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Saw his new girl leave his place - lost it!


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 22nd January 2018, 7:25 PM   #16
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you all sound quite young

so if you are all under 30, my two cents is that girl number 3 will turn up, then girl 4...

see his pattern? the leaver

he might like your child a lot, people like tots
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Old 22nd January 2018, 7:37 PM   #17
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He would have been a jerk if he had not acknowledged your three year old doll
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:24 PM   #18
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He didn't acknowledge you. He said hello to your child as she was standing infront of him. He was being kind to the child rather than ignore her. I think you're getting too twisted over nothing. The next time you see him, act normal.
She didn't say anything to him. I did act normal.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:33 PM   #19
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She didn't say anything to him. I did act normal.
And that's fine. He acknowledged a little kid standing infront of him. That's all it is. I'm not sure how he disrespected your NC.

Most times when you're angry, you tend to magnify and pick at things. Let it go. Expect that you'll run into him again and when he does acknowledge you, you can then ignore him or reinforce your NC terms.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:34 PM   #20
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He would have been a jerk if he had not acknowledged your three year old doll
You think so?

I think he could have smiled at her without speaking
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:35 PM   #21
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I expressly communicated not to acknowledge me in public. Why did he say hi to her????
Your request is unreasonable. You can & should be civil when you bump into each other. A tight smile & a curt nod is all that is required but to ignore causes more problems.

As for the child, what was he supposed to do? He greeted a toddler who was standing in front him begging for him to acknowledge her. If he did anything else he could have damaged her young formative psyche. It's bad enough to get broken up with as an adult. Don't you dare suggest that your needs are greater than those of a developing child. Be grateful that he seems to be handling this maturely which is more than I can say for you.

You really need to get a grip. If you don't, you are going to turn your kid into a paranoid nut who is a afraid of her own shadow & who has no self esteem. Do not drag a 3 year old into your unnecessary adult drama.

Here's a thought: once you saw him at the outdoor café you could have gone to a different café.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:35 PM   #22
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And that's fine. He acknowledged a little kid standing infront of him. That's all it is. I'm not sure how he disrespected your NC.

Most times when you're angry, you tend to magnify and pick at things. Let it go. Expect that you'll run into him again and when he does acknowledge you, you can then ignore him or reinforce your NC terms.
She's with me, she's my kid. He didn't have to say anything. He could have smiled.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:38 PM   #23
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You think so?

I think he could have smiled at her without speaking
Yes I do think so.
Would it have made a difference if he just smiled?
Do you think he stood there and calculated if he should speak or smile?
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:41 PM   #24
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She's with me, she's my kid. He didn't have to say anything. He could have smiled.
Based on your reactions on all your threads, it's almost expected that you would react this way.

Maybe you should keep yourself and your child behind closed doors. If such triviliaties are going to set you off, you best avoid any possibility of bumping into him.

Or the next time you see him, walk the other way. You're causing more drama than there has to be.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:47 PM   #25
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Self-preservation is good but take into account that there will be the occasional bump in and that's when you act mature and civil. He acted mature by acknowledging a child standing infront of him. He did not acknowledge you as you requested. Then you both moved on with the day.

Stop nit-picking.

If we both moved on with the day, where's the issue? My issue is what I took to be a boundary violation on his part. I didn't acknowledge him but I was not rude and did not create any drama. He crossed the line. He knows he hurt me, he should have more respect *especially* in light of my recent request.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:51 PM   #26
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This encounter was 100 percent not about you.
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Old 24th January 2018, 2:38 PM   #27
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You think so?

I think he could have smiled at her without speaking
You could have left the cafe when you saw him and none of this would have happened. It's incredible how you continue to show up where he is.
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Old 24th January 2018, 2:42 PM   #28
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If we both moved on with the day, where's the issue? My issue is what I took to be a boundary violation on his part. I didn't acknowledge him but I was not rude and did not create any drama. He crossed the line. He knows he hurt me, he should have more respect *especially* in light of my recent request.
The truth is he isn't even thinking about you. He saw your child standing right in front of him and his first reaction was to speak as would any other normal human being. His problem isn't her, it's you so why would he take it out on an innocent child. I'm thinking that if he hadn't spoken to your child you would be complaining about that.
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Old 24th January 2018, 2:57 PM   #29
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It's astonishing that you think a guy who knows your kid politely acknowledging her was the *wrong* move.

I dated a woman with children, and even if I don't speak to the mother anymore, my stomach turns at the thought of seeing them all in passing and just walking past with no acknowledgement toward the children.

Young children don't have the emotional capacity to understand any of this relationship BS, but I can tell you that an adult they know seeing them and ignoring them would make most of them feel horrible.
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Old 24th January 2018, 7:12 PM   #30
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The issue is that you're being petty.
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