the_alchemyst Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 So, I'm here trying to write some stupid essay, and it's not like I'm in the mood after all that has been happening. I'm on my laptop with headphones on, listening to music, trying to stay awake . . . I left my yahoo messenger signed on since I was waiting for a friend. So, yeah . . . I'm typing away, when all of a sudden I get this from him: "check out <some stupid link I didn't bother to check> ! he makes me giggle! LMAO" WTF! I swear that's worse than that "hey." Ugh! I didn't even see him sign on. It's weird, though, because sometimes I'm talking to a mutual friend of ours, and he tells me he's talking with him, yet I don't see him online. At first I thought he had deleted me or something, but I guess he makes himself "invisible" whenever he feels like it. I have made myself "permanently invisible" from him, so I don't think he can actually see that I'm online, unless he figured out how, but then why would he even bother to hassle himself? I mean, come on! What the hell is that?! This is the second "contact" from him. The first was almost 2 weeks ago when he left some weird voice message, and how this bizarre crap. I have not gotten in touch with him at all. When I saw the IM, I read it, had a heart attack, didn't X it because I think it's sacred or something, and did not reply. Like I don't have enough to feel bad about. He left me! Why is he bugging me like that, especially after his little "don't call me, okay?" It's not like I was/am in the first place! But it's okay. He doesn't know I nearly die whenever I so much as hear his voice. So long as he doesn't know . . . PS: No, I am not going to block/delete him. No need. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Hey A- I'm beginning to prescribe to the idea that our (you and me and others here) exes are trying to wean themselves off of us slowly. This "mini contacts" are them trying to show interest in order to make US feel good, in order to make THEM feel less guilty. Well... I say no. Personally, I am still in no place to begin forgiving, and I'll be DAMNED if my actions help him walk away any easier than he already has. I think you're doing the right thing- he's trying to wean himself too. Just like the big babies a lot of men are, haha. Link to post Share on other sites
shelters Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Hey A- ...exes are trying to wean themselves off of us slowly. This "mini contacts" are them trying to show interest in order to make US feel good, in order to make THEM feel less guilty. Yeppers! I very much agree. I have my ex deleted off of my Instant Messenger... NOT blocked. So he can see me all he wants when I'm online, I just don't ever see his name when he is on... so no emotional rollercoaster over seeing him sign or sign off. My ex was reaching out in similar ways as yours- acting as if we were now buds or something. In the end I decided to put the boundary out there to him that NC was necessary. I didn't do it in a mean way by any means, and my ex is not a jerk so he understood. Link to post Share on other sites
Apathetic Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 When I saw the IM, I read it, had a heart attack, didn't X it because I think it's sacred or something, and did not reply. Oh wow..You say you didnt close out the IM b/c you thought it was "sacred" or something..I had to laugh at that because everytime my EX & I talk online,I save our conversations as if theyre something 'special'!... So I can totally relate to the "sacred" comment..sad isnt it? Link to post Share on other sites
shelters Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 I believe their efforts to make this casual contact is in hopes to 're-package' a situation (the breakup) we experience as a casualty. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_alchemyst Posted April 20, 2006 Author Share Posted April 20, 2006 I believe their efforts to make this casual contact is in hopes to 're-package' a situation (the breakup) we experience as a casualty. Hmm . . . what do you mean, shelters? And yeah, Kitten: I agree. Sometimes I feel like he's doing this so that I won't feel so bad--so that I'll feel he's still there in some way. Why? I don't think it's because he actually gives a f*** about what I feel (would we be in this situation if he really did?), but more because if he knows I "feel better" due to his crummy contact, he'll feel better because he won't feel guilty. Ugh. I hate him right now! Sometimes I really, really miss him, but at other times I really hate him! I mean, wtf? Stop it already, ya know? It's torture I don't need! Look--there he is online again. I mean, he made himself invisable before so that I wouldn't see him (I'm guess that he did this in order to make sure I didn't IM him), why is he making himself visible again/now? Ugh. Apathetic: Hehe. Yea, it is sad. I still have that stupid message saved. And what's even more stupid is that I will be clicking on his name from time to time in order to read the message he sent me. Omfg. It's so stupid! I would totally understand if we were "friends" or something because this is the type of thing you send a friend as some kind of joke. But we are not friends! We haven't spoken in over a month . . . I would not consider someone I used to speak to daily turned someone I haven't spoken with in a month a friend! He said he didn't want me calling him or looking for him and that he wasn't going to do so either, so why is he! AHH!! :mad: Link to post Share on other sites
Apathetic Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Yeah I know what you mean!..I have about 6 IM's saved & occasionally read them even though most are negative!! Its like I WANT to torture myself or something,its sick!! I mean were "friends" right now but that doesnt make it any less emotionally draining:mad: Link to post Share on other sites
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