primer Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Do all dumpers struggle when the dumpee moves on? My dumpee was going to a counselor to sort out his issues, and now he is dating the counselor. They have been seen out in public. WTF? In a way I am glad because maybe she can help him with his issues. But really?? Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 I wonder if she realizes that dating clients is grounds for having her license revoked? This is not done. It's a clear ethics violation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author primer Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 I wonder if she realizes that dating clients is grounds for having her license revoked? This is not done. It's a clear ethics violation. I know. At first I thought about saying something, but then decided for forget it. Weird. The joys of living in a small town . . . . Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Why do you care, you dumped him???? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Really? Really what? He's perfectly free to move on to another relationship and good for him that he has moved on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 From what I understood dumpers felt relief (and pity for the dumpee), as dumpers they get exactly that they wanted (unless they were a forced dumper). I am not sure what your problem is with him dating someone else if you didn't want him anymore. It is good he is moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author primer Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 Okay. I went for a walk and thought about it. It bothers me because he is still calling me, telling me how much he misses me, he still wants to be with me, etc. I listen to him and let him talk because I feel sorry for him. Sometimes he is actually crying. I told him I am in a good place now, I will not go back to where I was, I am enjoying life, etc. Why is he doing this? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Why not tell him good bye for good and block him from calling you? You've already dumped him so why still are you taking his calls? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author primer Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 It's because I feel sorry for him. I know he is messed up. His whole family is. I am the fool. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Well now he has a Counselor to help him get over his problems. Leave him alone and let him move on. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Do all dumpers struggle when the dumpee moves on? Varies, and unless the dumpee is surveiling the dumper, it would be difficult to ascertain or verify anyway. My dumpee was going to a counselor to sort out his issues, and now he is dating the counselor. They have been seen out in public. WTF? One question to ask yourself is why this information and question are important to you. The relationship is over, correct? In a way I am glad because maybe she can help him with his issues. But really?? Counselors, therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists are professionals tasked to and paid for assisting people with mental and emotional issues, whether transitory or persistent. Generally, their ethical tenets prohibit personal contact away from the professional environment but yeah, it happens. Still, relationship over so what they do, or don't do, is now not relevant to your life. I'd suggest examining why this issue is on your mind. A competent counselor would likely seek to examine it as well. We're each in charge of our own minds and make choices. You apparently chose to dump someone. That's cool. Done, over, next. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 It's because I feel sorry for him. I know he is messed up. His whole family is. I am the fool. OMG. This sounds like me. I feel for and am concerned about my ex who is now in a new relationship. Had a rough holiday break with her, but I have to let this all go. She is not my responsibility in the end. Not your responsibility. You left him for a good reason, no? Move on...let him be and tell him to stop crashing in on your life. Are you sure you are not jealous? Yearning for him? Not entirely clear? Believe me, I am going through something similar. I know that I made the best decision by leaving her. For my sake and my children's. That doesn't mean I don't feel some discomfort for not having done more (if I could) to help her. Are you better off w/o him? Yes? Move on! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author primer Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 I am extremely hurt because he is still lying to me. He will tell me things such as "I didn't want her with me that day", and then I find out he picked her up and drove her there. It's okay he moved on - but don't lie to me about it. Or did he move on? He says no. I must be the "sensitive" type and do not like being lied to. It doesn't matter who does it. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 It shouldn't matter to you one way or the other since you dumped him. If you no longer want to hear his lies then block him so it will be easier for both of you to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 I am extremely hurt because he is still lying to me. He will tell me things such as "I didn't want her with me that day", and then I find out he picked her up and drove her there. It's okay he moved on - but don't lie to me about it. Or did he move on? He says no. I must be the "sensitive" type and do not like being lied to. It doesn't matter who does it. Nobody likes being lied to - not sure what 'sensitive' has to do with it. You must stop giving him so much power. If you block him, he won't be able to lie to you anymore. It really is this simple. Link to post Share on other sites
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