Where are you all at with NC?

[brokenshell]

Just checking in with you all and wondering where you are all at with NC if you have implemented it? Is it working for you? How are you all feeling?

 

I have reached quite a milestone personally, I've been writing on here the last few months. We have been broken up for about 3.5 months now. I did all the wrong things after the breakup, I begged shamelessly in the beginning and then I kept initiating contact to at first having him reply... then absolutely nothing in response to my messgages.

 

It's been a while since he last replied to my messages and I have just reached the longest period of NC (from my end) since the breakup. 3 weeks! I know it's a little embarrasing that I would make several efforts to contact him even though I had been ignored.

 

I'm feeling much better in myself, I've been hanging out with friends more, staying in contact with more people than I did when we were together (I kept myself in a little bubble with my ex, I forgot I had a life of my own) I have been feeling... well... happy!

 

I even developed a little crush on someone else which has helped. He's just a friend and isn't available (I would never go after him for a relationship and I never step out of friendship bounds with him because he's in a relationship and I completely respect that. I'm no homewrecker) but it's nice to find someone apart from my ex attractive in that way. It's been a nice distraction - mentally. It gives me hope I will find someone someday.

 

Its not all sunshine however I do get sad over my ex and I do miss him dearly sometimes. I do wonder if he will ever initiate contact with me one day. And I do hope he might even regret his decision and want me back. But I think those feelings are natural and they have become less and less frequent.

 

So how are you all? How many days/months are you into no contact? Has your ex tried to initiate conversation? How are you coping post breakup?

[sweetgirl75]

Next week will be three months for me. Yay!! I have tried to get away from him before and this is the longest time I have been able to stay away. I hope I just did not jinx myself now. It was not a true relationship. It was a FWB. I will never be doing that again. He was a very self centered guy and my feelings and my health did not matter. Our relationship lasted 14 months but that did not matter to him. I was just a warm body and a warm bed for his lazy ass. I called him out on his behavior and he said delete his number which I gladly did. He probably expected me to beg for him to come back which in the past I would apologize and ask to work things out. I probably blew his mind when I did not say a word back. I always felt like a side chick anyways when his other relationships failed which they always did because he is a narcissist. He always said other girls are prettier and that I was just okay. At first I had my days where I wanted to contact him but I was not about to let him have an ego trip at my expense. My self esteem and self respect now is so much better and I know I will find a great guy one of these days. I know that online dating is out the window for me. This guy turned out to be a sex offender. I highly doubt he will try to contact me but I know what I will do if he does. Delete!!!!

[GeekLover]

My check in is rather short:

 

I'm 8 months in NC. I haven't tried to contact him in...hmmmm...probably about 5 months, and he hasn't tried to contact me since the break up.

 

I'm in the thick of focusing on myself, and that feels AMAZING. I can consciously recognize that I have nothing to give to anyone else at this moment because anything "in the cup" is going to me. I'm working though feelings with reflection through journaling (that I assigned to myself), and I'm attending therapy every other week still (where I receive homework, which has helped SO much). I started this mid-May and since then, I've SOARED with my healing. I feel like a different person!

 

I finally have hope in my future and I'm excited to see the person I become on the other side of all this *****. I can already tell I'm different...but in a good way.

 

Best of luck to all of you.

Edited July 17, 2017 by GeekLover

[Earlybird2016]

About twenty months since the break up. Eighteen months since I initiated contact, just over four months since she did. It's horrendous, worse every day.

[Funny bunny]

You guys are awesome and give me so much hope. I am 6 weeks NC and haven't had a peep and I'm super proud. I think about him daily but today I went a full 2 hours without thinking about him and a half hour here and there. They're mostly thoughts that involve him marrying someone else but I'm going on a date with a very handsome guy on Tuesday and just that makes me feel glad that I could be attracted to someone else.., even if things don't work out with this new guy it's a step forward away from the ex. I still haven't deleted the ex's pics phone etc but I have never deleted any of my exs stuff anyway.

[Little-Wolf]

Day 27 of NC.

 

I feel happy some days, and very low other days. I have an absolute ton of work to be doing, and I'm self employed during the week so I sort of have to force myself to be working. I still miss him. I still want to text him every single day but I won't. I know the benefits of NC, as they have helped with previous relationships, but that doesn't mean I'm torn between never speaking to him again and hoping and praying that he messages me at some point. It's a constant battle between my head and my heart.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm also deeply missing our sexual chemistry. He was the best lover I'd ever had, and the thought of being with anyone else sexually makes me feel sick. My friend recently broke up with her BF and she's gone on a rampage with men and has slept with 5 new guys in about three weeks. She says it's helping her move on. It makes me feel sick to my stomach but I guess whatever tickles her pickle.

 

We were together for about 2.5 years (with a three month break up in the middle) And it would have been our third Christmas this year. I still have a personalised braclet I got him earlier on this year with the date we first said we loved each other on it, but I don't know what to do with it. I can't return it, and I don't know how long I can keep it in my room. My friend has suggested letting some more time pass and mailing it to him saying he can do what he wants with it but I'm not sure that's a good idea. Opens me up to a world of hurt if he returns it to me or imagining him throwing it out like it's nothing.

