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ex's who call and hang up on you, or let it ring twice and hang up. WTF is that??????


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Old 6th February 2007, 10:15 PM   #1
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ex's who call and hang up on you, or let it ring twice and hang up. WTF is that??????

hi just was wondering if anyone has had any experiences in having an ex call and hang up on them, or repeatedly let the phone ring a couple of times and then stop (over a period of hours).

Has anyone had this done to them before? what is the psychology behind it? why don't they just ring and say "sorry i was wrong to dump you , lets try again"

or has anyone done this to someone else? (its anonymous here) if so, what were u trying to do???

i think another ex of mine called last nite every half hour for over about 3 hours, until midnight. He just would let it ring twice and then it would stop.
It was really freakin me out because i live alone.

Anyone know whats going on with someone like this???

He was the one who dumped me!!! (and very badly)

Last edited by mishy; 6th February 2007 at 10:17 PM..
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Old 6th February 2007, 10:20 PM   #2
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I'll be curious to see the responses you get on this one. My last contact with "my" guy was a one ring hang up. The phone registered that he was the one that called. A VM back to him elicited no response. Couldn't have been a mistaken redial, he dials each number each time.
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Old 6th February 2007, 10:25 PM   #3
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the number that came up on the caller ID was a "private" number. He has a private number. I only know 2 people with private numbers and he is one of them, and ironically both of them have private numbers because they themselves were stalked by someone. the other person is my best friend, and its obviously not her doing it.

I have to clarify that he hasn't actually called and hung up when i've answered, , he's only called and let it ring twice and hung up. But it was from 9;30pm to midnight so it kind of scared me.
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Old 6th February 2007, 10:29 PM   #4
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the number that came up on the caller ID was a "private" number.
Yea, that would have me scared too. You could call the police to trace the call if you need to. They will know who's calling, in case it's something more than what you think or if you are worried.
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Old 6th February 2007, 11:51 PM   #5
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The same thing happened to me. My ex and I broke up, she initiated it. OK, whatever. THEN she calls anonymous. I know it's her. She never leaves a voice mail. The one time I did actually answer she hung up right away.

Why do they do that? I wish I could answer your question because it would answer mine!!! I'd be happier if she called up and said, "You're an ******* and your breath stinks!" At least then I would know who it was and how they felt about me! This anonymous **** drives me CRAZY! She left me, not me breaking up with her!! Arggggh!
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Old 7th February 2007, 8:00 AM   #6
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Maybe your exes are trying to see if you still have the same phone?

I know I did that a while ago (just phoned a couple of times, once every few days and let it ring once then hung up) just because my ex had said he was getting a new sim card to stop me calling him.

He was convinced I was going to keep phoning him even thought I'd made my decision to go completely NC, so I didn't want him to change his number because then he wouldn't know that I wasn't calling him out of choice! At least if he kept his existing number, he'd see I wasn't phoning him because I didn't want to, not because I'd been forced into it because he'd changed his numer.

It made sense in my mind at the time!

So...I phoned a couple of times just to check he still had his old number. It was a pride thing, really.

Or it could be your ex doesn't realise they've withheld their number and was hoping that by phoning once you'd see their number, get curious and call back?
On my mobile, there are settings to choose whether you want to send your number or withhold it. One of my younger brothers changed the settings to 'withhold number' once, and I didn't realise for ages.

Or they could be stalking you
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Old 7th February 2007, 9:15 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mishy View Post
the number that came up on the caller ID was a "private" number. He has a private number.
If you want to drive him nuts enable ACR on your phone (Anonymous Call Reject). Then he'll get a message when he tries to call that says this number does not accept blocked calls. It'll also cut down on telemarketers.
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Old 7th February 2007, 4:30 PM   #8
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Maybe a long shot...but is he checking to see if your line is engaged, i.e. you're talking to someone else?
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Old 7th February 2007, 5:14 PM   #9
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It's very simple. The ex is thinking of you, wants to make contact but for whatever reason isn't game to do it themselves.

Strange anonymous calls are meant to make you think it might be them and wonder why, while giving them deniability.

And it's working on you.

I wouldn't be scared about it, though.
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Old 7th February 2007, 6:18 PM   #10
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His number is automatically blocked. If you ring from his phone it will come up as a private number wherever you call. This is a landline number i'm talking about, not a mobile.

He didn't ring last night though. It was just weird that it was every 40 minutes- you know- repetitive. It was quite freaky.

We don't have a thing in this country that allows you to block private numbers I don't think. You can block any other number though.


Maybe your exes are trying to see if you still have the same phone?

I know I did that a while ago (just phoned a couple of times, once every few days and let it ring once then hung up) just because my ex had said he was getting a new sim card to stop me calling him.

