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Here yet again, Dumped on my Birthday.


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 27th September 2017, 4:07 AM   #1
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Here yet again, Dumped on my Birthday.

I really dont know how much more of this i can take. I feel I am the unluckiest man alive in dating

I split with my long term ex nearly 5 years ago, I believe she had BPD. She has a child who i raised as my stepson, yet when we split she became vindictive and denied me seeing him.

This sent me into depression for 2 years, yet I picked myself up, worked on myself and began dating. I dated alot of girls but couldnt find anyone I 'liked'

Thats when I met M, I fell head over heels for her, and it seems she did for me too, yet out of the blue she left me, it turns out she got back with an Ex.

That set me back big time but i moved on, and met P, things were going great and then she got offered a job abroad. So that was that.

Then I met S, again I really liked her, all going well, but one night i woke and she was gone. She didnt have the heart to dump me face to face so just left in the night.

Once again I picked myself up, moved on and met the current one. A.

we had only been seeing each other for a few months, but we got on better then anyone ive met, everything seemed to fall into place, and i finally felt ive met someone who i can be in a relationship with. I was beginning to develop feelings for her and long story short, her 'commitment issues' got the best of her and she dumped me 2 days ago. On my birthday.

Im devastated, I just cant catch a break in the dating world. I feel i have so much love to give but every time i get close to someone, something goes wrong.

Ive already spiralled into a bit of depression, I genuinely dont know how much more heart ache i cant take.

Im a pro at break ups now, I know all about working on myself and No contact, yet my emotional state is so fragile right now.

All, and i by all i mean every single one of my friends is in LTR's and are settling down, and yet here is me going through another break up.

It may have only been a few months with this last one, but I had developed feelings, and really felt it was going somewhere.

Ive got no strength for this again
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Old 27th September 2017, 4:51 AM   #2
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This probably won't be your typical advice. What was your background like growing up? Sounds like you have an abandonment pattern. I would actually take a break from dating and consider energy work or a good therapist to break attracting this. EFT (emotional freedom technique) is a helpful tool I like to use for emotional traumas. I'm of the mindset, though, that people subconsciously attract partners who mirror the wounds they experienced early in life. I'm sorry you've had such a bad run of people disappearing on you.
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Old 27th September 2017, 6:36 AM   #3
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This probably won't be your typical advice. What was your background like growing up? Sounds like you have an abandonment pattern. I would actually take a break from dating and consider energy work or a good therapist to break attracting this. EFT (emotional freedom technique) is a helpful tool I like to use for emotional traumas. I'm of the mindset, though, that people subconsciously attract partners who mirror the wounds they experienced early in life. I'm sorry you've had such a bad run of people disappearing on you.
I had a steady upbringing but very strict. My father used to punish my siblings and I physically, in a way that was acceptable 20 years ago but would be classed as abuse now. I dont have a strong relationship with him.

Abandonment issues? Im not sure, i certainly have low self esteem, dispite being confidant
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Old 27th September 2017, 6:47 AM   #4
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might be what you do or say on your birthday, reflect on whether your celebrating style jars the girlf

heavy drinking, gambling, wanting a fancy present, or spending nothing on the big day, or too much

what do the girls say when they go? what?
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Old 27th September 2017, 7:50 AM   #5
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I'm sorry your birthday sucked. Her timing could have been better.

Lots of people have lots of break ups. It's a rare person indeed who meets their soulmate in school & lives happily ever after.

Look at it this way, with every failed relationship you are one step closer to meeting the woman of your dreams. Hang in there.
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Old 27th September 2017, 3:10 PM   #6
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I'm sorry it's been so hard for you. I can't help feeling that you are a bit too dependent on wanting a partner, though, and that you should be able to be happy on your own as well. You've been successful in that you've had a lot of women who lasted long enough to be considered real relationships, more than many can say.

If you don't already have a house with a yard and two dogs, I think that's what you should do, because a dog will always love you and they bring a lot of fulfillment into your life and give you someone to live for and every day when you come home from work or wherever, they make you feel like you are the most wonderful person on earth, every time. If you don't have dogs, it's time you learned to love someone besides people.
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Old 27th September 2017, 7:04 PM   #7
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Sounds like you let too many just anybodies turn into more too soon.
That's a lot of quickie relationships in such a short time and probably none of them should've even gone that far really and so they just fizzled.
Sorry about the birthday thing , timing, just gotta wonder about some people.

Take some time out and wait from now on until you actually fall in love with someone before you let a relationship start up.
Wait for ms right.
Don't worry , she'll blow every gasket you have , you won't miss her.But she could be 6mths , a yr, 2 , who knows.

Last edited by Chilli; 27th September 2017 at 7:08 PM..
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Old 27th September 2017, 7:36 PM   #8
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Jeepers, that is a lot of people in a short amount of time!

Where are you meeting these people? Online by any chance?

You have to stabilize yourself and ground yourself, and you can do this by being single for a while, getting to like your own company, and indulging in some hobbies and interests to become a more "whole" person.
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Old 28th September 2017, 6:33 AM   #9
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Jeepers, that is a lot of people in a short amount of time!

Where are you meeting these people? Online by any chance?

You have to stabilize yourself and ground yourself, and you can do this by being single for a while, getting to like your own company, and indulging in some hobbies and interests to become a more "whole" person.
Yea on tinder. The annoying thing is i had found peace being single. I was pretty happy, enjoyed my own company and had no hang ups on anyone.

Then i met her, and everything went well, and i thought you know what, this i my chance for a relationship, my turn to find someone to be intimate with, and it all seemed to be heading that way.

She goes away on holiday for a couple of weeks tommorow too, which i guess is a good thing
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