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Moving On (or trying to)


BBetsy

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I don't fall in love often. Apparently, looking back, only once every 10 years on average. So, it's not like I just throw my heart around hoping it will stick somewhere.

 

So, this decade, I believed I'd finally found the ONE I would spend the rest of my life with. He said so, too. And acted like it, for almost 2 years. The last few months he was pushing me away, and now I can look at it and see what he was doing, but at the time I was just trying and trying to pull him back and make it work like it used to. He's got himself a new girlfriend and a new convertible and has apparently forgotten every promise he ever made to me.

 

So, almost three months ago, he dumps me and I'm devastated. He won't talk to me anymore, answer my emails, which I sent stupidly and mostly in a drunken state of misery, which I'd end up apologizing for the next morning. Nothing too bad, just begging or trying to remind him how great things once were. He shut me off entirely.

 

After a bad night a week and a half ago, I quit sitting at home drinking alone so I wouldn't do that any more and have maintained no contact since. Friday night, I made myself fabulous and went out and ran into a friend's cousin who I'd met before, who is cute and nice and cool and single and fun and we hung out the rest of the night. Last night, he took me out on a great date, fancy dinner, riding around in his convertible listening to music, later making out, it was great.

 

Even though tears were rolling out of my eyes when he was kissing me. He didn't notice because I managed to pull it together, but I thought my boyfriend was the last man I would ever kiss like that again in my life and it's a big step to go out and do this again. It hurts so much, but I have to move on, right?

 

This guy is really cool and nice, but I can tell you this. Even if I get swept up in a rebound thing, I know that's what it is and I would never hurt him or anyone else the way my ex hurt me. That's careless and irresponsible and immature. At some point, you have to grow up and take responsibility for what you do to other people.

 

Anyway, everybody's sharing their stories here so I thought I'd share mine, even so briefly. Thanks.

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etherealism

i know what you mean. the next day after my bf and i broke up i went out with my friend. it was her friend's birthday party. i met a guy. that girl's boyfriend's friend.

 

it seemingly reminded me of how i met my bf. a birthday party. every fiber of my being wanted to scream. i smiled. it was the alcohol.

 

to cut it short he kissed me. or tried to. but i sobered up fast. what was an eye candy distraction was an annoying loud bastard. he was the nemisis of my ex. the complete opposite. i compared everything. i missed my ex.

 

when i refused him and reminded him ... i'm "recently single"

 

the guy said "so?"

 

YES SINGLE AS IN 20 HOURS AGO!

 

i came home at 4am, put on one of my bf's hoodies, the one that I drown in that goes past my knees (he's 6'0-6'1 and i'm 5'2) ... told my mother the story of my evening and cried myself to sleep holding one of the stuffed animals he gave me.

 

... you never think the last kiss with your ex will be the last one. always thinking that there's plenty in store for the next day. and its been almost 3 months for me too ... :eek:

 

i'm not the kind of girl who goes through guys like a box of tampons. with the ex before my last relationship ... i was with him for 5 yrs. broke up once and got back together 8 months later. but i was never in love. i was in love with the idea of being in love. i realize that now in retrospect. i wanted it to be but it wasn't.

 

with my most recent relationship ... i fell in love. he was and is, the most unexpected pleasant surprise that has ever happened in my life. i should feel blessed that i experienced what i did with him, the things he's given to me ... i never thought would happen. i can't help but feel selfish demanding for more - for him to come back to me.

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okay, so the new guy - MY rebound guy - this is getting tricky.

 

really, I asked my lucky star for a cool cute nice fun guy to go out with to help me get over the "love of my life" and POOF he appeared. It was crazy! Like, how often does THAT happen?

 

And now? He's liking me way too much. Tonight we hung out for the third night in a week and I still feel like I'm so lucky to have met him to get me through this -- he's so cute, and nice, and REAL -- but now I'm going to have to really explain that that's all it is. I want a nice guy to hang out with and date, and he's already talking about our FUTURE.

 

Oh, no.

 

I could just do what my EX did, and let myself fall into it and tell him a bunch of stuff I know I'll take back later, but since I'm MATURE and RESPONSIBLE for other people's hearts and feelings, I won't do that.

 

Geez, this relationship *stuff* is tricky...

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