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Hello Everyone. It's been awhile since I posted here, so i'll give you the rundown. My ex an I split up on Jan 3rd after a 2-1/2 year relationship, which devistated me. Needless to say I was the dumpee.

 

I have been doing much better as of late...

 

My social life is slowly returning to normal, and my confidence level has improved also. At first, I did all of the wrong things... I begged her back, called her constantly, drove by her dorm just to see if she was there. We have spoken a couple of times since the breakup, even to the point of her coming over and hanging out briefly, just catching up on things. We agreed to be friends, and I have accepted that, Even though I realize that I am not 100% completely over her.

 

Until one day I called just to say hi, and she ignored my phone calls. I don't understand how we can go from being casual friends to nothing at all. Why did she even bother coming back around if she's just going to ignore me now?

 

A few days ago, I decided to stop calling her all together, as it hurts to be ignored. I don't know if I am ready to be friends with her right now, but I am so afraid that I'll never talk to her again. When I get the urge to call her... I stop myself, because I know it will only make things worse for me. I just don't want to lose her from my life completely. I would rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. Sometimes, I really believe she hates me, but other times I wonder if she's thinking of me too. When do you know if you are ready to be friends with someone you used to love. It's killing me thinking about never seeing her again, but she threw it all away, so why should I care, right? Just had to get it out, because my mind is going in a thousand different directions right now.

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you cannot be friends with an ex until you have no urge to call them. Youll notice this when all of a sudden a month has gone by without you thinking of them. It doesn't matter how long this takes. Until that time, anything that they do, especially meeting someone else, will destroy you. Dont hurt yourself, just treat them like they dont exist and never were a part of your life. Otherwise youll be like me, 6 months down the road and still in a world of sh%it.

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Not contacting her at the moment is the best way to give yourself a chance at being friends in the future. Really.

 

 

Right now, the fact that she's ignored your phone calls hurts you. Would you feel the same way if another friend had done that? No? Then your feelings towards her aren't those of a "friend" - but much more than that.

 

 

You'll be ready to be friends with her when you can feel and treat her like no more than one of your other friends. A close, special friend, maybe, but a friend nevertheless. Until that day comes, this friendship is just going to hurt you.

 

Trying to "look forward" to that day while passing the time doesn't work either - I'm struggling with the same situation but hey, do as I say and not as I do ;)

 

 

 

Stay strong... hope things get better for you soon.

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