Leah10 Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 (edited) Hi...i am new here and not sure what to say. But i am struggling to cope in a sexless marraige. After we first met sex was abundant and very satifying....then i found out he was still in love with his ex girlfriend. l knew she didnt want him...i also knew he had a history of severe depression so i hung in there. I knew she didn't want him back... i saw texts sent between them. As heartbroken as i was i was afraid that if i left him he would end up with nothing...and i didnt know what he might do. Once all that was settled he asked me to marry him. We love each other and he told me he is in love with me...as i am him...but we have been married now 6 months and have have been intimate 3 times. We cuddle on the couch...kiss..and say i love you....but I feel lonely when i go to bed alone and confused as to what to do. Have i made a mistake? Im editing here now...because that is a stupid question isnt it? Its obvious...i guess what im hoping for is some advise....what do i do now?? Does anyone understand what im feeling? Edited May 7, 2017 by Leah10 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 You talk to him. You ask what changed. You try to initiate more to see if that helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostgirl50 Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 I am so very sorry for what is happening to you. Your words express you are in pain, I have always believed in being honest and forth coming. Lay it all out to him. Tell him how you feel and what your needs are. Tell him how lonely you feel. I have to wonder though is he taking medication for depression ? That does lower ones sex drive. But that being said you still need to tell him how you feel. See where it goes from there ! Take care ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leah10 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Hi...thankyou so much for your reply. It made me feel someone is hearing me! Yes my husband is on medication for depression and has been for years before i met him. The end of his last marriage saw him try to.take his life...so you see why i was so reluctant to abandon him even when he was msging his ex girlfriend when we first got together. I knew she wouldnt take him back and i was afraid of whatt he might do. He didnt know at the time that i knew his history. I know he loves me....he has told me he is in love with me...but when i try to talk to him about why we dont make love...to try to work out if this is a problem for him...if he has a low sex drive...or its just with me...he says ...i love you still as i always have. Or he says....dont bring up this **** again! How do i talk to him witjout sounding too confrontational??? Your advise would be greatly appreciated. .. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 You bring it up by making it about you, not laying blame on him. You start with telling him you love him. But you remind him that as much as you know he loves you that the lack of sex hurts you & if he really loves you he will at least talk about the thing that is slowly killing your marriage. You position him to be the hero -- the one who saves your marriage by doing the difficult thing & talking about a painful subject. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leah10 Posted May 11, 2017 Author Share Posted May 11, 2017 Okay...thanks so much...that makes sense! I have been putting it off for a few days but will try that tonight! Wish me luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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