KAOJ Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 (edited) Hello. I am miserable, depressed and hating myself. I am not trying to throw a pity party....but it would be nice to talk to someone here. My nearly two year relationship ended. He lied and cheated and completely destroyed me. The breakup was in November. He and I talked about trying to work it out and he was tossing me bread crumbs the whole time while hanging out with the woman he lied to me about. About two months ago that same woman cheated on HIM. I feel like the biggest loser and piece of trash because he left me for a cheater. (OH! forgot to tell the story how we met her....met her at a party in September and she was married and at the party with her boyfriend. Classy, huh?) I don't know if this whole breakup would be easier to accept if the other woman was successful, smart, well-liked etc.... But it seems even more painful that he did this to us for someone we knew was a cheater the first time we met her and she isn't very well-liked. I loved this man with all my heart and was good to him and would have never done him wrong. From the outside looking in, DID I do something wrong for him to lie and cheat on me? I go over it in my head daily and beat myself up sometimes. Thank you for offering any insight. Truly. (Edit to add) Also, he moved a month ago 2,300 miles away and still bread crumbs me. Sometimes even sending pictures of memories and videos of songs. Edited May 26, 2017 by KAOJ addition Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 I would suggest that for him and this other woman, it's a case of "birds of a feather flock together". Both liars and both cheaters: they understand each other. You didn't do anything to cause his behaviour. We are all responsible for our own choices and this includes him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 I'm sorry that you are feeling down, but you really should be counting your blessings. This is not a good guy, better you found this out sooner than later. Now, you are available to meet someone who will love you and treat you well. So much to look forward too... don't look back anymore except to figure out why you stayed so long with this guy. Best wishes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KAOJ Posted May 26, 2017 Author Share Posted May 26, 2017 Thank you for replying. I am still so broken and just can't get over him. I shall take your comments to heart. Thank you again. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Sorry about the sitch but of course you are it's only been what 6mths. Give it time and try to get on with life as you go, and spoil yourself whenever you can. lt takes time , and some more time, and then maybe even a bit more time. But that's ok, you can take all the time you need. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Findabetterone Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Block him on everything, so he can never send you any message, those will only delay your healing. NC forever. Find someone who deserves you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 You are not a loser because you loved somebody even if he turned out to be unworthy. Part of you ought to feel secretly happy that he got his, a taste of his own medicine. The fact that you are upset shows you have a big heart. Right now it's broken but you will bounce back. Do some things to self soothe & rebuild your self esteem. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LadyM Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I feel so very bad for you because I was once you. I also went with a guy for two years and he left me for a successful, smart, etc. woman (they are now broken up). I was in so much pain I seriously thought I would never get over him. He was not even a good guy. But I am over him now and see him for who he really is instead of who I pretended he was. Be grateful he moved far away. So did my ex and it was a big help. My ex also sent breadcrumbs. Either block him or don't respond. It is important to your recovery not to have any interaction plus the unintended bonus of "no-response" bothering him. What I mostly want you to know is that you did nothing wrong. You will see that one day and you will actually feel relieved that a guy like him is no longer in your life. Now you have the opportunity to give your love to a really good and loving man who will truly enhance your life. Be good to yourself. Take care of yourself. I promise you will feel better soon! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KAOJ Posted May 27, 2017 Author Share Posted May 27, 2017 You are not a loser because you loved somebody even if he turned out to be unworthy. Part of you ought to feel secretly happy that he got his, a taste of his own medicine. The fact that you are upset shows you have a big heart. Right now it's broken but you will bounce back. Do some things to self soothe & rebuild your self esteem. Thank you for saying that! I am so ashamed that I still love this man and miss him terribly. His best friend told me he busted her cheating and my initial reply was (something like) I hope he isn't as busted up as I am. I am crushed he ruined us for a cheater. I am trying my best to heal. I have too much to lose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KAOJ Posted May 27, 2017 Author Share Posted May 27, 2017 You are not a loser because you loved somebody even if he turned out to be unworthy. Part of you ought to feel secretly happy that he got his, a taste of his own medicine. The fact that you are upset shows you have a big heart. Right now it's broken but you will bounce back. Do some things to self soothe & rebuild your self esteem. I think you are spot on! If the cheating and lying never happened, I probably would have moved with him....only to find he would have done the same thing 2,300 miles away Link to post Share on other sites
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