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HELP! I'm Getting Dangerously Close to Breaking NC...


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Its been about five months since my fiance and I split, and I was doing fine until I found out that she's seeing someone else. Since then, I find myself calling her work number during off-hours, just to hear her message. I'm starting to have dreams about seeing her again. I miss her, but I don't miss being with her, and I know contacting her would be a mistake. What can I do to get through this?

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WEll... If you want to contact her then do it. Maybe it will give you closure on your relationship or something. If you don't want to talk to her then you need to stop calling her work after hours and try to do something else with your time. Moving on is hard. Why did you guys break up?

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ReluctantRomeo
Originally posted by DCPolo

I find myself calling her work number during off-hours, just to hear her message. I'm starting to have dreams about seeing her again.

 

Hey, I'm sorry to hear this. All of us will have experienced similar pangs at some point. Actually phoning the work number is starting to get stalky though, IMO.

 

What can I do to get through this?

 

Distraction - try doing stuff which focusses your mind on you and your future. Exercise, diet, self-improvement, professional goals, etc.

 

Time with friends - for support and for distraction.

 

If you feel you're starting to get obsessive, you should see a therapist pronto.

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RecordProducer
Originally posted by DCPolo

I miss her, but I don't miss being with her

 

Do you mean you are in love with her, but you don't think she's the right person for you so you don't want to reconcile?

Don't call her and stop calling her answering machine too! When you get withdrawal symptoms, just say to yourself that you can always call her tomorrow, it doesn't have to be today, but you can't undo the call. Whenever you start thinking about her, just drag your attention to something else. It really helped me. I would simply watch TV or read a book or a magazine or play with my kids. Alcohol and going out didn't help me, made things much worse for me.

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Blackout23

really keep yourself busy, I just found out my ex is seeing someone this past week and the day I found out I was so messed up... but I say to myself how can somebody that suppposely LOVE YOU and was with you for so long just be with somebody so fast after what 5 months of NC you say? I had NC with her for about 2 months and I bet she was seeing him even before... f*ck her... she is not worth your time at all... she don't cherish you...she don't care..

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Alright.......DC, I'm going to level with you. If you want to experience the emotional equiv of getting jammed in the nuts, like some dude who has a softball spike him in the groin, while he is sitting in a lawn chair at a company picnic; go ahead and contact your ex. I know your in pain, I know you want to hear her voice, and I know you think that somehow contacting her is going to ease the pain; It won't. You think things suck now, you will receive a mug full of suck when she off loads a truck full of info regarding her new beau.

 

Save yourself the pain of the dragon kick of "I'm fu*king someone else" info. You don't need it, trust me. What you do need is a fix to get you through the dark times. The key is to numb the brain during the evening, and aggressively work on yourself during the day.

 

Find something, anything (don't care what it is) to do.

 

No Foolin

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ConfusedInOC
Originally posted by DCPolo

Its been about five months since my fiance and I split, and I was doing fine until I found out that she's seeing someone else. Since then, I find myself calling her work number during off-hours, just to hear her message. I'm starting to have dreams about seeing her again. I miss her, but I don't miss being with her, and I know contacting her would be a mistake. What can I do to get through this?

 

Go read my thread on why breaking NC is a VERY bad thing.

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^ Where is that then?

 

DC, i found out just Wedensday that my ex is with someone else. I didnt understnad why he had dummped me then i found out hes been seeing this girl for 2 weeks, weve been broke up 5. So im guessing he met her, liked her while he wos with me, the thought of that is unberabile. I dont know if he liked her while still with me or after, but since i didnt understand why he dummped me and there wos no real reason its pretty damn obvious that that IS why. And boy is it a kick in the confidence!! The feeling of "ewhy wosnt i good enough" Its so strong :( I wos on NC the best i could (have to see him at school) untill Wedensday i founf out that hes with someone and i text him a pretty angry message which went along the lines of "i hate you and i hoe you both die" He didnt text back, i called him, he didnt answer, i feel like a prat. I wish i had stuck to it. So i totally know wot you are going through buddy. Hang in there and dont contact her again!!

 

Good Luck :love:

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