FastHands Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 (edited) One of my family members passed (furry friend) another one seems sick or begining. I realized how death is so close. Only thing now is many are at risk all at once. My parents are older and I'm also scared for them. Another family member is having heart problems and has come very close to leaving. He is still not in the clear but his quality of life has been really cut. I want to go back to my younger years where everything was good and I had no major worries. I'm shocked and devastated at how death is everywhere. I think everything was well for a good time and all the sudden its going downhill. I'm in despair, shock and pain and it seems I'm In the part of my life where I am going to cry rivers. Edited January 21, 2017 by FastHands Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 It's tough as we get older and are exposed to stuff that maybe our parents shielded us from or we were too young to worry about death and bad things happening. Sometimes I wish I was a kid too, life was just so easy and carefree! worst thing ever was being called inside when the street lights came on and you didn't wanna go home. Sorry for your loss, losing a loved one (including a furry one) hurts like heck. Try not to focus on the negatives. Easier said than done but really try to stay positive and feel blessed that you still have both parents and enjoy/embrace what time you do spend with them. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 You just have to let go. Death is inevitable for everything and everybody. Once you accept that inescapable fact, life gets a lot easier. Peace, my friend. Peace. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FastHands Posted January 21, 2017 Author Share Posted January 21, 2017 I agree, but the deaths/close deaths are happening all at once. In the past it was 1 in 10 yrs? Now it has a potential to be a multi events all at once or very close together. I was thinking death was following or doing things like the final dest movie. It sounds crazy but that's how I feel about it-it's that bad and has me worried. I noticed that about the last months of 2016 to today it has been bad- which is really frightening. Link to post Share on other sites
carnelian Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 I think I know how you feel. 2015 was the worst year of my life because of my mother's passing at a very old age and 2 very loved cats, loved like my own children and family! I felt I would never ever recover. Horrible! I won't say that time heals wounds, because it won't probably, but time will distance you emotionally from it. Death of a parent makes some wonder about their own mortality-- very sad. I think about it every day. I found some solace from a griefhealing discussion forum. I don't know if I can post the site here or not. You will live through it of course, but you will look at life a little differently, not through rose colored glasses. Love can turn into pain in a minute. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FastHands Posted January 21, 2017 Author Share Posted January 21, 2017 thank you to everyone who responded and I really appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Like you, I have been shielded from death from a young age and didn't lose anyone close to me up until recently. My parents are both in their 80s and are resigned to the fact that they'll most likely be gone within 10 years. They are OK with that. In time it comes to everyone, even you and me. No-one is immune. We will be dead one day. Let's get out there and make the most of our lives while we still have one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FastHands Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 (edited) It's been almost a week. My muscles have been aching since I've stopped working out. Now I'm paranoid about the water and how safe it is. I'm natural and consume more than reg person protein, and now I'm thinking I'm going to be very sick down the line. Everything is a big mess and no solution but to submit, which is an injustice that I can't accept; but must. Weird thing I can see him on the floor and steps. It saddens me and makes me laugh at the same time because he was so cute. I loved him so much. On a positive note I've done my calves and serratus. I think tomorrow I'll do some more but not much as I'm still grieving. Edited January 24, 2017 by FastHands Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Grieving is good. Many of us have been through it, the same many have come out the other side. It the process of healing. Change your mind, change your thoughts, dwell on the past only fuels what is ahead. Always forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FastHands Posted February 2, 2017 Author Share Posted February 2, 2017 After about 2 weeks, I do feel better. On occasion I have the memories of seeing him and touching him, but I have a big disconnect that it's no point. Last night I had a dream on my sis' dog that passes on several years ago. In my dream he was so happy and lively. I even saw my sis petting him. My other cat seems like she isn't doing well and I'm hoping she isn't ill. I can't go through this again Again, thanks to everyone that responded. