Coping ask from someone random?

[Steve40th396]

My daughter, who is 17, and I were talking about mine and her mommas separation. Surprisingly she sees through the mud. She thinks momma is running from everything, dealing with daily battle to think of relationship, byt burying herself in her work. It makes sense now, as that is how she was when I met her, after she divorced her ex. ( he was a drunk, and had infidelity). She then immersed herself in work and school to better herself then. That was one reason I loved her, as she was someone who i knew would do whatever it takes to make things work.

Well, since we have been separated, she has done just that, and is now at a corporate level within her business. Good on her. She is so busy, she has very little time for me, her daughters and grandbaby.. Very hard to see it happen, but i will let it run its course.

Of course, i am selfish, and want her back, and definitely dont want someone else to land her.. I know, its what most people think will happen anyways..

But, my daughter really opened my eyes to our relation, wifes and mine, and whats happening.. She knows of everything, as she is very observant. Neither one of us had affairs, we just had other issues with control, oldest child causing serious daily friction due to poor decisions. Lots of issues that have just left scars and probably no turning back.

I love her, and my kids. But my youngest really opened my eyes.

[healing light]

I read your story. Sorry about the separation. I'm assuming you guys don't live together anymore. Yes, your daughter sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. What are you looking for in the way of responses? Advice on whether or not to pursue your ex wife? Or just wanting to vent? Let us know and I'm sure the good people on this forum will support you.

[Steve40th396]

I read your story. Sorry about the separation. I'm assuming you guys don't live together anymore. Yes, your daughter sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. What are you looking for in the way of responses? Advice on whether or not to pursue your ex wife? Or just wanting to vent? Let us know and I'm sure the good people on this forum will support you.

Kinda venting, pursuing advice and looking at advice in general. Everyones advice is usually centric to them. Most people have had affairs, and that is the most hurtful part, when a spouse does that.

Known her since 1992, married 13 1/2 years, separated for 6 months.

One thing I have found, is the spouse is the last to know, and others already know the truth, but wont speak up.

[Aiuta le mani]

Hey! Sorry for your separation! Not very clear about the reasons for it but it seems like you are fine with as well wanting your wife back! How broken do you think your relationship is? Your daughter is giving you good perspective! That is very important. Have you had the chance to talk about this with someone else, like a friend o a counselor? Maybe an external third person can help you get additional perspective! Keep trusting those who care about you like your daughter. You will always find wisdom in those who care!

[Frostedflake]

oldest child causing serious daily friction due to poor decisions.

 

Better worded as "my ex wife and I could not agree on parenting". Do not blame your children for your marital failings.

[Steve40th396]

Better worded as "my ex wife and I could not agree on parenting". Do not blame your children for your marital failings.

How about my oldest , 13 year old with BiPolar , Step child whos real father left her twice and hated me from the get go constantly caused problems on a daily bases after her mom and i married and moved her 6000 miles away from her home in SC to Hawaii..