rokkyr Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 After a silly disagreement, I broke off with my girlfriend in Jan 2006 due to a mid life crisis on my part. She was devastated and upset. We still loved each other but I needed some time space, I do not know why. We kept in touch with all the time me saying I just need time. Anyway to cut a long story short. In Jan 2007 I asked her to get back together and down came a solid brick wall. She said we could be friends but nothing more. We have dated a few times and we have got close but she is resentful and angry and keeps pushing me away saying we can be friends. that I should move on, she did. Is it over for me or how do I get her back? I keep screwing it up. I cannot see that if she loved me like she said how it could be so final without even working at it. Can anyone help??? Link to post Share on other sites
Sad Beans Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 It sounds like you have done to your g/f what my b/f did to me at christmas. He keeps saying he needs time......but if you wanna be with someone you would be....that how females see it! You have obviously hurt her.......there is a point where you are willing to take someone back....you may have passed that! A year is a long time for someone to get over you. If she only wants to be friends you will have to respect that...and if it is meant to be it will grow into something else. Be patient, but live your own life at the same time as she may never take you back! Link to post Share on other sites
littlebopeep Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 After a silly disagreement, I broke off with my girlfriend in Jan 2006 due to a mid life crisis on my part. She was devastated and upset. We still loved each other but I needed some time space, I do not know why. We kept in touch with all the time me saying I just need time. Anyway to cut a long story short. In Jan 2007 I asked her to get back together and down came a solid brick wall. She said we could be friends but nothing more. We have dated a few times and we have got close but she is resentful and angry and keeps pushing me away saying we can be friends. that I should move on, she did. Is it over for me or how do I get her back? I keep screwing it up. I cannot see that if she loved me like she said how it could be so final without even working at it. Can anyone help??? I just dont get it.If you still loved her then why did you break it off?8 months ago my ex did exactly the same thing and i was left heartbroken,we were together 4.5 years. During that time i hoped and prayed like many of us do that he would realise his mistake and want me back.At 1st i sat watching my phone and each message i got i hoped was him.I sat at my computer hoping for him to come on msn but if he did,all he said was that for the present time he thought he had made the right decision. After a while i realised that if he loved me the way he said he did then he would be with me and working on things.I could never trust him again and ive slowly began to rebuild my life and have started dating again. What made you wait a year to want her back?I have a funny feeling my ex thinks i wont move on but he will be in for a shock.We had everything and he threw it away because he had to go away for a year. You asked the question"if she loved me like she said she does,how can she not want to work things out"?The only answer i can give you on that is that shes probably lost trust in you and even if the love is still there how does she know you wont want space again. It might be best for you to move on because you might be waiting for something that wont ever happen.Good luck whatever you do. Link to post Share on other sites
2ndIINone Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 I keep screwing it up. why do you think or say you keep screwing it up? What are you doing? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 After a silly disagreement, I broke off with my girlfriend in Jan 2006 due to a mid life crisis on my part. She was devastated and upset. We still loved each other but I needed some time space, I do not know why. We kept in touch with all the time me saying I just need time. Anyway to cut a long story short. In Jan 2007 I asked her to get back together and down came a solid brick wall. She said we could be friends but nothing more. We have dated a few times and we have got close but she is resentful and angry and keeps pushing me away saying we can be friends. that I should move on, she did. Is it over for me or how do I get her back? I keep screwing it up. I cannot see that if she loved me like she said how it could be so final without even working at it. Can anyone help??? She's resentful and has to get over that. The best thing you can do is STOP TRYING. You can't force someone to love you or to come back. If she wants to be with you neither hell nor high water will stop her. You've let it be known you want to try again now leave it at that. Start living your life to the fullest. That's all you really can do. What she does it out of your control. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
New Hope Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 best bet respect her wishes and go into no contact........ Link to post Share on other sites
Teddy and Jane Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Well now you are feeling like she did when you wanted your space for all that time? How do you think she felt over a year ago when you said you needed space away from her? taking a break, or space, or whatever is the same as a breakup. You basically put her through the hell of a breakup, why should she just take you right back and everything be on your own terms? stew now in your own juices. Your turn to cry now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rokkyr Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 You are absolutely right....I must suffer the consequences of my actions... I made a mistake ...Poor judgement ..She is right I was wrong.... I just hope she comes home ... We can get married and learn and not lose it again.....However it will probably end the hard way........ the oh so lonely way....Time will heal it all ....maybe?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author rokkyr Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 why do you think or say you keep screwing it up? What are you doing? I keep screwing it up because when I talk to her or see her ( we have been out for dinner a couple of times) I keep falling into to telling her my feelings for her and I seem to be assume that I can "fix" it. Even though she seems to let me stroke her hair and back etc, At the end of the evening she says we are just friends,,, I have to learn to take it slower. That is how I think, I am screwing it up. Link to post Share on other sites
frd150 Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I keep screwing it up because when I talk to her or see her ( we have been out for dinner a couple of times) I keep falling into to telling her my feelings for her and I seem to be assume that I can "fix" it. Even though she seems to let me stroke her hair and back etc, At the end of the evening she says we are just friends,,, I have to learn to take it slower. That is how I think, I am screwing it up. Hey Rokkyr, Sorry you are in so much pain but i felt compelled to pass along some good advice i recieved here on loveshack. It goes along the lines of what the previous posters have said. First off you cannot "fix it". She has to be the one the more you force the more she will resent you. You have made your feelings known now it is up to her. If you want to waite for her to make her decision then so be it but you need to be prepaired for whatever. I did the same thing as you at the begining of my our break up. The hand holding,the "i love yous" the petting if you will. I was desperate and still am to a degree but all of this was only serving to push her away. If you are able to be her friend then be just that. If not go N/C and heal yourself. ( i am still struggling with this myself). If there is to be any hope you need to treat it like a new relationship. She has lost trust and it has been a year so imho i think she wants to see proof since it souds like she was very hurt by the break up. I sit where she sits 3 months fresh.If i was in her shoes i would be very cautious. I do not think i could handle the hurt again it was huge. Link to post Share on other sites
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