NTYCE Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 it hurts so much, my girlfriend said to me today that she doesnt know whats going on with us, she can see us breaking up naturally, what does that mean to you guys? i keep thinking about this and it hurts so much, has she just giving up? im trying so hard to make this work, i know ive havnt been the best boyfriend, but i am trying... yeh i do love her and i dont want to lose her, but she is hurting me deeply especially tonight. what do i do now? i tried my best to make things work, but then she turns around telling me this. what do i do now? i dont want to lose her.. not for anything. but im slowly dying... Link to post Share on other sites
mujeep Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 I know what you are going through. The key is you are not broken up yet and there is a chance you can still save things. If I had the chance to do it all over again, I would have sought professional help from a licensed relationship counselor (PhD). It may be expensive, but I know it is worth it. It shows that you care and I've heard its highly effective. There are actually relationship centers in my area. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 Oooh this sucks. This is where I was 6 months ago. And here's the advice I should have received. If she is willing to go for counselling, all well and good. Otherwise, you need to take a big step back. Don't just sit there and suck it up. And don't "fight for the relationship" by being ultra-clingy. Right now she is experimenting with the idea of a break-up. The longer it goes with her feeling safe and secure that she's got you around as back-up, the better she will feel about it and the more likely she is to do it. So say that you disagree, but you respect her feelings. Chuck her out of your bed, refuse to see or speak to her for at least 3-4 days. Say after that you needed to get your feelings in order. Gear up for the possibility of break-up - stop thinking about her and the relationship, start thinking about you and your future. Get out, see friends, plan your future. Be strong and confident. As long as she is still uncertain, keep your distance. No sex. No looking after her. No sucking up to her. Low emotional contact. This sudden shock is the most likely way you have of retaining her. But it's not certain. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
sanne Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 all good points romeo but your suggestions are merely bandaids for the bigger problem at hand. say he does all of this and she comes back to him, what's to stop this from happening again in another month? the answer is nothing. the only real solution is for the both of you to spend time apart from each other and to experience other relationships. if you both decide that you really love each other and that the two are meant to be together then things will work out as you want them. no amount of games will fix this kind of a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by NTYCE she can see us breaking up naturally Wish I knew what the hell that meant... Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 All I can say is that you can't make someone love you. It will hurt but in time you will feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Wish I knew what the hell that meant... I see that as meaning "mutually" Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by sanne all good points romeo but your suggestions are merely bandaids for the bigger problem at hand. say he does all of this and she comes back to him, what's to stop this from happening again in another month? Agreed. My advice is the first step in various possible scenarios. And I agree they're not all happy. I still feel my advice is the best way to go, even if they're no-win situations. the only real solution is for the both of you to spend time apart from each other and to experience other relationships. This is possible too. I hope it doesn't come to this, but yes, it may be necessary. no amount of games will fix this kind of a problem. Here I disagree. Being more confident, secure and not taking crap from a girl is a worthy goal in its own right, not a romantic tactic or game. Link to post Share on other sites
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