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ConfusedInOC

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ConfusedInOC

Got an email from the ex tonight and I exercised my new routine:

 

Read

Laugh

Delete

 

It feels good :)

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:D

lol

 

You should be right about to the point to block and not even have it d/l from the server!

 

I can say it has been ages since the exH has contacted me via email but phone....he still blocks his number and calls :(

 

*snickering* I just choose not to answer the phone! Problem solved!

 

I am very proud of you COC!! Hang in there, I still have good days and bad days!

More good than bad now! :bunny:

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Marshbear

It feels good to have some control of your life back. Her presence doesn't affect you as much day by day and you can start to see her for what she really was. Before long you will just be annoyed that she is even sending you e-mails. You're doing good...

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alphamale

COC, did u talk with those gurls at the gym? I will not give u kudos for deleting a dumb email but if you've talk with the girls at the gym then I will. :laugh:

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whichwayisup

Hey Confused, I'm proud of ya! Keep on deleting and don't give in no matter what.

 

Next time, DO NOT OPEN the email, just delete it. Then when you're ready, block the email address.

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ConfusedInOC
Originally posted by alphamale

COC, did u talk with those gurls at the gym? I will not give u kudos for deleting a dumb email but if you've talk with the girls at the gym then I will. :laugh:

 

No because instead of going to the gym last night I went to the Improv to see Mark Curry. My friends wanted to get me out. So tonight I'll be going to the gym to make up for last night. If she's there, I'll ask her for coffee.

 

Whichway, I do like reading the messages because I can start to see some frustration and her attitude changing. Not that it will change me, and to some degree I am ashamed of myself for enjoying watching her squirm, but as crappy as she treated me, it's good to see she's learning that you can't take people for granted.

 

Today is her birthday.

 

She will receive no message from me.

She will receive no gift from me.

Even her friends are not emailing her a happy message because she only emails them when it's "convenient" for her.

 

And she wonders why she has no friends and no life....

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JulieBoolie

EXERCISE CAUTION - Don't let her back in. Keep up the no contact.

 

I ran back to my ex when he came back and it just prolonged the recovery stage. The ball is in your court - keep it there!!!!!

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ConfusedInOC
Originally posted by JulieBoolie

EXERCISE CAUTION - Don't let her back in. Keep up the no contact.

 

I ran back to my ex when he came back and it just prolonged the recovery stage. The ball is in your court - keep it there!!!!!

 

Oh I know. I've been studying the no contact guides (the ones in my siggy file). The thing is, she'd have to turn over a new leaf before I would even consider that and I don't think she's capable of being unselfish and grateful for me.

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COC, I'm so happy for you! hehe Make her squirm for all who got dumped :)

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ConfusedInOC
Originally posted by dgiirl

COC, I'm so happy for you! hehe Make her squirm for all who got dumped :)

 

As a Christian, I feel extremely guilty for it but part of me is hoping she learns a lesson.

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Seems like it's gonna be a tough pill for her to swallow, but f*&% her! I say make her beg, and then refuse her any scraps.

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greenhorn
Originally posted by dgiirl

COC, I'm so happy for you! hehe Make her squirm for all who got dumped :)

 

Yes for the sake of the fraternity.

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Confused - I've read your posts and you've come a long way - congratulations to finally feel superior!!!! You deserve better and she's out there - don't waste anymore time on the ex - make her grovel at your feet.

 

Eventually you'll get to the point where you just won't care anymore and then look back and think "what was I thinking?".

 

Look at all the time we waste trying to get over our ex's. This website has been a lifesaver for me that's for sure. Misery loves company - it's great to be able to have support from others going thru the same crap.

 

I'll be on here quite a bit now that I think my relationship is officially over. I'm trying to put closure to the whole mess but I'm sure I'll need more detox so if you see me on here having a pity party - please, throw me a life preserver every now and then.

 

I hope to one day be in your shoes and feel the power of being able to ignore my ex!

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ConfusedInOC

Thanks. It's been tough. I think the biggest thing was getting rid of all her reminders. Once I made my mind up to do that, things started getting easier. When you have a constant reminder, it hampers the recovery effort.

 

I still think about her every morning, but less and less so. This morning I thought a lot about her due to it being her birthday today AND the fact she emailed me last night.

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Funny she emailed you right before her birthday - think she was hoping for a gift? You've done extremely well and I'm going to do what you said and get rid of all the reminders (cards, photos, etc.). I have deleted him from my cell phone and put away all the jewelry he gave me. Hitting delete felt good. Now I wish I could just hook up my brain and have someone go in and delete him from my head!!!

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Deep down how will you feel when her e-mails stop.....I know you are not responding, its just I had this with my ex, he kept getting in contact with me...I didn't respond...I felt like I was in control of the situation by not replying and I started to feel better....Then his attempts faded out,to nothing, I felt I was starting the break up all over! Do not read her e-mails :)

 

Sounds like you've got it all under control though!

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ConfusedInOC
Originally posted by jp13370

Funny she emailed you right before her birthday - think she was hoping for a gift?

