CeciliaCylara Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 (edited) I used to date someone with major depression and he dumped me because of it after 2.5 years. There was a time when he wrote a story and I offered to read it when I found the time. I did want to read it, but one of my vices is that I'm a big procrastinator. He brought it up at some point that he felt disappointed that I didn't read it like I said I would, and it contributed to his trust issues with people, since he had also given it to someone else to read but they didn't reply back. It was one of my regrets when we broke up, but I feel like it was such a minor issue to feel upset over. He knew I procrastinated and I'm not much of a reader. I was busy with college too so I didn't find an opportune time just sit and read. I feel guilty for not being able to before the break up, but it also seemed like he expected too much from me due to his depression. As if I betrayed his trust when I feel like it could have been easily resolved if he had just told me how badly he wanted me to read it. I'm not a mind reader. Is this guilt worthy, or was his reaction out of my control due to his depression? I want feedback so I know how to grow from this experience. Edited September 9, 2017 by CeciliaCylara Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 It's that little patch of grey you have to swallow. He was your bf, but he also should have suggested it again for you to read when you forgot. It was just a silly story, but it meant a lot to a depressed guy who probably had a hard time getting things out of his head. You should grow from this the way you wish you would have reacted if it happens again in the future. Either with honesty and say that you will be too busy, or with compassion that you will find the time and follow through. Who do you want to be? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CeciliaCylara Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 I think it's something I'm going to move on from. Sure it was one of my biggest regrets. I did read it post-breakup and told him about it. I certainly had no obligation to at that point, but I see it as one of my final gestures as someone who cares deeply for him. If he still wants to hang onto his trust issues at that point, that's going to his problem for not counting all the other acts I did for him through his depression. I can walk away toward NC with a good conscience on my end. Link to post Share on other sites
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