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FU internet


Inafishbowl

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I'm in NC since last October.

Our relationship ended in June and she moved across the US.

I made it thru the holidays without breaking NC.

Lately I've been getting emails from different companies about events we attended last year at this time.

I sent her flowers last Jan a year ago.

Sure enough I get an email saying last year you sent V flowers on this date. I get reminders about a trip we took in late Feb from hotels we stayed at and the airline we used.

Just a rant but FU internet, I don't need your help. Lol

On a more serious note, it does still mess with your mind to get blindsided with a memory or trigger out of the blue.

I still love her but know it won't work. Stay strong and carry on.

Edited by Inafishbowl
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I got curious and looked up an old flame last night on FB. Hot damn, what did I see? A post. a couple of weeks after she left me. 3 years I'll tell ya. 3 wonderful years. When she left she told me that it's because she didn't want to be a mother to my kids, she didn't want the responsibility since hers were all grown up. She could be selfish in the sorts. She told me her kids never thought we were a good match anyway. Not only did she leave me with lies to my face, she left me with $400 of CC debt, she left my house a huge mess when she gathered her things, she left me with anger. Anger I was lied too and anger I believed in her and made sacrifices for her.

 

My point here is with out the social media, I'd probably never would have known the truth to it all. She left me for another guy.

 

Good buy financial headache, good bye health problems you won't do anything about, good bye person who claims values and morals, good bye lies, good buy forever.

 

Sometimes we find out just in the nick of time that the person we cared for so deeply was never worth anything to start with.

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I blocked her on all social media a long time ago. Deleted all the pictures I had, for my own good.

I have snooped online occasionally in moments of weakness to see if I can find anything about her. Luckily she is very private and only has a few social media profiles. She has them locked up pretty well.

 

I'm happy that I'm at the point where I can sort of laugh at the emails from companies just trying to generate business.

 

Delete and keep on living my life.

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Yeah, unfortunately data mining is part of modern electronic networked life.

 

Long down the road from breakup/divorce angst I find the occassional fishing e-mail from vendors or even random contacts from my exW to be excellent tests of emotional moving on. The needle doesn't budge anymore. Heck it's hard to get it to budge with a new person. I think divorce and death killed something in me. Perhaps your reaction to these random contacts is a good sign, a sign that you're still engaged with the game, the relationship game. It all depends how you choose to view the reality.

 

Myself, all the vendors who are problems like that I add to the spam folder and/or remove myself from their mailing and customer lists and don't do business with them anymore. The biggest vendor I do business with online, Amazon, never fishes at all. Nothing. Just order and shipping confirmations and, like the other day, a human speedily contacted me when they sent me someone else's order.

 

The darker side of the internet is its disconnected from humanity nature and the way humans feel justified in interacting on it. That part really scares me. Good reason to give it the finger and just shut it off. Good luck in your healing.

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