thecount Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Hey folks, I hope you're all doing ok. For those of you who know my story I'll start off where I left off. For those who don't, if you want read my past posts it's way too much to write down the history. ok, when we last left off my g/f and I broke up christmas eve. She called me back christmas night. She said it was the wrong thing to do so on and so forth... She started to go to therapy, the first time she went she asked if I can go with her. So I did, being the "nice guy" that I am. After she was done I was asked to go in, and discuss our relationship. The therapist said that what she did to me was cruel, and If I didn't ever want to see her again he would more then understand, but since I was there he said that he can fix this for us. (it showed him that I still cared) He asked what is it I want her to do to try to fix this. I said, she needs to be honest with me, and never ever call her ex again. He said that's fair, she said that more then fair. 2 weeks go by and I notice something, she's hiding her cell again. Hummmm... now, she hasn't been speaking to her friends because they all don't want to know her these days. She's been F**ked up to them as well. I looked in her cell phone (I know bad move, but I had to) and I noticed that she had called her friend. hummmm... I looked up her number in her contect list and no it wasn't her friend it was her ex. WHAT THE F**K!. So I ask her what gives, she said that she was lonely and needed to talk to someone. And so she calls him? She said that she saw him 2x and for only 5 min and spoke to him a few times during that time. She said that she spoke to her therapist about it and the therapist was beside himself too. He said whenever you feel that way you should call me. So now she says that she will not contact him again. AGAIN??? how many times is she going to say that? I guess the moral to the story is that a L[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]eopard doesn’t change it’s spots. Not even when they go to therapy. What a jerk. [/FONT][/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 I'm sorry she's being such an ass. I hate when people ask for second chances and then do nothing to be worthy of them. It's going to take a lot more than a few sessions of therapy to get her head on straight. She has to be committed to working on her issues in order for therapy to do much good. You don't have to stick around while she does it. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecount Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 At this point it's almost comical the BS that she pulls. How can someone pay for therapy, can't afford it to begin with, and then intentionally screw it up? Why would anyone do that? Someone help me try to figure this out. It's not about love, or me even staying with her. Where is this thought process coming from. It's defeats all the fundamentals of human logic. She can't be that stupid can she? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me. She doesn't want to change. She thinks she does, but her actions prove otherwise. How long are going to put up with it before you put your foot down and walk away? Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me. She doesn't want to change. She thinks she does, but her actions prove otherwise. How long are going to put up with it before you put your foot down and walk away? God, this describes my recent EX to the tee! Same damn crap, calling me over while telling her affair guy something else. Lame. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecount Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 Maybe it's me. I should go to therapy. and learn to be more selfish. and hurt people, and not have a conscience. It is done, I'm not talking to her, she played me for a fool way too many times. I just don't understand why people need to play these foolish games, and then cry when you leave. Like it's such a shock that you are not willing to put up with it. Is she kidding me? and then she says things about herself like being a looser, a piece of ****, I don't know why I do these things. and she said it like she wanted me to tell her that she was wrong. I said nothing to her. Just left. Link to post Share on other sites
Davis Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 she says things about herself like being a looser, a piece of ****, I don't know why I do these things. and she said it like she wanted me to tell her that she was wrong. I said nothing to her. Just left. Sorry to welcome to the world of mentally fckd up women, my friend. They want you to tell them they're ok, they want to get your sympathy and they want to control you. I was in the same situation, bro. Like my ex, yours plays these games because she is totally mixed up in the head. It will likely take her a long time in therapy to make progress. Unfortunately, nice guys like us hang on, try to understand them and try to save them. It's not going to work. My ex was a total liar and cheater with a binge drinking problem. She was going to therapy. It's hard to understand why people like Charles Manson committed the heinous crimes that they did ... we will never understand them or our exes because they think completely differently than we do. Rooster and Cali are right. Moreover, your ex likely has a major character flaw; i.e. a very dysfunctional personality that will take a long time (if ever) to fix. She will continue to lie and cheat and manipulate you. It hurts. It sucks. The best advice I can give is total NC and move on for your own sanity and dignity. