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Not feeling so Zen....Any thoughts appreciated


UltimateZen

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UltimateZen

Just need to get my thoughts in order. I am getting married in 7 weeks and both my fiance's family and my family are very close and treat one another; in fact it is as if we were one big family. Everything is going extremely well and everyone is as happy as can be.....with one minor issue: there is a chance that my fiance's mother has a relapse of cancer. The test results are going to be back very shortly (before the wedding). As much as her mother would like to keep it to herself she talks to my mom and she will undoubtably tell her what the results are. And of course it will get back to me and thus to my future wife as we tell each other everything. Knowing our family we will all sit down together and talk this through. If the test comes back positive; we cannot help but have this news in the back of our minds and it will be very sad. No sense in worrying about it now until we get the test back, but easier said than done.

 

My thoughts are to move forward, keeping the momentum of the excitement whcih will not only be good for my fiance and I, but her mother as well. I know we are going to be having a wonderful wedding, but I am afraid of dark clouds ahead. I am not one to use the word 'afraid' because it is rarely that I ever feel that way; but the loss of someone so close so soon after the wedding is unnerving. It just goes to show that life has a tendancy to take these sharp turns to throw you off balance. Fortunately I am a very balanced person; but one can never prepare for the worst.

 

Anyone out there go through/are in a similar situation?

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If you're religious, PRAY.

 

It might bring you the results you're wishing for, it might not. It should make you feel at ease.

 

Take time out for YOU. And her of course. :love:

 

Get away. Just you and her. Picnic, spa, anything.

 

Good luck!

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My best friend got married less than a year ago. I was the best man in his wedding. Very similar to you about 6 weeks before the wedding his mom was diagnosed with cancer and they said that she needed to start chemo immediately. He was devastated and it was very hard for him to focus on the wedding and what was supposed to be a great day and beginning of new a chapter in his life.

 

I sat with him and his mother as she tried reassure him that everything was going to be fine and that he needed to be there for his bride to be and not let what was happening take away from such a positive thing. The chemo caused her hair to start falling out and she had to cut it very short by the time the wedding came along. But she was at the wedding and was all smiles and most would have not even known what she was going through because she was very strong for her son. She didn't let what was going on with her take away from their wedding.

 

It has been almost a year and the chemo has seemed to rid her of her cancer. My best friend could have fallen apart and let this ruin such a positive and great moment in his life. But do so would have only made his mother feel even worse. You have to be strong and stay positive for you soon to be wife's mother. Be your fiance's support and rock so that you can both encourage your future mother-n-law that she will beat this and be around to see her grandchildren. It is a scary thing but it can be beaten. Your part and role is to be strong and stay positive. Don't let you fiance's mother think for a second that she ruin your wedding or causing any problems because it will only make her feel worse. I truly believe that beating cancer is not just a matter of medicine but also keeping a positive flow of energy through out your body and being. Keep the positive vibes flowing no matter how hard it gets. Hang in there and I wish the best of luck.

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UltimateZen

Thanks for the words of encouragement. It is difficult, but these are the sort of curveballs that life throws to us. Just need to hit a homerun with this one.

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Make it the best day you can possibly make it for her sake! If she's not ill again, it'll be a celebration. Even if she is ill again, people defeat cancer all the time and this positive happy event will cheer her and do her a huge amount of good.

 

You could get hit by a bus tomorrow. People die on you when you least expect it. The lady could outlive all of you. So don't live in fear - live in enthusiasm.

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