wahaha1 Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have been going to this forum for a while back in Nov 05, then I thought I have gotten over the no contact period since then..., now, I am back to the forum again. Seeking for help. We had brief contact since breakup, but basically I thought I have moved on, I have my new bf. Last month, ex re-intiated contact by emailing me saying he missed me tons, asking for getting back together. I told him that I was moving on and left me alone. Then he disappeared. This week, I found out a news from my friend, that my ex has married last month. I am so shocked, so shocked. I feel that my heart start to bleed again. I emailed him, telling him about my feeling and gave him a closure statement. At the end of the statement, I asked if we can be friends. He replied back and I could see that he still had feeling on me. If he were cold like a stone, I think I can move on very quick..., now, I know I should not have more feeling for him.., but memories flood to my mind and I cannot stop blaming myself for letting him go. I thought I have given up..., but my feel grows much stronger now. I am a big loser. I thought I can give up..., but how come this is happening?? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Two words: He's Married!! Link to post Share on other sites
Vertex Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I'd go into no-contact mode as soon as possible until you move into the next stage of your life where you don't need him. He's married and getting involved at this point would only cause more pain and issues. Let time take care of things if you ever want to talk to this guy again without this situation reoccurring. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Rest assured I'll see you back on this forum when he gets in touch with you after separating/divorcing his new wife. 5 months and he's already married?! Be glad it wasn't you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wahaha1 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Share Posted April 14, 2006 Rest assured I'll see you back on this forum when he gets in touch with you after separating/divorcing his new wife. 5 months and he's already married?! Be glad it wasn't you. You are so right!! I think part of my sorrow is from my jealousy as he seems to live a better live than me. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 You are so right!! I think part of my sorrow is from my jealousy as he seems to live a better live than me. You know what they say -- the best revenge is a life well-lived. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 You know what they say -- the best revenge is a life well-lived. B_0, you've got that exactly right Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 B_0, you've got that exactly right That way you get the simultaneous satisfaction of knowing your ex is jealous of you, and also having a really great time. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 That way you get the simultaneous satisfaction of knowing your ex is jealous of you, and also having a really great time. You are not serious right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wahaha1 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Share Posted April 14, 2006 That way you get the simultaneous satisfaction of knowing your ex is jealous of you, and also having a really great time. I don't hate him at all, maybe there is a satisfaction to know that he is jealous on me, but I guess we had enough tortures on each other, and I understand the feeling if I were him. Also, he should not be the primary motivation for me to live a better life, rather, I have to do this for my own good. I just want to keep this friend. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Why do you want to be friends with an ex? Would your BF appreciate this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wahaha1 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Share Posted April 14, 2006 Why do you want to be friends with an ex? Would your BF appreciate this? To be frank, I am still sorting this out... Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 When he married the other woman, he sealed your relationship forever. He contacted you and could've told you he was getting married, but if you wanted him, he would get back together with you. But he only felt like telling you that he missed you. Missing is not loving. He probably had a fight with his GF (or was drunk) and felt like emailing you. If he were the one, he would've been with you now, not married to another girl only five months after you broke up. This guy is bad news and given the feelings you have for him, you just can't be friends without ending up in bed, which would give you the "honorable" title of his official mistress. Is that what you want? Feelings come and go, but time is precious and shouldn't be wasted on men like him. Forget him and move on. Keep NC. BTW, who broke up, you or him? And why? Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 You are so right!! I think part of my sorrow is from my jealousy as he seems to live a better live than me. He is not living a better life. Just a different one. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Here's a random thought: Imagine YOU are his wife and he is pursuing another gal behind your back immediately after marriage... would you feel secure and as if this is for long term? Be grateful he did you a favor by not marrying you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author wahaha1 Posted April 15, 2006 Author Share Posted April 15, 2006 Long story, I had a bf before, this guy was another man (also LDR). I had been together with this guy for 1+ years, daily emails, phone calls. I loved him so much but one day after an argument, I gave him a pride talking to ask him to move on as he was always breaking his promise and I lose security. After some time, he told me that he found another gal, and the gal proposed to him for marriage, and I was cracked. I told him my true feeling and let him to decide between us. He told me that I should tell him earlier about my feel and he needed time to think. At the same time, I broke up with my bf, that was last Nov. He contacted me several times after that but I was so hurted to talk to him, but I promised to find him when I got back home in xmas. Well, I didn't make it, I was so scared to find out the truth or to create more memories with him in case I lose him. Then I tried hard to move on, a new bf, move to a new place etc.., life goes well in a couple of months, even last month, when he re-init contact and told me missing me tons. I could tell he wanted to know my feeling, but I kept telling him that I was living good and everything was great without him. Also, I asked him to leave me alone. This week, I found out his marriage news, I am lost. I am totally messed up. I was cheating myself and now this is my penalty. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 I told him my true feeling and let him to decide between us. He told me that I should tell him earlier about my feel and he needed time to think. What?!?!?! You're crying over a guy who couldn't decide between you and another girl?!?!? Since when is that true love? Can't you see that he chose HER? CAN'T YOU SEE HOW SUPERFICIAL HE IS ABOUT HIS FEELING THAT HE'S EVEN ABLE TO MARRY SOMEONE AFTER DATING THEM FOR A FEW MONTHS WHILE NOT BEING SURE WHOM HE REALLY WANTS? (sorry about the caps... too lazy to correct them now) Link to post Share on other sites
Author wahaha1 Posted April 15, 2006 Author Share Posted April 15, 2006 Right, I think I am just having post breakup syndrome..., grieving about the guy that I have already decided he was not suitable for me. Maybe this is just human nature that I don't want to give up thing that I owned before. Actually, I have made my decision too (when I got a new bf and moved to a new place). He was a pain in my s and I should be glad to get him out of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
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