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Having a rough morning


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Today is been a rough day so far. My mind is all over the place. I posted on here a few days ago and you guys have helped me kind of understand what happened with my ex regarding his post divorce reboundings per se. Maybe I should have known something was weird when him and his ex wife started following each other on social media again before we broke up.

 

I know we weren’t together very long. I feel pretty stupid honestly for letting myself get wrapped up and falling for how fast he moved the relationship along. I mean I was at his house probably 5-6 days a week eventually barely going to my house. Problem is that with time I fell for him. I have felt love before when I was younger but this felt much stronger for me. I have come back from heartbreak before but this one is a lot more difficult. I think what makes it worse is not only that it was real for me but how someone could just distance themselves suddenly and completely switch on you, how they can lie to you, how they can just delete you from their life like it was nothing, how they can get into another relationship so fast. I know he technically didn’t owe me anything; well no one owes me anything. Am I over reacting to feel this is a bit messed up even cruel? Everyone goes through grueling heartbreaks and comes out from it so I know that I can do it but some days are still much worse than others for me.

 

I feel as if sometimes I looked pathetic and weak to him because I let it all out and was honest about how I felt with things and he lied to me about moving away. Also, the fact of not knowing if he meant anything he said while dumping me, which at this point I highly doubt. They were probably crocodile tears. This actually eats at me a lot because I am still reeling and he doesn’t even care. He told me, “You’re only the second person I’ve loved, only person I care about, I hated hurting you, I want you to be happy, you did make me happy don’t ever doubt that, I shouldn’t have said all those things but I did mean it I never lied to you, I don’t want to date anyone for awhile, I want you to move for you.” I also told him if I date again I would have walls up and he responded with, “good, you should.”

 

His roommate actually wrote me like a month ago out of the blue and told me I need to get over him. He told me that I shouldn’t put my energy into someone who isn’t giving me an ounce of his, that he wouldn’t have done that to someone, etc. I know I shouldn’t but it doesn’t feel that easy. I don’t know if a part of this is my own ego on top of being heartbroken. It just sucks feeling like his feelings weren’t even real for him and my irrational thoughts go to oh well maybe he is just fine and healed now and he is serious about her and left me in the dust. Maybe she is everything that I’m not. She’s in med school and I’m only an accountant.

 

Maybe I’m immature but I can’t help that this still bothers me. I’ve been on a few dates and I still think of him. Then I get upset that he already moved on to someone else. The only things that help me is working or working out. I’m not really sure what else to do. Sorry this isn’t very well put together. I think I miss that person he was until he became distant.

Edited by Ko0519
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Yes, some days are terrible, I used to have several triggers, I dreamt about her still searched for her face in every girl I saw, but some days were great, no thoughts.

I did come to realize, this is how the mind plays on us, and you can not erase this memories in totality, they will come , you have to accept it, and try as much as possible not to ruminate.

 

Doubting what he said and the relationship might be coming from a place of anger or broken ego, as you can imagine you won't be saying this things if you were together, you won't make all these analyses.

 

It was 5months as I remember, as I have come to realize, these relationships are very intense and thus hard to wear off, to be honest, I still miss my ex-gf and it's been 6 months now , she and her new boyfriend seem to be moving on, and I realized I should do the same, try to accept this breakup, and believe in the fact that with time you will be okay

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How does his roommate know that you are struggling getting over this guy? I'm sure this guy did mean the things he said to you at the time he said them but he obviously wasn't over his ex wife and maybe was forcing his feelings for you. Break ups are hard and rejection is very hard for women. It will take time but you will find love again.

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How does his roommate know that you are struggling getting over this guy? I'm sure this guy did mean the things he said to you at the time he said them but he obviously wasn't over his ex wife and maybe was forcing his feelings for you. Break ups are hard and rejection is very hard for women. It will take time but you will find love again.

 

I think he saw a poetry quote I reposted on Facebook and that is what sparked him to message me. He actually messaged me again asking how my Valentine’s Day was which seemed kind of weird. I think he meant what he said to me at the time regarding how he felt to an extent during the relationship. Regarding what he said during the breakup I think was a bunch of lies and that hurts. Like who lies about moving and breaking up now before it gets better between us? It sucks feeling like I was good enough then all of a sudden I wasn’t and it feels like pity lies is what I got at the end. I told him it felt like he took my heart and just threw it in the trash cause honestly that’s how it felt to me. But I also feel like I looked weak to him for it. How is it so easy for him to just go into another relationship?

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Yes, some days are terrible, I used to have several triggers, I dreamt about her still searched for her face in every girl I saw, but some days were great, no thoughts.

I did come to realize, this is how the mind plays on us, and you can not erase this memories in totality, they will come , you have to accept it, and try as much as possible not to ruminate.

 

Doubting what he said and the relationship might be coming from a place of anger or broken ego, as you can imagine you won't be saying this things if you were together, you won't make all these analyses.

 

It was 5months as I remember, as I have come to realize, these relationships are very intense and thus hard to wear off, to be honest, I still miss my ex-gf and it's been 6 months now , she and her new boyfriend seem to be moving on, and I realized I should do the same, try to accept this breakup, and believe in the fact that with time you will be okay

 

Yes he is still in my dreams sometimes! I wake up and get anxiety a lot. Idk I think this is really cruel to tell someone all these things and to just switch and cut them out of your life. No matter how common it is it’s crushing and cruel. You know in all honesty the hardest part is not only the lies but that my fear is that he is going to commit to the new girlfriend. I’m not sure if that’s a common thought in situations like this. I know it doesn’t seem like he’s healed from his divorced especially with the emotional flip flopping and quickness of both relationships. Your ex did the same thing right?

 

I remember the messages he used to send telling me he was all in and I’m the kindest person ever and how lucky he was but now him telling me how im the nicest person he’s ever dated just feels like a slap in the face. Obviously I’m a very sensitive person lol. I also remember a comment he made once and how irritated he was after seeing multiple people post engagement posts on social media.

Edited by Ko0519
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