TheLonelyCow Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I'm 20 years old I've experience my first love recently and after 2 months we decided to separate (by we I mean I was left with no other choice) not only was he 4 years younger than me but he was into guys as well (major screw up) he would always joke around about how I was the only girl he would date so once day I got drunk and totally asked him out surprisingly he said yes and after liking him one-sidedly for a year and 3 months I finally got the only one I ever wanted but that all came to an end 2 days ago... I wanted to see how he really felt, so I straight-out say "Let's break up" normally a guys response would be "Why?" right nope not him, he had to be original he responded "Are you sure?" dude of course I'm not sure but let's say I am.... Is this how all first loves end? How does one cope with this suffocating heart sinking feeling... Is there a way to deal with this? For a 20 year old its pretty Ironic for a 20 year old who's use to date whenever someone asked her out? SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
howell Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Think of other important things to do and focus on it. In other word, make yourself busy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 How to deal with it? Answers are simple: allow time to pass; keep yourself distracted with activities; eat healthy food; spend time in the company from family and friends; start seeing other people; cut all contact with this person; etc. etc. etc. The thing is, YOU have go through with a stage of mourning phase YOURSELF. No one else can do it for you; no else can give you a short cut. The only thing, for what it's worth is, it's part of the normal grieving process. Kind of like a cut--you can't avoid the bleeding part, before the clotting part; and the clotting is a necessary step in closing the wound. You are right now at bleeding stage--allow it to happen. Acknowledge it. Don't try to fix it or cover it up. BUT you will heal in time. But on a separate note: what if he said something other than "are you sure" when you suggested breaking up? How long do you think this "relationship" would have lasted? Three months? One year? Then what? You said yourself, he's into other men. The longer you two would have stayed together, the deeper your feelings would have been and therefore, the deeper the pain would have been when he eventually ended things. I am sorry for the pain you are feeling. We can't help who we fall in love with. Many times it's the wrong person. He is wrong for you. Your pain is real nonetheless. So, I hope, in time, you can recognize that: He would have caused more down the road; he never would have been in love with you the way you are with him. This break up in a way has saved you from a dead end road with disappointment and unreturned love. Give it time. I wish you the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts