Question for the guys.

[littlebopeep]

I know most guys start having sex quite young and for some the more partners/1 night stands the better for them.I just wanted to ask the guys after so long and so many partners,does it ever become boring and you find a relationship more fulfilling or do you prefer the single life.

 

Ive also read in some threads that when a relationship is having trouble that most girls want to talk about it there and then but a guy needs his own space to think about things before he makes a decision what to do.

 

What do you guys think?

[rokkyr]

I know most guys start having sex quite young and for some the more partners/1 night stands the better for them.I just wanted to ask the guys after so long and so many partners,does it ever become boring and you find a relationship more fulfilling or do you prefer the single life.

 

Ive also read in some threads that when a relationship is having trouble that most girls want to talk about it there and then but a guy needs his own space to think about things before he makes a decision what to do.

 

What do you guys think?

 

 

Hi Bopeep

this is rokky, I asked you another question after your last one and value your opinion, could you answer it when you get the time?

 

 

In answer to this question, I think a lot guys are looking for a meaningful relationship more thatn just a one night stand.

 

The other question I think couples try to talk it out but guys get more frustrated when they can not get their point across easily. The key to it all I think is acceptance of each others differences without questioning the small stuff.

Rokkyr

[CaliGuy]

I know most guys start having sex quite young and for some the more partners/1 night stands the better for them.I just wanted to ask the guys after so long and so many partners,does it ever become boring and you find a relationship more fulfilling or do you prefer the single life.

 

Ive also read in some threads that when a relationship is having trouble that most girls want to talk about it there and then but a guy needs his own space to think about things before he makes a decision what to do.

 

What do you guys think?

 

Meaningless sex. Some guys will disagree with me but the older I got, the less fun sex was with someone I did not care about. The more I cared about them, the more fulfilling my sex life was.

 

As for disucssing things, guys have been taught from a young age "Don't cry about that, be a man." and that translates into also not talking about their feelings because it makes them vulnerable. Men don't like to feel vulnerable. They'll clam up and stalk off to a private place where they can work things out in their head. Well, most men do.

 

Women say they want men who can communicate but it's the drama that men who do not communicate create that keeps them hooked. Women want to change him, get him to open up, talk about his feelings, etc. That's partially what drives some men away.

 

Men can and will talk if they aren't nagged into it. They have different ways of communicating. Most married men equate sex with love while women see love more so in how he makes her feel.

 

I suggest reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" to get a better explanation on how and why things work this way.

[loveratud]

It's a passing thing. When I became sexually active at age 14, it was basically a frenzy of sleeping with a lot of different people, and that continued for several years. A pretty big slowdown happened at 18, but then picked back up in the next few years. (I'm 22 now)

 

Looking back on it, it was 90% bragging\societal pressure\peer pressure and 10% actually wanting to do it.

 

One serious relationship and falling in love has totally ruined me. All of my previous casual aquaintances no longer arouse me, nor have any of the new ones I've met in the last few months.

 

I'm hooked on the loving relationship. Means way, way more to me than sex with a stranger.

[littlebopeep]

It's a passing thing. When I became sexually active at age 14, it was basically a frenzy of sleeping with a lot of different people, and that continued for several years. A pretty big slowdown happened at 18, but then picked back up in the next few years. (I'm 22 now)

 

Looking back on it, it was 90% bragging\societal pressure\peer pressure and 10% actually wanting to do it.

 

One serious relationship and falling in love has totally ruined me. All of my previous casual aquaintances no longer arouse me, nor have any of the new ones I've met in the last few months.

 

I'm hooked on the loving relationship. Means way, way more to me than sex with a stranger.

 

 

My ex was sexually active from a young age and i know he slept with lots of people but the longest he was with any 1 person was about 3 months.I was a bit worried about him being a player but he assured me that he had had a decent enough look around to know he was ready to settle down.

 

We were together 4.5 years and very much in love but when he had to go away for a year he ended things 5 weeks after being away.I personally think he met some1 else but 5 weeks:eek: and to end a 4.5 relationship.

 

People say he will regret it but that was 7 months ago and the longer its been the better im getting.I think if hes ended it to live a single life then hes not worth any effort on my part.Its not that easy to find some1 you are really compatible with but imo people can and do throw good things away too easily.

 

 

Thanks for your replies,its nice to know that there are some guys that do appreciate a relationship and not want to get a kick out of seeing how many women they can bed.Thanks.

[rokkyr]

Hey Bopeep are you in UK. I am the USA What do you think about an idea that maybe I can email your ex and talk to him from my point of view and tell what is real in this world. You could possibly email my ex and maybe we can both find out whether there is love there for either one and if they be repaired. What do you think?? At least it may close down the time and space of healing. We could work it all out before anything at all is said?????

let me know what you think?and if so I will give you an email address that we can swap ideas? Or is this just a crazy desparate idea???

 

Rokkyr

[What?]

Its not that easy to find some1 you are really compatible with but imo people can and do throw good things away too easily.

 

Amen, sister!

[littlebopeep]

Hey Bopeep are you in UK. I am the USA What do you think about an idea that maybe I can email your ex and talk to him from my point of view and tell what is real in this world. You could possibly email my ex and maybe we can both find out whether there is love there for either one and if they be repaired. What do you think?? At least it may close down the time and space of healing. We could work it all out before anything at all is said?????

let me know what you think?and if so I will give you an email address that we can swap ideas? Or is this just a crazy desparate idea???

 

Rokkyr

 

I am in the uk.I can see how much this is really hurting you but i dont think our exs would like the fact that we have discussed our relationships with other people,it would probably make matters worse.

 

Its such a hard predicament to be in.You want them to know that you still love them so much but letting them know can push them further away,but then you go n/c and they probably think you dont care at all.

 

The last time my ex spoke to me was a few days ago,just general chat but then he said he was home for the holiday weekend this week something he wouldnt tell me normally since we split up.

He was being a little bit flirty and when i asked him what his plans were for the weekend he said he had no plans.

 

I said we should meet and have a drink and he said that would be good i,ll let you know but since then nothing.Imo hes playing silly games and i dont want that.Ive made my mind up now that i dont want him anymore.I gave him a chance/chances and for a man that claimed he still loved me he threw it back in my face.

 

I think you have done everything you can now rokky to try and win her back but unfortunately you may have left it too late.I understand your hurt but being in youe exs situation,i feel hers too.I loved my ex unconditionally but he gave that love away.Time to move on completely now and you must do the same.

 

The trust is broken and that is so so hard to replace.Take care.xx

[Trialbyfire]

One serious relationship and falling in love has totally ruined me. All of my previous casual aquaintances no longer arouse me, nor have any of the new ones I've met in the last few months.

 

I'm hooked on the loving relationship. Means way, way more to me than sex with a stranger.

Ah, a guy who understands why some women won't put out until there's an emotional connection. Casual sex palls next to a meaningful expression of loving each other.

 

While it's true that many women hold out for the control and power over the guy, it's not something that all women believe.

[Auqakuh]

I know most guys start having sex quite young and for some the more partners/1 night stands the better for them.I just wanted to ask the guys after so long and so many partners,does it ever become boring and you find a relationship more fulfilling or do you prefer the single life.

 

Ive also read in some threads that when a relationship is having trouble that most girls want to talk about it there and then but a guy needs his own space to think about things before he makes a decision what to do.

 

What do you guys think?

 

Yes, one night stands become boring. They don't provide enough intimacy, enough -connection-, at least for me. After my first love died, I reacted by sleeping around. Like, alot. I practice safe sex so fine on that score, but that's not the only harm that can come to you through sleeping around.

 

The only positive from that period of my life is that I learned alot about how to please and how to accept pleasure.

 

That's it.

 

Other than that (sorry girls), I'm afraid I didn't get much out of it at all. Sex in a relationship does far more for me... and doesn't require anywhere near as many deviant acts to be thoroughly enjoyable.

 

Well, at first. >.>

 

I must admit despite being male I don't really understand this "needing space" business. I never need space. I'd rather sit and talk about it til I'm blue in the face. And then the make-up sex.

 

No, seriously, I don't understand it. I talk, talk, talk, talk, about feelings, whatever, doesn't bother me at all. Maybe I was just brought up differently to most?