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 OP, in general I experienced some of what you share; IMO the 'everywhere' part comes from aspects of the information age and reaching nearly every point on the globe, compared to when I was young it was reading the obits on Sunday and catching a rare newscast like when Kennedy was assassinated or the Apollo 1 guys burnt up and stuff like that. Something else too, life was more dangerous in the old days. When I was a kid mom's arm was my seat belt and, when I was 8, a good friend and classmate shot himself to death with his hunting rifle accidentally, as one example of the dangers. We had plenty more and I escaped death more than once purely by luck, hence got used to the prospect being there. Maybe that doesn't happen anymore, IDK. Enjoy your folks while they're alive. Even if it's annoying sometimes I recall my mom being most sad when she got into her 70's and was still healthy and lamented all her friends dying off; she collected all the obits and that was part of our cleanup after she was gone. Obit clippings and phone numbers. Interesting how life works. Now my turn is coming as my friends are increasingly aged and ill. I'm lucky, so far, I've been healthy but that could change tomorrow. Enjoy the now. Death will find us soon enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 After about 2 weeks, I do feel better. On occasion I have the memories of seeing him and touching him, but I have a big disconnect that it's no point. Last night I had a dream on my sis' dog that passes on several years ago. In my dream he was so happy and lively. I even saw my sis petting him. My other cat seems like she isn't doing well and I'm hoping she isn't ill. I can't go through this again Again, thanks to everyone that responded. Your other cat is grieving too. This will help: Buy a stuffed animal with a pocket or a puppet stuffed animal and get a ticking alarm clock. Place it on your bed and the cat will snuggle up to it. I did this when one of my cats passed away years ago and my other cat loved it. I think it was comforting. The pain of losing a cat or a dog is awful, the tears can just come pouring out at random times (happened to me when waiting for a coffee in public, burst into tears and someone asked if I was okay, so I told them what had just happened..It was amazing how kind strangers were, hugging me and sharing their painful stories of losing their beloved pets) so just be prepared but let it out. Having a pet is worth the pain... If you're worried take your cat to the vet to have a check up. PS Don't stress about the water! I'm sure all is okay with that and you're just reacting physically to what's been going on in your life. But if you're really concerned drink bottled water or have your water tested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Oh, sorry OP, missed the part about your pet. Yeah, that's tough. My condolences. IMO, if they've lived a long life and are loved, that's pretty cool. My last lost, about a year ago now, was about 16. Like my best friend says, you get attached to the darn critters Being older, I've lost a fair amount of animals and, yet, they've made for some great memories. Yeah, it's sad but there's also joy mixed in that well of sadness, for all the good times. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 We all die. I don't mind going. It's permanent sleep. No more bills, problems, relationship problems. It is what it is. Hopefully we all go to a better place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FastHands Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 (edited) Thing is I use to say the same thing, until I started going through it. Family member has cancer. Sisters side of the family- her uncle just died of cancer. Now another of my furry friends just went blind and is most possible she's on the way out too. Why do the people and creatures we love go away. I'm heartbroken. I don't know how I'm going to cope with the feeling of her going. Why is life so painful and unfair. Why can't it let us be happy? Ugh I'm so depressed, I might need antidepressants. Edited August 7, 2017 by FastHands Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 I think a lot of your feelings are happening because in modern society, death is no longer something we see on a regular basis. Go back in history up until the advent of antibiotics and modern surgery, death was a regular thing. Death of the young and the old was an everyday occurrence. People would die at home in their own beds. They'd be washed and cleaned by loved ones and their body visited by loved ones. That's not to say it's any less painful, but I think it wasn't as shocking. Compare that to modern days where death is a clinical thing where the loved ones are a step removed from the process. We are so afraid of death that we keep loved ones alive even when their body wants to finish up. Death is no longer a normal part of the circle of life and so it creates such a shock when it happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FastHands Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 I can agree with your words. I just can't bare with pain of letting go and missing them (a piece of my personal life). Link to post Share on other sites
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