shamen Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Today is a sad day. I truly can not almost even believe it. It's too f*cking bizarre. Someone that I've known for years, not known well, was shot and killed yesterday. It's kind of like you think that no one you know can ever be shot. I've witnessed a couple of things in this fair city, but god, somehow you just don't think that it's going to be someone that YOU know. I live in a city with one of the highest per capita murder rates in the country, guess I shouldn't be too surprised that someday I would know someone... I'm stunned. Almost don't even know what to say. I don't really feel like talking to my friends on the phone. It's weird, I mean, I didn't even really know this person that well. But we've talked on and off for years. Knew him well enough to have his phone number though. Almost don't feel like I have the right to be sad or cry about it because we weren't close. But I do feel sad and I have cried anyway. I had to call a few of his close friends for another friend because she's so upset right now... Not a job that I relished, but I knew that it was the right thing to do for her. I think that talking to her is what made me cry, because she's so upset. Again, I'm stunned. Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawks Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I feel your sadness Shamen. Even though you weren't close he was a human being and NO ONE had the right to erase his life. How someone can think they can take the life of someone is beyond reason and out of my realm of understanding. Just remember that we are thinking of you and your friends and if you need support or just a shoulder to grieve don't hesitate to tell us. God Speed... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted August 20, 2005 Author Share Posted August 20, 2005 Thanks, Jayhawks. I agree. The whole shooting somebody I just DO NOT GET! Why do people shoot other people? Can someone explain this to me? I mean, I hear about shootings every day on the news, it's just that now, I'm one of the many people who knows him. I've gotten so desensitized to it, that all of the murders just sort of wash over me know when I watch the news. Somehow I think that I'm going to feel it a little more now. I'm going to remember that for every one of the people who get murdered, there are all kinds of people out there feeling the pain of that person's death... Link to post Share on other sites
Blackfrost Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I understand your feeling too Shamen. A long time coworker friend of mine just died about 2 months ago (struck by lighting in Pheonix, Arizona) and was in this daze for about a couple days. Wanted to talk to my other friends about it, but none of them knew this guy, as he and I were friends for years in my old career path, not my current one. It definitely reminded me of how mortal we all are, and that one minute you can see your wife and children, and in the next it could all be gone. Link to post Share on other sites
april Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Well I am unable to provide you with stats, but stuff like that doesn't happen with such frequency here, in Canada. I can well imagine what his family (and you, his friend) are feeling right now. This is just WRONG. Link to post Share on other sites
lostinmymind Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 I know how you feel. One of my highschool classmates hung himself about 7 months ago. Although I didn't know him, it was still really shocking and disturbing. It's such a tragic mistake when someone kills themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted August 21, 2005 Author Share Posted August 21, 2005 Originally posted by Blackfrost I understand your feeling too Shamen. A long time coworker friend of mine just died about 2 months ago (struck by lighting in Pheonix, Arizona) and was in this daze for about a couple days. Wanted to talk to my other friends about it, but none of them knew this guy, as he and I were friends for years in my old career path, not my current one. It definitely reminded me of how mortal we all are, and that one minute you can see your wife and children, and in the next it could all be gone. TX Blackfrost, I've been feeling so weird today. It's kind of hard to explain. Having to tell 4 people that I knew that cared about this guy made me feel worse. I just didn't want someone that didn't know them to tell them, or them to hear it through the grapevine. And I was asked by my friend to let 1 of them know. It was hard. I mean, there are friends of mine who knew him, lots of them, and I told one of my good friends who knew him well that I would go with him to the viewing. It's going to be so sad. I don't like to get together with my extended group of friends for this sort of thing, but I know that it'll make me feel better if I went. I also know that it's impt. for me to go for my friend. Not sure why this is hard to talk about with my friends right now. I think that you are right about the "in a daze" thing. I feel way more mortal than I did yesterday. All of the problems that I have in my life right now just don't seem quite so big... Originally posted by april Well I am unable to provide you with stats, but stuff like that doesn't happen with such frequency here, in Canada. I can well imagine what his family (and you, his friend) are feeling right now. This is just WRONG. Thank you, April. Sometimes I wonder if we'd be better off in the States if we didn't have the right to carry firearms. The whole lunacy thing of it gets to me. Originally posted by lostinmymind I know how you feel. One of my highschool classmates hung himself about 7 months ago. Although I didn't know him, it was still really shocking and disturbing. It's such a tragic mistake when someone kills themselves. It is indeed. Somebody dying that you know is shocking. I had a friend die when I was 20, one of my best friends, so this isn't the first time that I've dealt with someone my own age dying around me. It's the idea of him getting shot, I can picture it in my mind. It just hurts. He didn't deserve it, he had a whole lot of time left around him to live. And some a**hole took it away from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted August 22, 2005 Author Share Posted August 22, 2005 Feeling really crappy about this today... Woke up at 4:30 am and I couldn't get back to sleep. I've been having nightmares ever since this happened so my sleep hasn't been real restful anyway. Saw a bunch of people yesterday who knew him well. Talked to several too on the phone. I'm feeling a bit of a wreck and I have to go to work today and I have to pretend that everything is OK. It really sux. I'm just tired and I wish that I could go back to sleep, or be with my friends right now. What's making this thing so hard is dealing with all of the people who knew him well. It's making it sadder because they are all in such pain. I wish that I could do something more for them. But I also know that really all that I can do is be there for them... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted August 24, 2005 Author Share Posted August 24, 2005 I just have to vent a little bit... tonight I visited some more friends after seeing one in particular last night. It's been a hard few days. I am looking forward to the day and a half that I have off to deal with this. To hang out, get stupid, be who I need to be for a couple of days and just talk to people that knew him. To be around people that need me. It's weird. I've spent so much time worrying about my friends and stuff that I really haven't spent a lot of time thinking about what I needed to get over this. I'm hoping that at the viewing and at the funeral that I can get the closure on this that I need. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 I'm sooo sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted August 26, 2005 Author Share Posted August 26, 2005 Thank you. It's been some of the toughest days of my life the last 6 days. Today was the funeral. Some of my friends waited around for the dirt throwing on the grave. Ouch. Basically I've been the girl that has been there for all of my friends for the last week. Am really looking forward to the weekend... Link to post Share on other sites
Dean3922 Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Being with friends at this time is very important. Just sit around and remember the times in your life with him. I did this when my dad died and it really was helpful and it helps keep them with you. If we keep the memory of them with us we keep them alive... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted August 26, 2005 Author Share Posted August 26, 2005 Thank you, Dean. Believe me, there's been tons of talk about him the last 6 days or so. Especially in the last two... I'm really so very tired today. I think that I am going to hang out with other people tonight, people that didn't know him. At least for a while. Then I will go visit the friends that knew him later. I just feel like I need a little break from it. I'm just drained emotionally from being support girl. I know that I've done what I've needed to do for my friends that were close to him, but I'm just exhausted from it. Link to post Share on other sites
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