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Should I work with my ex?


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 1st October 2017, 12:20 PM   #1
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Should I work with my ex?

I have the option of working in the same local area as my ex. This will undoubtedly lead to a run-in some time in the future. I haven't seen her since we split, never want to see her again, and she is someone who stabbed me in the back like no one else ever could, and my time with her led to me being severely damaged psychologically and emotionally.

I have a family member telling me that I should drop everything I have, in terms of employment, away from my current community of employment if there's a chance of getting a full time position where she works. My current employment is permanent, stable, and well-paying should I choose to remain.

Knowing myself, run-ins with her will be soul-destroying, but at the same time I sometimes think running away is for cowards. But I absolutely cannot handle having any shape or form of contact with her anytime soon.

Would you do this? Could you do this?
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Old 1st October 2017, 4:20 PM   #2
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I think you are being overly dramatic. Soul destroying, really?

That said, if you think it will be that bad & you currently have a steady well paying permanent job, just stay there.
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Old 1st October 2017, 4:55 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
I think you are being overly dramatic. Soul destroying, really?
Knowing myself, I probably would have panic attacks.
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Old 1st October 2017, 6:39 PM   #4
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If it is going to take a toll on your mental health, then it might be something you want to consider, especially if you broke up on bad terms.
But if the job you are currently at a more benefits then I would weigh the terms. What is more important to me? Is my mental health strong enough to deal with my emotional issues? Is it worth leaving my job for a job that is potentially worse (or better?)
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Old 1st October 2017, 6:45 PM   #5
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If it is going to take a toll on your mental health, then it might be something you want to consider, especially if you broke up on bad terms.
But if the job you are currently at a more benefits then I would weigh the terms. What is more important to me? Is my mental health strong enough to deal with my emotional issues? Is it worth leaving my job for a job that is potentially worse (or better?)
We broke up on terrible terms, it was the worst breakup of my life, resulting in me suffering from complex PTSD, having to take medication and seeking a psychiatrist on an urgent basis. It's been a very long time, and I'm still not over it. I tried to do all the right things after she left (and mostly did).

My current location of employment is a more desirable place to work with more possibilities for advancement and less chance of layoffs. It is a bit of a longer commute, though.

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Old 1st October 2017, 7:02 PM   #6
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If the only benefit to changing jobs is a shorter commute but it comes with the stress of seeing your EX, the possibility of a lay off & no increase in money, there is no Q here. Stay put.
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Old 1st October 2017, 7:28 PM   #7
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Move closer to work...problem solved!
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