 

My guess?! She was "phishing" to remind me of her birthday. Not sure about the gift, but she mentioned her dad said I "dropped" his books off. She said "why didn't you tell me you were coming?!" Funny thing is, I mailed the books....

 

You've done extremely well and I'm going to do what you said and get rid of all the reminders (cards, photos, etc.). I have deleted him from my cell phone and put away all the jewelry he gave me. Hitting delete felt good. Now I wish I could just hook up my brain and have someone go in and delete him from my head!!!

 

It's hard. Extremely hard. Sticking to NC requires the utmost discipline. It's not for the weak of stomach. What's working for me is hanging out with my friends and diving into my music and hobbies as a way to keep her off my mind.

 

I also suggest going to comedy clubs. Didn't think of her once last night when I went to see Mark Curry live at the Improv. Had a great time!

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ConfusedInOC
Originally posted by Jess xx

Deep down how will you feel when her e-mails stop.....

 

By that time, I may not even notice ;)

 

I know you are not responding, its just I had this with my ex, he kept getting in contact with me...I didn't respond...I felt like I was in control of the situation by not replying and I started to feel better....Then his attempts faded out,to nothing, I felt I was starting the break up all over! Do not read her e-mails :)

 

She may do that. Unless she sends me an email saying "I've changed, I love you and I want you back" only then would I listen. But she'd have to PROVE she has changed, which I do think she is capable of doing and most certainly not in regards to me. She also plans to go overseas for 5 years of Vet school. I imagine the emails will stop well before then.

 

Sounds like you've got it all under control though!

 

As with any NC regimen, some days are good, some are not so good.

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KissMyTiara
Originally posted by ConfusedInOC

Got an email from the ex tonight and I exercised my new routine:

 

Read

Laugh

Delete

 

It feels good :)

 

 

You'll truly be successful in recovering from this relationship when you don't feel bad about the breakup, don't feel good about deleting her emails, but feel completely apathetic at the thought of her. Just "eh" - THAT's when you're really, really over someone.

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Maybe I'm doing ok! This breakup seems to be different - I feel more relieved than upset or sad. When we reconciled the last time I was a nervous wreck walking on eggshells and trying to be everything he wanted - while he treated me like crap - all because I was the one who broke no contact.

 

I'm still trying to figure that out. He got angry, screamed and yelled and lost his mind the last time we ended it and I had to go back for another round of torture????? What was wrong with that picture??

 

I realized quickly I made a huge mistake breaking no contact and felt things were not right at all - that it just couldn't work. So now that we had another fight and broke up - I'm actually feeling happy that I can return to being myself.

 

I'm relieved but I pray that I stay feeling this way and I don't get sucked back into that nightmare.

 

I'm relieved but exhausted emotionally. I've had enough torment and torture from this relationship to last a lifetime.

 

I actually welcome the peace and quiet now. Is this a good sign that maybe I'm fed up and ready for closure?

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ConfusedInOC
Originally posted by jp13370

Maybe I'm doing ok! This breakup seems to be different - I feel more relieved than upset or sad. When we reconciled the last time I was a nervous wreck walking on eggshells and trying to be everything he wanted - while he treated me like crap - all because I was the one who broke no contact.

 

Same here. The harder you try, the sooner (and harder) you will fall. What I have learned is I have to be me and if she can't accept who I am, she's not right for me.

 

I'm still trying to figure that out. He got angry, screamed and yelled and lost his mind the last time we ended it and I had to go back for another round of torture????? What was wrong with that picture??

 

Love makes us doing strange things. I know when I look back at the things I forgave her for and how I treated her like a Princess, I had to ask myself "Son, where were your cohonies?!" My friends would answer "In her purse..."

 

I realized quickly I made a huge mistake breaking no contact and felt things were not right at all - that it just couldn't work. So now that we had another fight and broke up - I'm actually feeling happy that I can return to being myself.

 

I agree. This time I feel like the monkey is off my back and I can just go back to being me. I'm not a bad guy, I am decent looking and have a lot going for me. Someone out there who I am attracted to is out there has to see that. And if not, so be it.....

 

I'm relieved but I pray that I stay feeling this way and I don't get sucked back into that nightmare.

 

I'm relieved but exhausted emotionally. I've had enough torment and torture from this relationship to last a lifetime.

 

I actually welcome the peace and quiet now. Is this a good sign that maybe I'm fed up and ready for closure?

 

I'd say so. Stick with NC. Just remember:

 

Screw me once, shame on you.

Screw me twice, SHAME ON ME!

 

You gave it all you could and it didn't work out. So did I. I am not going to hang my head in shame or feel self pity for it ending. Instead, I feel satisfied I gave it my best shot. It doesn't always work and in my case, I really was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It just wasn't working. It could have been numerous things....it just could have come down to bad timing.

 

Either way, lesson learned. There's a Princess out there for me somewhere. Until then, I'm content to ride my white horse into the night....

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alphamale
Originally posted by ConfusedInOC

I'd say so. Stick with NC. Just remember:

 

ahh yes, NC. My dear NC. When executed correctly (which most of the time it is not) it is a proverbial work of art.

 

It's....it's a Rembrandt. It is Beethoven. It is pure and utter beauty.

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