Beaten Up and Ex's Profile

[NightsInWhiteSatin]

I've had a crappy few days...i went out for the first time in months and i got beaten up by a girl because her friend fancies me and she fancies him...lovely.

I ran out of the club after extremely drunk i have no idea how i managed to get a taxi and get in my house i cried all the way home i remember that....and all i wanted was my ex...i just wanted to ring him...and be with him. It felt so weird going out without him and his/our friends...i felt so alone and i still feel so alone....my best mate is going to live in spain and the other one is moving down south...and i have no one because all my other friends are his and all live near him and i cant see them without seeing him too.

 

This girl harrassed me on my myspace profile too so i've taken everything off it and just before i went i check my ex's myspace...and he has two...one for his band and one for his solo work...the solo work one has songs about me on it that he wrote...and theyre still on there and so are my pictures and comments....and he still has me written as his girlfriend on it and pics of me with 'i love ya kim' under it etc....and he hasn't changed anything over the past month since we split.

[the_alchemyst]

Oh my! I am SO sorry to hear that you got hurt like that!

 

How old is this girl? 10? Why would anyone with even the slightest amount of maturity resort to beating someone else up just because they person they fancy fancies another? It's neither person's fault! Ugh. I am so sorry about this.

 

That stupid girl. :angry:

 

About his myspace: Well, there seem to be two plausible reasons here.

 

1.) He's lazy and just hasn't feel the need/want to take anything that has to do with you or anyone/anything else off. Many males are very lazy like this. I remember I once snuck into my exbfs room and he had everything I had ever given him as well as the stuff I had left there in the exact same place. Nothing was unchanged; nothing was unmoved. I was happied by this at first, until my bubble was burst--he was just too damned lazy to remove them!

 

2.) He's still trying to hang onto whatever palpable memory of you he can. It's true. Maybe a part of him doesn't think it's really over; maybe a part of him still considers you his gf; maybe a part him wishes everything were the way it used to be, and by not changing his profile, it kind of materializes that wish.

 

Whatever the reason, the only certainty here is that you don't and can't know his reasons for doing this, and that you will only drive yourself crazy by trying to figure it out.

 

That's how I felt when I saw my exbf's room. For days and night without end I tried to figure out just why he still had all of my stuff. A part of me kept telling me that I knew he was rather lazy and that this was probably why he still had everything untouched in the first place. The other part of me kept reminding me of the thing he did move: his record collection. He had it on top of a shelf with one of The Beatles on top. When I went in there, he had it on his nightstand instead, with on or Marvin Gaye on top this time--curiously the only record I had given him, and curiously significantly closer to his bed, so that upon waking up, it's one of the first things he must see.

 

You see how much my mind worked? This is not the way to go about it, hon. It's pure torture on your already hurt self. I would like to agree with most of the people here and tell you to "f*** him, not worry about it, and move on," but this doesn't work for me, and I'm not one to advocate something I don't fully believe in.

 

What I can say is this: Think about it. You know him more than anyone else here, and maybe more than anyone else in general, so if anyone will have at least a small remote idea of why he still has his myspace flooded with remembrances of you, it will be you. Sit down and think of why he might have done this--but only for a while. In this case, I suggest you go with what your heart says, given the case that it and your mind may disagree. If you think he is just being lazy, then go with this. If you think it is because he is still holding onto at least the abstract idea of what is you in hopes of someday working things out, then go with this. Or if you find another reason and believe it to be true, go with that. Pick on and believe it. Then, shove it all the way to the back of your mind.

 

This is so that you will not be constantly thinking about it, but yet in your heart you will have found the answer--at least, the answer you think to be true.

 

And lastly, don't visit his page anymore. You know it is there, and leave it there.

 

Answering the question for yourself if for your own benefit. Pick whichever you believe to be truly true and find closure to that question. Once answered, you should stop wondering and thinking about it.

 

But all in all, just please don't visit his myspace anymore. Not myspace or any other webpage if he has more. All they really do it hurt you.

 

It's like picking a scab really: the more you pick it, the less it will heal.

[NightsInWhiteSatin]

thankyou for your insight into all this you're right i shouldn't visit his myspace anymore....i should just put him in the past....no matter how he feels about me he's made it clear he doesn't want to be with me and i shouldn't sit around waiting for him to change his mind...i've got a life to be getting on with

[Zeppelin456]

thankyou for your insight into all this you're right i shouldn't visit his myspace anymore....i should just put him in the past....no matter how he feels about me he's made it clear he doesn't want to be with me and i shouldn't sit around waiting for him to change his mind...i've got a life to be getting on with

 

That's good that you say that now. I am just warning you that it might take a little bit longer to truly BELIEVE it. I decided the same thing after about a month or so of pining after my ex girlfriend but it took more months before I finally took her pictures off my wall, deleted her from myspace, etc etc...