He was convinced I was going to keep phoning him even thought I'd made my decision to go completely NC, so I didn't want him to change his number because then he wouldn't know that I wasn't calling him out of choice! At least if he kept his existing number, he'd see I wasn't phoning him because I didn't want to, not because I'd been forced into it because he'd changed his numer.

It made sense in my mind at the time!

So...I phoned a couple of times just to check he still had his old number. It was a pride thing, really.


I did exactly the same thing- with this guy!!!!!!!! So i do understand to some extent why people do it - but the thing is with this guy- is that he dumped me!! And he rang me repeatedly in one night.

I guess I am concerned in that if its NOT him , then I should actually be scared. I would be relieved if it was him , because he would never hurt me. It would be that he wants me to realise its him because so few people i know have a private number.
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Old 7th February 2007, 6:29 PM   #11
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My manager is younger then I am and his girlfriend of 7 years (they are not married) was all pissed at him one day and she would call like every 10 minutes and when we answered she would hang up. We knew it was her because caller ID showed the phone number. Then we started playing with her and she got pissed and finally talked to him and said she was going to call his boss and tell him how rude we were on the phone.
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Old 8th February 2007, 5:25 PM   #12
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I can relate

I thought that crazy sh** only happened to me. My ex-fiance and lady of 8 years dumped me over six months ago, So two months in after i went NC, i started getting restricted calls on my cell phone. At first it would be 2-3 that came through late at night. I'd answer and they wouldn't say anything.

Eventually the calls turned into daily occurances, nightly too. Once the restricted caller called hundreds of times back to back from 4am one day to 6am the next day.

I highly suspected it was the ex, but i wasn't sure. So i never picked up and asked her to stop. I just stopped answering. The calls kept coming and i kept ignoring.

Soooo, i moved recently to another city and part of me wanted to change my #, while the other that suspecting the ex was my restricted caller, wanted to wait till they called again.

Well the restricted caller/ex called two days ago at 2am. I answered, but still silence...so i said "ok, i don't know who you are, but i have my suspicions. I'm changing my number next week, so if you have something to say to me say it now."

After a few seconds of silence..The ex i haven't heard from in 3 months says "Why haven't you called." Ha...I was the one dumped and devestated BTW.

But to answer your question, she told me she called to see if i was still alive and to hear my vioce. That's BS...because after "hearing my vioce" answering the phone or on my viocemail, she's known i was very much "alive."

I really don't know what their motivation is, they just do it. I once heard someone say dumpers eventually suffers through the same mental pain the dumpee goes through. However, by this time (of realization) the dumpee has already built up a wall, went NC and began to heal. In other words, the dumpers realize the grass ain't no greener and the tables turn.

The ex is now calling me, unrestricted, everyday about nothing, She literally has no material to discuss and apolozies for BS. "I'm sorry i text you too many letters, called you at 3 pm" WTF. I've yet to hear, i'm sorry i dumped you though.
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Old 9th February 2007, 10:59 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm the write one View Post

After a few seconds of silence..The ex i haven't heard from in 3 months says "Why haven't you called." Ha...I was the one dumped and devestated BTW.

But to answer your question, she told me she called to see if i was still alive and to hear my vioce. That's BS...because after "hearing my vioce" answering the phone or on my viocemail, she's known i was very much "alive."

I really don't know what their motivation is, they just do it. I once heard someone say dumpers eventually suffers through the same mental pain the dumpee goes through. However, by this time (of realization) the dumpee has already built up a wall, went NC and began to heal. In other words, the dumpers realize the grass ain't no greener and the tables turn.

The ex is now calling me, unrestricted, everyday about nothing, She literally has no material to discuss and apolozies for BS. "I'm sorry i text you too many letters, called you at 3 pm" WTF. I've yet to hear, i'm sorry i dumped you though.
wow , that was a really interesting post- as soon as they realise you are not going to bother trying to get them back anymore they start calling - like exactly what your ex said "why haven't u called".

I certainly hope my ex goes through or is going through even a little bit of pain over it. His last words were " i haven't regretted my decision yet" And i said no ofcourse you haven't because i am still giving you attention by calling you every week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I suspect that now, the regret will start to happen. Its just my intuition - a gut feeling. He can't get out of this without feeling it. he would just not be human.

A friend suggested that he might have been drunk when he made the prank calls the other night. Or because I rang him a couple of times and hung up on him because I was too freaked out that he answered- he might have been getting me back for that.

I gave him so much attention trying to get him back and begging and pleading- but now its all stopped - so maybe even THAT was the reason for the calls.

But yeah the grass is always greener when they realise what they had is gone for good.
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Old 11th February 2007, 1:38 PM   #14
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I admit I've done it a few times. He doesn't have caller I.D. cell so I felt safe even though I'm sure he knew it was me. I would get this need to hear his voice and then when the phone rang I paniced and hung up. Pathetic I know.

But it beats leaving a rambling please come back message that I did the first few weeks.
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