StarkContrast Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I never thought I would actually post haha.... It's been almost 2 years since a breakup. Some of this is gonna sound very cliche but, she really did seem like the perfect girl, although at the time I didn't see it and didn't appreciate her. She was a really pretty nerdy scientist that was a really sweet girl. And now, in hindsight, I must have won some kind of universal life lottery with her. She was way too good for a guy like me. She had a really great career, very smart, and really pretty. How in the heck did a guy like me get someone like her...the definition of what every guy wants in a girl. But at the time, I was under a lot of stress and frustrations in trying to play caretaker for my mentally ill father. I was constantly angry and frustrated, no matter what she did. She was trying so hard to be happy with me, but at the time I just didn't care. I completely neglected her and had this attitude like...I'm not gonna change...if you don't like me, you can leave. Eventually she did...but she broke up very sincerely and heartfelt way. She said she was sorry...but she doesn't know what she can do to make me happy. She said she knows I'll find a better match, and that she's sorry for breaking things up like this, but she knows that I'll find someone that I can connect with better. I said I understood and I wished her luck. A couple days later, I sent an email to her telling her that I messed up so much with her, and that she deserved better than me. And she said...who knows...maybe we can try again in a couple months. I deleted her number, and trashed every single thing that reminded me of her. I went through a period of where I was just trying to forget about her and move on. I was very prideful and I held my head high and told myself I am going to move on and over some time, I will get over this. She texted me a couple months later asking how I was doing and told me to keep in touch. I said I would, even though I didn't text her back. Again, very prideful and immature on my part. Eventually, a couple more months later after that, I folded and texted her how she is doing. And found out she deleted my number and would not reply to any of my texts. Two years later...I have a GF, and am doing fairly well overall in life. But deep down...there is a big part of my heart that is still reserved for her. I still remember the sound of her voice, the way she smiled at me, her dorky humor. And the worst part is the tremendous amount of regret. Because in all reality, there is no way a sweet pretty funny girl like her would ever go for a guy like me. Somehow, I got a huge break in life, and I threw it away. I texted her a few times over the years, but none had a reply. She either changed her number or she just wants to close that chapter away so she focus on her new life. And the truth is, I just miss her, and miss having her in my life. I sometimes fantasize about going back in time and smacking myself in the face and warning myself. Sometimes I imagine if I had just replied to her text sooner....things would be different. I fantasize stupid things like being able to go back in time and give her a hug and tell her all the things that she wanted to hear. That she means so much to me, and that I want to make her happy because she's an absolute angel that happened to come into my life. And now I feel like I'll live the rest of my life feeling like a piece of my heart is missing. And I don't really have anyone to talk to about this. (I guess that's why I'm here haha). Sometimes I wonder if later in my old age, if we'll ever meet again. A big lesson.....pride is important....but when the right girl comes along....swallow that pride and do not let her go. If you love a girl, show her. Sounds simple, but for idiots like me....it's not very apparent. Now I live with these memories and feeling a little empty inside... all the time... So to the guys out there that might be in the same situation...and if you know she is the one.....don't end up like me....living in regret... I love my current GF....but I really just in emotional chaos and just have a tremendous mixture of emotion and regret and sadness and emptiness...and I can't talk to her about it. Link to post Share on other sites
InAFog Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 You are sure going to make a whole lotta chicks hope this is how their exes are feeling!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarkContrast Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 You are sure going to make a whole lotta chicks hope this is how their exes are feeling!! Man...I think most guys feel like this. I think most girls get over breakups relatively quickly. Even though it's extremely hard at first...they get over it somewhat easily compared to guys. For guys...if it's the right girl....GOOD LUCK getting over it. Link to post Share on other sites
InAFog Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I keep hearing that, but don't think it's true. Maybe when younger...? Don't know. But i'm going through hell, and I was the dumper. He moved on immediately. And I mean IMMEDIATELY. After 3 years of proclaiming undying love & wanting marriage & kids. Into a relationship, not a rebound thing. I actually think they may make it. Wish I could be happy for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarkContrast Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 I keep hearing that, but don't think it's true. Maybe when younger...? Don't know. But i'm going through hell, and I was the dumper. He moved on immediately. And I mean IMMEDIATELY. After 3 years of proclaiming undying love & wanting marriage & kids. Into a relationship, not a rebound thing. I actually think they may make it. Wish I could be happy for them. Are you sure? How do you know he's really moved on? Maybe he's just with someone just to get over you and inside he's crying and internally reciting every cheesy and corny love poem known to man, and goes to sleep in tears listening to Rick Astley. Ya Never Know! Ya know!? Link to post Share on other sites
InAFog Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 He could totally be listening to Rick, but not because of me. He just actually liked him. Lol. He's happy. They're totally more compatible than we were. He even "wants me to meet her." Uh, yeah,not gonna happen. I think the life lesson here is EVERYONE SUCKS! Except ol Rick Astley. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarkContrast Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 (edited) He could totally be listening to Rick, but not because of me. He just actually liked him. Lol. He's happy. They're totally more compatible than we were. He even "wants me to meet her." Uh, yeah,not gonna happen. I think the life lesson here is EVERYONE SUCKS! Except ol Rick Astley. Also... I think No Contact is something that needs to be handled very carefully. I went No-Contact pretty strict, but now looking back....after she texted me after 2 months....I should have continued contacting her, because...she was the one. In life, you have to tread carefully and be wary of situations where you'll end up in deep regret....sometimes life-long. Well, anyway... EVERYONE SUCKS! I'll drink to that! Except ol Rick Astley! I'll drink to that as well! Cuz he would never give you up, never would let you down.... Edited August 22, 2017 by StarkContrast Link to post Share on other sites
