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good seconds, bad seconds


goodbutch

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Ok I didnt really know what to put for the title in this thread. What I am refering to is one second I am ok and the next second I am crying.. this roller coster of emotions is making me tired. I try to to think of what she is doing or who she is with.. although I know the who part.. but sometimes it just slips into my mind.. the fact that she hurt me the way she did is the thing that stings the most. My heart feels low sometimes .. the worst I would say are mornings and nights.. I hate a empty bed. However I hate the lies more.. you know the lies that come out of the woodwork once they have left and you have your friends saying.. well I noticed this or I noticed that. It all hurts to hear but somehow I think is also helpful.. I have been living with her for the past year and a half so now I am not quite sure how to live with myself.. If that makes any sense. I know a hobby would be good but I am unsure of what I would want to do ... I am feeling quite lost and scattered right now and its quite scary. I dunno I know in time it will get better but it hasnt even been a week sense she left and went to the other girl.. im tired and just wanna feel whole again.. I dont think whole is the word but its the only thing I can think of.

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I have similar feelings. Sometimes I think "everything is going to be ok" and a few minutes later I can't seem to see through the dispair. I highly recommend working out. Go run, bike, ski, or do judo. Something to force your mind onto something else. The added benefit is that you'll be getting/keeping yourself in good shape for the next person to come along.

 

Good luck

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I can relate also. In one day I can go from pretty ok to crying... from having faith that as much as this sucks it is/will be for the best to replaying all the things I could have done differently in the relationship.

 

But there are other moments that keep me from getting too wrapped up in my sadness. For instance, on my tv right now is Michael J Fox talking about his Parkinson's Disease. Nothing like seeing someone battle with a health issue to keep my heartache in check.

 

Be gentle with yourself and your grieving process. I don't think there is any right or wrong way. Best of luck.

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