 

I'm rambling, sorry. But yeah, some days are really good. I remember how much I have to look forward to. Other days are not so good. Like today, when I dreamed of having him there at my graduation. Seeing as that's two months away, I highly doubt he'll be there. Breaks my heart. My brother already can't go as he's training away from home for a new job.

 

I wish you luck. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. I could always do with new friends. x

Edited July 17, 2017 by Little-Wolf

[sweetgirl75]

Day 27 of NC.

 

I feel happy some days, and very low other days. I have an absolute ton of work to be doing, and I'm self employed during the week so I sort of have to force myself to be working. I still miss him. I still want to text him every single day but I won't. I know the benefits of NC, as they have helped with previous relationships, but that doesn't mean I'm torn between never speaking to him again and hoping and praying that he messages me at some point. It's a constant battle between my head and my heart.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm also deeply missing our sexual chemistry. He was the best lover I'd ever had, and the thought of being with anyone else sexually makes me feel sick. My friend recently broke up with her BF and she's gone on a rampage with men and has slept with 5 new guys in about three weeks. She says it's helping her move on. It makes me feel sick to my stomach but I guess whatever tickles her pickle.

 

We were together for about 2.5 years (with a three month break up in the middle) And it would have been our third Christmas this year. I still have a personalised braclet I got him earlier on this year with the date we first said we loved each other on it, but I don't know what to do with it. I can't return it, and I don't know how long I can keep it in my room. My friend has suggested letting some more time pass and mailing it to him saying he can do what he wants with it but I'm not sure that's a good idea. Opens me up to a world of hurt if he returns it to me or imagining him throwing it out like it's nothing.

 

I'm rambling, sorry. But yeah, some days are really good. I remember how much I have to look forward to. Other days are not so good. Like today, when I dreamed of having him there at my graduation. Seeing as that's two months away, I highly doubt he'll be there. Breaks my heart. My brother already can't go as he's training away from home for a new job.

 

I wish you luck. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. I could always do with new friends. x

You will have good and bad days. The bracelet I would put in a safe place out of your sight. Maybe have a trusted friend hold on to it for you. I kept a journal for a while and it really helps. Even wrote letters that I never mailed. I prayed a lot if you are into prayer. My friends are so supportive. I take it day by day. I reward myself with each passing week. A new outfit or a mani pedi. Do something to make yourself feel fabulous. They seem to sense when you move on so beware they may try to contact you again. Especially when they get dumped when the new girl finds out what a jerk they are. I was in a FWB situation and I thought I could handle it. I was so wrong. He treated me like crap. He was really upset though when we ended things. I think it was just his narcissistic mind games.

[mike.c]

Day 27 of NC.

 

We were together for about 2.5 years (with a three month break up in the middle) And it would have been our third Christmas this year. I still have a personalised braclet I got him earlier on this year with the date we first said we loved each other on it, but I don't know what to do with it. I can't return it, and I don't know how long I can keep it in my room. My friend has suggested letting some more time pass and mailing it to him saying he can do what he wants with it but I'm not sure that's a good idea. Opens me up to a world of hurt if he returns it to me or imagining him throwing it out like it's nothing.

 

Definitely don't mail him the bracelet, throw it out or put it in a box and put the box somewhere out of sight. I know it's hard, it took me a week to manage to throw out a plastic box my ex used to bring me home-made muffins in LOL.

 

As for NC, 6 weeks now. It's not better. There are times I realize it's over, but mostly I just miss her like hell and hate myself for breaking up with her. She must've been so disappointed with me, she was my best friend...

[trustyourself]

Day 27 of NC.

 

It's a constant battle between my head and my heart.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm also deeply missing our sexual chemistry.

 

 

I wish you luck. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. I could always do with new friends. x

 

I am going through the same thing. But sometimes, its just not meant to be. She chose not to work things out and walk away. I have to accept that. 6 months on, and I still feel guilty talking to other woman who express interest.

 

Of course, she blows hot and cold, and recently came back for a short period, but blew me off the first sign of difficulty. Her maturity dictates that she could never be in a serious relationship. She just wants to have fun.

 

We had great chemistry,both in and out the bedroom. It was instantly there when she reappeared, but sometimes that is not enough

 

They seem to sense when you move on so beware they may try to contact you again. Especially when they get dumped when the new girl finds out what a jerk they are.

 

I think it was just his narcissistic mind games.

 

Yup. My ex displays signs of narcissism. And immaturity. Its a losing combination. But she certainly has that sixth sense, and knows how to manipulate it, and then run as soon as something does not go her way, or it gets hard.

 

Mine came back into my life, asked for a second chance, and then split as soon as her family dissaproved of us trying again. Her reason? It would be too hard to confront her family, or lie about our relationship. That just tells me how much she actually values what we were.

 

Screw that. I deserve someone or something better than that.

 

We all do.