delfina]

duh....it just dawned on me. Sorry! (FWB) I also think that is a load of s***. If they love you, why would they want to take things "casually" with you? Proceed with caution.

[loveratud]

I didn't get get emotional or angry. I also didn't get many answers. She basically said that she still doesn't know herself or trust herself. She's still trying to work things out with herself.

 

She cried, I didn't. She said we'd talk. We'll see.

[upsetnhurt]

We will see what lovertud?

[oppath]

I know how you feel having your relationship devalued by the ex asking to be friends with benefits after she dumped you. How long was it for you? Mine was 1.5 weeks in response to me telling her I couldn't be her friend unless I felt ZERO attraction towards her. FWB only works if there are no feelings and there are no strings attached. Obviously, if one person didn't want the breakup, or even if they did, feelings will be involved and strings will be attached. You can't go from having strings attached to having no strings attached.

 

I'd write this girl off. Tell her you need someone who knows what they want, and she should take a hike permanently.

[loveratud]

We will see what lovertud?

 

Oh, I left out the best part. In less than a month, she'll be moving into my building. My building has 8 units. I know the girl she's moving in with.

 

This has awkwardness of Ross and Rachel proportions written all over it.