Zeppelin456 Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Hi. I haven't been here in a while now because I felt I didn't need this wonderful site's support anymore (everyone was very helpful right after my breakup) but things seem bleak at the moment. I dated a girl for almost two years...we were as close as I can imagine people being at age 18...we went cross country together and by the end of the relationship, spent all of our time together, which probably was part of the problem. I'm not going to delve into why it failed again but it has to do with college and with seperate lives; we go to school 30 minutes away from one another via train so it's not impossible to keep a relationship up. We tried it first semester and it didn't work out, she dumped me. I suffered alot and went through periods of intense misery, but I started going to counseling and put myself on what basically amounted to NC (closer to very very very little contact) and I started to feel better. Obviously, things go up and down, but in general, up until about last week, I'd been feeling better about things. During spring break, I even got my courage up to kiss somebody else, and it felt good! I thought I had broken free...alas, for a week now, she's been on my mind again. I'm a freelance recording engineer in my spare time and I've been putting alot of time into recording my friend Spencer's album...this week we were discussing his album art and I reccomended my ex girlfriend, simply because she's an unbelievable visual artist. I don't really know...it's just like she's been back on my mind recently and I just want to be free of this. For some reason, I still can't handle seeing pictures of her...hearing her new voicemail message today upset me...it's been 4, 4 and a half months since we broke up (trying not to keep track) and I just want to be free again. I think when it comes down to it, I've answered my own woes already: it's ONLY been four months and I obviously need more time. Additionally, like I said, things go up and down and right now is a down period. Essentially, I just needed to type this all out and put it out there. I guess the question that remains for me is what have I tangibly taken out of this relationship? While I was in it, I took pictures and wrote things down and my ex girlfriend gave me art she did and I thought "Even if it ends, I'll still have these things." But in practice, I can't LOOK at these pictures or art or writing or whatever without feeling awful. SO all I have is a load of heartache, a ton of memories that hurt, and a box of art and letters that I can't read. I don't know. I can't think about this too much more. I thought I was beyond this but I'm back down in the dumps again. Anyways, thanks for reading my rambling incoherent thoughts! Link to post Share on other sites
kypepeo Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Thank God I'm not the only one going through this. I also broke up with my ex about three months ago and I can't seem to get past him. I think I've moved on and a week later I'm back to missing him like crazy. I know that what I'm about to say might not apply to you but for me. I'm convinced that he's the one. He's my future and I'm not going to let him go that easily. Currently, we talk very little. I'm giving him space to sort himself out. We'll see how it goes. All the best with you though Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zeppelin456 Posted April 10, 2006 Author Share Posted April 10, 2006 thanks...about what you said about yourself, I have a friend who's going through the same thing. she believes that her ex boyfriend is the ONE for her, that they are meant to be married, etc etc etc...her ex boyfriend has been my good friend my whole life and has repeatedly told me in confidence that he is JUST NOT INTERESTED anymore. it's a sad sad fact. even he thinks it's sad but these things aren't necesarily concious decisions. I simply have to tell my pining friend that if it was meant to be, then they'd be together and that by concentrating on somebody who doesn't want her, she's going to miss out on all of the people that will. maybe the same goes for you too? Link to post Share on other sites
kypepeo Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 yeah, sometimes I think that it applies to me as well. I guess I'm just not ready to let him go. I hav to work on that and somday soon, I hope that the situation will resolve itslf. I know about missing out on other people and all but it's just so hard to get past him. I've never been like this before, i'm usually the "strong indpendent woman' type but he took me completely by surprise. Thanks though Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zeppelin456 Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 no i totally get ya there. i'm not sure what makes some relationships harder to get over than others, but there's something to it. Link to post Share on other sites
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