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecount Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 Ohhh you are so right about the controllng part. She wanted total control. She saw a side of me that she's never seen when we broke up on Christmas Eve. Get the F**k out, leave, don't call... She didn't know what to say or do. I think she was shocked that I let her go so fast. Go good-bye, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. This time I think it's worse, I don't answer the phone, don't talk to her, I don't even read her e-mails. I am disgusted with her. I don't even find her attractive anymore. How someone so pretty can turn ugly in matters of seconds is amazing. Oh well, not my problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Ohhh you are so right about the controllng part. She wanted total control. She saw a side of me that she's never seen when we broke up on Christmas Eve. Get the F**k out, leave, don't call... She didn't know what to say or do. I think she was shocked that I let her go so fast. Go good-bye, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. This time I think it's worse, I don't answer the phone, don't talk to her, I don't even read her e-mails. I am disgusted with her. I don't even find her attractive anymore. How someone so pretty can turn ugly in matters of seconds is amazing. Oh well, not my problem. Unless you find a really great woman of integrity and intelligence, nice guys will always lose to a woman. Best thing to do is take a long time off and discover who you are and want to be. Make yourself the most important person in your life, and stick with it. That is not to say be selfish and self serving, just understand what you want out of life and don't let anyone take it away from you. I caved into the my EX because I think I loved her way too much, and basically gave her everything and sacrificing my own needs. It's a mistake many people make, and many people have a hard time coming to terms with. The world is still a great place, so whether you decide to embrace a relationship or stay single, there are many other oppurtunities to be happy. Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecount Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 I think that you have to be confident in yourself. once that's gone, you lost yourself, and it doesn't matter what relationship your in. One could have the most amazing relationship out there, but unless you're confident that you deserve to be happy, you'll make yourself and your partner miserable. My ex told her shrink, she doesn't deserve me, she's not good enough for me. She doesn't deserve someone who treats her like gold as she puts it. So you do anything and everything to sabotage the relationship? With my ex, She not too confident, she wants to stop therapy because it's not working. I told her, you havn't been there a month yet. She's not patient to wait and work things out. She is her own worst enemy. I hope that she takes care of herself, because I can't do it for her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 "My ex told her shrink, she doesn't deserve me, she's not good enough for me. She doesn't deserve someone who treats her like gold as she puts it. So you do anything and everything to sabotage the relationship?" Holy crap. I can sympathize with this one. My whatever he is just a few weeks ago told me that i treat him like a king and he doesn't know how to handle it because he's not used to it. I dont know about any of you, but would you want to give up someone that treated you like a king? Link to post Share on other sites
Davis Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Ariawoman: that means you're too nice!! My ex said the same cr**p. I think she subconsciously wants someone to cheat on her and treat her badly (I know you would think therapy would be easier for her). Your guy doesn't want to be treated like a king because he does not think he's worthy (is he a loser or he just has low self esteem?). For some reason he has to work through his dysfunctions with his therapist and with someone that doesn't treat him well. My guess is he'll be drawn to a girl that doesn't treat him well or sh**t on the nice ones like you. IMO, I would not treat him like a king or at least not as often. I hate to play games, but if you are going to try to stay in this deal with him, you're at least going to have to change your game. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 I tend to agree with you Davis. He might have low self esteem, but then again, don't most of us? He wasburned in his previous relationship (that ended in 2005) and could still have issues with that. He said she didn't treat him all that well, that he didn't always feel listened to, that they had differing opinions on some things that are important to him, etc. Personally, I can't imagine giving up great to settle for familiar. I also don't really know that i want to start to treat him worse, because well, I like being true to how I feel about someone and I'm not into playing games. It might moreso be a case of needing to find someone that's worthy of the way I treat them. Too bad I can't accept that idea and break it off. Though something tells me he's gonna break it off this weekend anyway since he's MIA today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecount Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 ariawoman, just don't answer him when he calls. You do need to take control of your life. Respect yourself! no one else is going to do it for you. You're not playing games, you're showing him he can't hurt you, and don't let him. I just found out that my ex just got her ass kicked from her sister over a phone charger. I think that whole family needs help. My friend told me it was really bad, the sister had my ex by the hair and was banging her head on the floor. That's insane! No wonder she's the way she is. I remember her therapist telling her she needs to move out. I think that's more apperent now more then ever. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 I hope I have the strength to ignore it if he does, but I dont know what the heck is going on. I know that I'm the only one that can protect myself. It's funny, you trust those you love with your life, and yet they won't protect you when the sh*t comes down or they feel weird. On a side note, i can't see the word therapist and not see "the rapist'. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecount Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 "On a side note, i can't see the word therapist and not see "the rapist'. lol" That is right..LOL Get yourself together and go out tonight. Doesn't matter if he calls or not. Do for yourself, it's all up to you. I know it's hard, it took me sometime to get over it, not like I'm so much better right now, but I know I'm better off, and you're going to be also. Be good to yourself :-) Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Hey...you're in my state....lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecount Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 Yes I am, Sayreville, U? Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Piscataway lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecount Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 We're close, If you want to meet somewhere... Link to post Share on other sites
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