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Time Doesn't Heal


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 19th September 2017, 1:10 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by fieldoflavender View Post
I think that's my biggest lesson - I want to find someone who is worth it to me - to make sacrifices and who finds me worth it to make sacrifices. Love isn't perfect, commitment is hard, but if the love is there - and if we are both worth it to each other, then we will pull through the hard times. But it should be built on core values and fundamentals - not just superficial things like physical attraction (people get old duh), money (can be gone in a heartbeat), and other tangible things. But who a person is will never change.

Why is that so hard to find? Where are those people?

I have found one or two in recent years that were close, but there were other issues that turned me away from those relationships.
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Old 19th September 2017, 1:12 AM   #17
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I've asked myself the same question. I don't have the answers. We all want relationships to last forever, but the reality is that they don't. I wish it were different.

Well, we're not immortal. We're human. One would think, at the very least, that relationships built on solid ground would last as long.
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Old 19th September 2017, 3:34 PM   #18
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Well, we're not immortal. We're human. One would think, at the very least, that relationships built on solid ground would last as long.
Well, emotions aren't necessarily solid ground. Not all the time anyway. I don't think a relationship that lasts a decade (but not a lifetime) is a failure or wasn't built on solid ground. That's a good run for a relationship. Sometimes, you have to change your perspective. People fall out of love all the time for no apparent reason. That is the reality of human emotions. I don't say all this because I want it to be true. I say all of it because it's the reality for most of us.
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Old 19th September 2017, 6:51 PM   #19
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Yeah Op I agree with you.
My ex left 1 year ago and a part of me wishes he would contact me. I know its never going to happen although I had hope for a long time that it would.
I remembered something yesterday and it triggered a memory of him and I cried so much. I still love him even now. Even though I can function everyday, tho I don't tell anyone that because I don't want to look crazy and desperate. Tho it might be too late for that
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Old 29th September 2017, 11:49 PM   #20
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Then, what's the point? Who wants to live a life on an emotional roller coaster if the grass is always greener on the other side?

Women complain about 'players', but at the same time they change their emotions and attachments whichever direction the wind is blowing.

I guess I'm better off living a life between one night stand and the next, or through 'casual relationships', or one of those other BS euphemisms today's generation, especially women, uses to rationalize their immaturity and flakiness. So fickle.

Millions should just have f** buddies they can summon at a moment's notice whenever their primal instincts kick in and they're horny and then kick them out once their needs are satisfied.

The next time I'm in a relationship I won't invest in her. I'll treat her like an inanimate object that lacks emotions, and tell her to drive to McDonalds if she wants dinner.

I wish men would boycott women. That'll learn them.

How does that work for the women out there?

They want chivalry and gentlemanly behavior, but they wonder where all those men have gone.
I have no idea what to believe anymore. I honestly don't date anymore. I dont have the energy. we think we have the answers on why women or men dont like us even though we have the qualities they are looking for.

I have read millions of profiles online. They state they want a romantic guy, stable, a gentleman, caring, sweet, family oriented, etc, etc. You get the point. You need a combination of things to make love work. The right chemistry with that someone. Its not easy. One may have all those qualities, but, there is still something missing and we get dumped, hurt.

I dont date, nor will I do online dating if I do decide to date again. when you go online, women are more pickier. They have millions of options. millions of men email them all day long. its different for a man on a dating site.

I am fine alone. I have no desire to take a woman out to eat and grab a drink. Its a waste of time for me. I tried and tried. I was the gentlman, the nice guy. The man who would come to your job and bring you your favorite coffee. No. Not anymore. That me is gone. Nobody cares about me, why should I give a **** back. But they tell me I havent found the one. At this point, I just dont care to find the one. some of us are meant to be alone.

sorry for being negative. I am just trying not to sugar coat things anymore. I feel your pain.
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Old 30th September 2017, 2:51 AM   #21
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I have no idea what to believe anymore. I honestly don't date anymore. I dont have the energy. we think we have the answers on why women or men dont like us even though we have the qualities they are looking for.

I have read millions of profiles online. They state they want a romantic guy, stable, a gentleman, caring, sweet, family oriented, etc, etc. You get the point. You need a combination of things to make love work. The right chemistry with that someone. Its not easy. One may have all those qualities, but, there is still something missing and we get dumped, hurt.

I dont date, nor will I do online dating if I do decide to date again. when you go online, women are more pickier. They have millions of options. millions of men email them all day long. its different for a man on a dating site.

I am fine alone. I have no desire to take a woman out to eat and grab a drink. Its a waste of time for me. I tried and tried. I was the gentlman, the nice guy. The man who would come to your job and bring you your favorite coffee. No. Not anymore. That me is gone. Nobody cares about me, why should I give a **** back. But they tell me I havent found the one. At this point, I just dont care to find the one. some of us are meant to be alone.

sorry for being negative. I am just trying not to sugar coat things anymore. I feel your pain.


No. Not negative at all. Just realistic.


I was out tonight and I approached a few women with a smile and a polite and courteous demeanor and all I got in return was either a blank stare, a frown or a shrug.


Women, for the most part, might think they are ladies, but deep inside they’re selfish *****.


There’s an imbalance in today’s world and I wish men would grow a pair and start treating those women the way they deserve to be treated.


If or when at any point in the future, a woman who will be with me will complain, belittle or say something hurtful, I will either tell her to get out of my car and Uber her way home, or if I’m with her, I’ll tell her to get out of my house, immediately, and block all her communication.


I spent thousands of dollars on my ex. I was thinking about that earlier today. All those expenses add up. I was generous and a giver and she was a stingy little taker, a succubus. Narcissistic. She thought she was always right, never wrong. And her way was always the right way. At times, she acted as if she was better than me. I wish I had told her to “Shut the **** up!”


I came across a profile on an online dating website the other day. In her profile the woman wrote that she was looking for a nice, old fashioned gentleman who won’t talk badly about his ex and who will always pay for dinner.


I moved on to the next one after reading that.


It’s that arrogant sense of self-entitlement that I find repulsive.


Sometimes I feel like saying to them:


“Who? The ***? Do? You? Think? You? Are?”
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