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Now I'm pissed with my ex...


littlepiggy1

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Oi. My ex calls me. Again. To ask another "favor".

 

She asks me if I could come over to her place on the weekend to fix her computer.

 

This happens to be a computer that was provided to her from her work. So I ask, "why don't you take it in to your work?" She responds that that's too much of a hassle. So I respond (jokingly, I thought), "Right, it's a hassle for you to take it work, but not for me to come and fix it?" After which, I emphasized that she'd be better off taking it to her work.

 

I think I came off a bit harsher than I intended. I really don't want to go and fix her damned computer. The "hassle" comment was intended jokingly, but I think it came across wrong.

 

At any rate, she goes quiet. I ask, "hello?". Then she starts to get kind of pissy. I'm like, "you're pissed at me now?". She starts to rattle off something (I heard the word "****"), at which point I just hung up. I really do not want this drama and I just don't want to sit their trying to explain myself.

 

Now I'm contemplating an email telling her I don't want her to contact me any more. We had talked about "being friends" for awhile and I tried to be friendly with her. But if this sort of thing is going to happen, I don't need it. We need to move on already.

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superconductor

Why even contact her? She's using you, dude. This whole notion of being friends with her is strictly for her convenience.

 

It's just as well that you came off harsh. She needs to know that you're not her lap-dog.

 

If you MUST contact her again - and I strongly suggest you don't bother - tell her to get her own damn computer fixed on her own time/dime.

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Why even contact her? She's using you, dude. This whole notion of being friends with her is strictly for her convenience.

 

I have two notions about this thing.

 

The first is that she just wants to see me again. You see, this is now the third time in the last 4-5 weeks that she asked to basically see me (previously she just wanted to hang out, and a week or two ago she wanted me to take he to this romatic place we used to go).

 

And the second is yeah, she's using me. She does have this attitude about not doing things for herself (probably comes from being the youngest in the family). But at the same time, she can always call someone else to go fix it.

 

If you MUST contact her again - and I strongly suggest you don't bother - tell her to get her own damn computer fixed on her own time/dime.

 

Yeah, I'm thinking I don't even want to bother. If she contacts me again, we'll see, but I don't even want to put the effort to send her an email. I just don't care.

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did you break up with her or did she break up with you?

 

It was sort of mutual, but I think that we both think we broke up with the other person.

 

At any rate, I think she has had a harder time getting over it than I have. She tends to intiate contact with me far more than I do, and is always the one asking to see me, not the other way around.

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I'm in this situation right now, my ex just wants me to be his friend so he thinks I will still do the same **** for him when we were together. Hells No. You have to draw the line here.

 

No Contact is about the best way to go with it.

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At any rate, I think she has had a harder time getting over it than I have. She tends to intiate contact with me far more than I do, and is always the one asking to see me, not the other way around.

 

Since she seems to still care about you I am pretty sure that she didn't meant to use you - it sounds more like she used the computer as an excuse to see you.

(if you still had feelings for her and she was over you I would have agreed that she was selfishly using you)

 

I suggest that you send her a nice email, apologizing for having sounded harsh on the phone and telling her you did not mean to be rude to her (just because it might spare you some heated discussion!! :)), make it clear that you think you should go separate ways and ask her not to call you again because it would make things harder for both of you.

 

That is, if you are sure you should both move on.

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Since she seems to still care about you I am pretty sure that she didn't meant to use you - it sounds more like she used the computer as an excuse to see you.

 

Yeah, that's what I figure it mainly was, but at the same time, she is the type who always wants other people to do things for her. She acts quite helpless a lot of the time, even when it comes to pretty simple things.

 

I suggest that you send her a nice email, apologizing for having sounded harsh on the phone and telling her you did not mean to be rude to her (just because it might spare you some heated discussion!! :)).

 

The problem I have with this is it calls to mind too many past memories of our relationship. Because she can be a bit sensitive at times, more than once she's misinterpreted me or something was lost in translation and it results in her getting pissed at me. And quite frankly, it's one thing I'm not missing I can tell you!

 

In fact, on the phone when I could tell she was getting pissy, my first instinct was to be apologetic. Then I caught myself and thought, "wtf, I don't have to put up with this anymore!" *click* And it felt pretty good to simply hang up and not have to deal with it.

 

I'll probably give it a day then decide what to do.

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The problem I have with this is it calls to mind too many past memories of our relationship. Because she can be a bit sensitive at times, more than once she's misinterpreted me or something was lost in translation and it results in her getting pissed at me. And quite frankly, it's one thing I'm not missing I can tell you!

 

I see your point, people who are always misinterpreting can be pretty frustrating.

 

In fact, on the phone when I could tell she was getting pissy, my first instinct was to be apologetic. Then I caught myself and thought, "wtf, I don't have to put up with this anymore!" *click* And it felt pretty good to simply hang up and not have to deal with it.

 

Good. One more point showing that you made the right decision.

 

I'll probably give it a day then decide what to do.

 

Good luck with telling her!

Remember to throw in that you think it's better for *both* of you if you stop hearing from each other. It might help her understanding that it's nothing against her personally, it would help her self esteem a little, and it might (hopefully) spare you some more hassles.

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Having slept on it, I don't really feel like emailing her at all today. I just don't care enough to send her an email either way. I'm not about to be apologetic, but at the same time, telling her I don't want to talk to her any more seems like it might be inviting more conflict.

 

I think I'll leave the ball in her court. If she contacts me, she contacts me. I'm not going to bother, though. I've got other stuff on my mind right now.

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