UT_longhorn Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Hey guys and gals. I hope everyone is doing as well as they possibly can. Its been 3.5 months for me and its one struggle after another but damn if I'm going to let this crush me. I've been on a project in Washington DC for the past month and I thought being in another city would help me heal, but instead it really made me a whole lot lonlier with no friends in the new city, its been tough to adjust. I realized the hardest thing to deal with about break ups is the finality of it. The tiny ounce of hope that there may be some sort of chance that things could work things out. Even if youe ex cheated and treated you horrible, you rationalize the second chance by saying "oh...maybe he/she has changed and will come back to me and we will go back to that good place we were in." even though logically it makes no sense, the heart will twist your thoughts. When I realized this, I wrote something to myself that is a word document in the center of my desktop named "read when feeling weak.doc". It helps me to push that seed of reconciliation out of my heart and get over some rough humps during the days. I just wanted to share it with you guys. It is a bit extreme but I think I need to be a bit extreme to snap myself out of it sometimes : Why do you still care for a girl who obviously doesn’t care for you? Accept the fact that the relationship is over, and we will not be getting back together again. Maintain No Contact, and do not check up on her, if you want to avoid pain. Why keep pining for a girl, who has already forgotten about you. You are better than that. You are going to push yourself to be the best man ever and not let this define who you are. You are young and you will experience so much more in life. The relationship is over. Accept it or keep feeling this way. She is not coming back. Listen to all your girl friends’ experiences, when a relationship is over…its over. What’s the use of looking back? What will that do for you? She doesn’t care for you anymore. She doesn’t think of you anymore. She’s not made one ounce of an effort to see how you are. You are not even in her mind…so why should you keep letting her into yours? The past is gone. You must look towards the future. What type of man will you be. Build yourself up with life experiences. In the grand scheme of things, this pain is small….and something you will get over. In time this shall pass. Don’t dwell on something which will do no good. She doesn’t think of you as a looser or a bad person, just someone that she didn’t work out with. But…remember, the relationship is over. It’s something that will never happen again. Don’t keep feeling for a girl that doesn’t have any feelings for you. That’s illogical and insane. She doesn’t care for you. She could care less if you disappeared into nothing. And that should drive you to push your feelings for her away. It is over. There is no chance at reconciliation. It is gone. She is a stranger now. Link to post Share on other sites
2020vision Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Giving up all hope can be devistating to think about, but it sets you free. Telling myself that I would never be with my ex again, and then actually believing it, changed me for the better. It is hard to deal with, but once you accept it, you will be much better off. You truley start living your life for you. It does seem quite harsh when reading it, however, sometimes you just need a kick in the head to make yourself snap out of it when you are having a weak moment! -2020 Link to post Share on other sites
sick of it Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 UT, i just wanted to say that youre a lucky one if she never calls or checks up. The finality shes giving you is a giant head start. My ex would call me and try to be nice and all it did was give false hope....HOPE is what keeps us in the spot we're in. Youll get through this. PS 2020- Thats a great picture Link to post Share on other sites
2020vision Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Very well said! You are sooo much better off that you are not dealing with an attention needy prick (sorry had to vent for a moment!) like I had to...It just totally screws you up. PS 2020- Thats a great picture Thx! Link to post Share on other sites
Author UT_longhorn Posted April 15, 2006 Author Share Posted April 15, 2006 sick...i do agree that her not contacting me is not raising my hopes and prolonging my pain and for that i am thankful. but also, the fact that she could turn her back to me and never look back is also a painful thought. someone i love so much still, doesn't care even to see how i am. i don't know which is worse sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
WeaknPowerless Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 but also, the fact that she could turn her back to me and never look back is also a painful thought. someone i love so much still, doesn't care even to see how i am. i don't know which is worse sometimes. 3 Libras - A Perfect Circle --- Regarding the entire thread: I'm nearly at 5 months and for some reason, that kicked me in the gut the other day. 5 months is a long time, granted it hasn't felt that long. But I'm getting to the point now where I gotta start looking at myself and ask "How long am I going to keep this up?". I'm sure by now she rarely even thinks about me, it's going to be moving onto half a year. I got very sad thinking that, but then again, it should be this gigantic indicator. This has been far and away the longest and most painful trip for me, and I think that fact caught me by surprise. Link to post Share on other sites
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