mon. Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I wouldn't like my bf to have such thoughts about an ex "she was the one". There must be some way you could reach out to her. Email, home address etc. Set things clear, either for proper closure or trying again, or just for a little more pain on your side in case she's totally over you - be prepared for that. You might need to come clean with your current gf, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarkContrast Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 I wouldn't like my bf to have such thoughts about an ex "she was the one". There must be some way you could reach out to her. Email, home address etc. Set things clear, either for proper closure or trying again, or just for a little more pain on your side in case she's totally over you - be prepared for that. You might need to come clean with your current gf, though. I disposed of all contact information I had on her. All I have is her number from memory....I'm sure she's completely moved on. If I told my GF, she would drop me on the spot. I've gone through some therapy but it just doesn't work. Hopefully I'll learn to live with the regret. Link to post Share on other sites
mon. Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Our minds are professionals when it comes to glorifying our pasts, just to trick us and to make us believe THAT was the ONE deal. I'd say stop living in the past, then. Honor what you have now, before you lose it. Tough but true All the best! Link to post Share on other sites
Whitenblack Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Your story sounds exactly like the male protagonist of this anime called "5 Centimeters per second". Sad story. Anyways, I feel like this is a case of one not knowing how percious something is until one loses it. I do hope you two cross paths again in the future. Maybe you'll both be single, and there can be a second chance. What an ending that'd be! Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarkContrast Posted August 23, 2017 Author Share Posted August 23, 2017 Your story sounds exactly like the male protagonist of this anime called "5 Centimeters per second". Sad story. Anyways, I feel like this is a case of one not knowing how percious something is until one loses it. I do hope you two cross paths again in the future. Maybe you'll both be single, and there can be a second chance. What an ending that'd be! It's definitely classic case of not knowing how precious something is until it's gone. And the way she broke up with me made it much harder. If she broke up with me swearing at me and calling me names, I would feel less hung up on this. But the fact that she broke up with me in such a sincere and considerate way....The constant searing regret just keeps jabbing at me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Doublegold Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Regrets are worse than mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 It's not something men talk much about...but I'm pretty sure more than we know have a "the one that got away" secret.. I know I do. I just wasn't ready at 23. things like this have a way of working out for the best....at least for one of us lol Link to post Share on other sites
Soulful_Hero Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 When it comes to love and life I feel like we all have regrets. Its not a bad thing, it shows that you looked back and learned from your mistakes. Regrets guide our choices in the present to make our futures better. Bear that cross to win the crown. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Reddice Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I believe it was F. Scott Fitzgerald who once wrote : 'There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.' There is a lot of truth in that. You may love your current girlfriend, but it will not feel the same as with your ex. At the same time, should this current relationship end, your next love will feel different as well. Even the breakup will feel different. Not necessarily a good or bad thing, but I think it's important to keep in mind if you ever wonder why your ex is on your mind as much as she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Taticake Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Sounds like you just have an epiphany....your new girlfriend is in your life now, treat her better or you'll lose her just like you lost the previous girl. You don't want that to happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 I was thinking along the same lines as taticake.... You are spending so much time focusing on how you screwed up in the past and not seeing that you are doing the exact same thing again to your current girlfriend in the process. Take a long hard look at who you are with right now. What are the special things about her that you would miss if she ended things right now? There is a good chance she would dump you if she knew you were pining over a lost love from 2 years ago. You are right not to tell her that you are feeling these things. But take a look at her, what is it about her that drew you to her? Focus on that and move forward. The past is the past, you can't stare into that void forever or you'll never appreciate what you have right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishforbreakfast Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 That's really bittersweet but also scary! I would hate to be your gf and accidentally stunple upon this post or know you even thought of your ex still! But I do think it's really good that some people are not so easy to replace. I'm a big believer in if it's meant to be it will happen, maybe in years or decades. Look at cindy Crawford for example she got married to someone else then ended up back with her ex before him and they've been married something like 18 years and she's a model she could get any guy she wants but he must of held a special spot in her heart ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
TravisroniA Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 Òàáëåòêè Äîñòèíåêñ - îòçûâû, èíñòðóêöèÿ ïî ïðèìåíåíèþ - FarmDirect Link to post Share on other sites
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