single.31 Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Well i think 3.5 years is a typical number with all of us. My ex and i broke up feb 12 i know b4 v-day. I broke nc on valentines sending her roses...Sent her a voice mail saying i miss her and love her.. wishing we could work it out...that night she calls saying thanks for the flowers.. she said she would feel guilty if she didnt. SO..she says she has made her decision... this is where i turned into pleading. BEGGING. give me another chance alalalala u all know the rest.. Well it is difficult when you meet the family meet extented family overseas and everyone is talking marriage. So we end the conversation that night... A week later for some reason i decided to break no contact. AGAIN .. this time showered her with gifts a book on love languages and a book of apologies and some other gifts. I had those books in my car showing hey i am takin a step to learn to speak your language. WE definately had communication isssues.. later in that week i contact a mutual friend who she had been bad mouthing for a long time .. and told her well she doesnt really want to be a part of your wedding...I told her i am not doing this out of spite. I said if someone was talking the way she was about my wedding i would LIKE the truth! so My friend calls her asking her for a reason and tells me some Nasty things ie job not being good enough, being stubborn... you all know the lines. now march break comes by a few days later and she breaks nc.. " jus wanted to say sorry for talking to jane doe about our personal probs and such jus wanted to tell u that myself" next day i respond what did you mean by that txt , and why r u appologizing her response its ok dont worry about it my reponse ok that was in march and havent had contact since.. jus have a gut wrenching feeling its not over however.. when she broke it off she was cold as liquid nitrogen... hurting and moving on slow! This chapter in my life doesnt feel closed as funky as that sounds... Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 Read the book entitled "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Glover and "Love Must Be Tough" by Dobson to get a better understanding of why begging, pleading, showering with gifts and other ways of trying to win her approval backfires. Read as many threads on no contact as you can here. It will explain what the main benefit of that is. You need to accept that it's over and move on. If she decides to try again it will be because she really wants to be with you, not because of what you lavish on her. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author single.31 Posted April 27, 2007 Author Share Posted April 27, 2007 I definately will.. thanks cali... gonna check out chapters and indigo Link to post Share on other sites
2ndIINone Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 I broke nc on valentines sending her roses Sent her a voice mail saying i miss her and love her. this is where i turned into pleading. BEGGING. give me another chance alalalala u all know the rest.. And none of this worked???? Hmmmmm... Ya learn anything from your actions??? Next time.... do the opposite. Link to post Share on other sites
Author single.31 Posted April 28, 2007 Author Share Posted April 28, 2007 what are my chances of her coming back... any input Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 what are my chances of her coming back... any input Instead of asking yourself that question, ask yourself "How long will I focus on the past instead of today?" You can't control her. You can't change the past. Don't scheme ways to win her back. Don't waste your time thinking about what you did wrong. Instead put the focus on YOU. Here and now. Today. If she decides to try again it will be after some time of NC has passed where she can think clearly without you influencing her. In the meantime, work out, hang out with friends, dive into new hobbies and focus on self-improvement. It's hard, but you can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author single.31 Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 thanks cali.. you seem to be a person who actually has gone through this many a time.. i have heard from the grape vine she says that "im not the right guy for her" hard to accept .... however i am now doing more things for myself ... each day... getting myself more goal oriented.. without the pressure from her... Golfing range helps get out anger.... I know i have to focus ON ME.. its hard since all i did was try to focus on her....I hate to put it this way but ITS TIME FOR ME TO BE SELFISH!! do what i want..not caring what she does.... again thanks cali for responding. hopefully you can provide me with more insight... thanks Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 thanks cali.. you seem to be a person who actually has gone through this many a time.. Once was enough. i have heard from the grape vine she says that "im not the right guy for her" hard to accept .... We are not right for everyone, everyone is not right for us. There are people who are right for us, we just need to keep on keeping on. however i am now doing more things for myself ... each day... getting myself more goal oriented.. without the pressure from her... Golfing range helps get out anger.... I know i have to focus ON ME.. its hard since all i did was try to focus on her....I hate to put it this way but ITS TIME FOR ME TO BE SELFISH!! do what i want..not caring what she does.... again thanks cali for responding. hopefully you can provide me with more insight... thanks You're on the right path. Just remember that if you stick to NC it will allow you to focus 100% on you. Over time you'll think about her less and less and eventually someone new will come into your life who will knock you off your feet. And she'll be the RIGHT woman for you. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author single.31 Posted May 1, 2007 Author Share Posted May 1, 2007 Its difficult to follow the advice of blocking them out of your thoughts when they meant so much to you... she stated she was a committment phobe in the beggining since she was cheated on in the past. i could tell she was insecure about her weight... she would cut peoples appearance down to feel good about herself she is also young 24 met at 21.. i dunno maybe she needs time to mature.. however i do know that my life doesnt end cuz of her .. its just the blocking out the thoughts of her... hope some of you can come up with some solutions to helping my mind move on ... thanks Link to post Share on other sites
krzr Posted May 1, 2007 Share Posted May 1, 2007 theres no solution just time and stay busy and try to better yourself instead of thinking about the ex and what she is doing because believe me she is doing everything for her selfish self. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts