fireflywy Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Hey everyone, Doing much much MUCH better. However I have a dumb question. The other day I went into a Walmart and was doing some shopping. As I was going in I noticed that my ex also happened to be there (she has a very distinctive automobile) but I went in anyway. I decided to talk to my friend on my cell phone as I went in to look a little busier in a conversation and to focus on something different. As I was going down one of the isles to the CD section, I was walking, talking to my friend, looking at my cart and when I looked up I saw my ex's seven year old daughter playing with the CD video monitor. I didn't see my ex (because it happened so quickly) but as soon as I saw her daughter I did a complete 180 and quickly went the other way. I don't know if my ex saw my reaction or not. My ex used to complain that her ex boyfriend (the 1.5 year guy) wouldn't even acknowledge her little girl or even speak to her (the ex) at all. Now, I wasn't trying to avoid her daughter because I no longer cared,(she's a wonderful little girl) but I didn't want to risk having her little girl see me and run up and give me a hug or talk to me. I didnt want that because I don't know what my ex would have said. If you guys will remember from my previous posts, my ex said that she wished to no longer communicate and we've had No Contact for 45+ days. I went the other way because I felt that I had no right to talk to her or her little girl given the way our relationship ended. I know that we'll run into each other someday but I certainly didn't want it be in that manner. I know I shouldn't care about what my ex thinks but I certainly didn't want her to think that I would avoid her little girl because I stopped caring like her ex did. Was that dumb of me to do? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Why do you care so much what your ex thinks? Frankly, I think you did the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Um, sorry but I think you should have probably about turned when you saw the car in the lot. Maybe you didn't count on the little girl being there but hoped to spot your ex anyways and it all went awry..? I'm not calling you out on it, not sure I'd do any different but it might be sensible in future to re-think before going in next time.. it would only cause pain for you and discomfort for your ex and confusion for the little girl. (and that comes off harsher than intended, apologies!) Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I think your biggest mistake in this situation was shopping at Walmart. Ok- off the soapbox now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fireflywy Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 Um, sorry but I think you should have probably about turned when you saw the car in the lot. Maybe you didn't count on the little girl being there but hoped to spot your ex anyways and it all went awry..? I'm not calling you out on it, not sure I'd do any different but it might be sensible in future to re-think before going in next time.. it would only cause pain for you and discomfort for your ex and confusion for the little girl. (and that comes off harsher than intended, apologies!) No apologies necessary I knew that she was in there, you're right, and I decided to go in anyway. I always thought that if I ran into her someday that we (or at least I) could be mature enough to keep my composure and or handle it in a mature way. I would have no problem talking to them, (not at all), but I feel that it should be she who breaks the ice first. I certainly am not going to rush up and talk to her daughter without at least having the acknowledgement that it would be okay to do so in a chance encounter. We live in a small to moderately sized town and there will be days when we can't avoid each other. I shouldn't have to stop living my life because I know she may be somewhere that I need to go. Nor should she. To be honest it did cause some discomfort at first but at the same time, I need to get used to that and let it pass through me. I guess I only wrote that to see if what I did was understandable. Link to post Share on other sites
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