How do I avoid the girl at work who broke my heart?

[elchupanibre]

Late last year I asked out a colleague who I was good friends with, and she rejected me.

 

Things have been fine since then between the both of us and we've pretty much gone back to how it was, but now I want to try to avoid her as looking at her or being around her causes me to feel quite ****ty.

 

To make things worse, she sits close to a male coworker - who is also a friend of mine - and seems to get along really well with him. She seems to get on with him much better than she does with me. And that rapport she has with him makes me jealous at times.

 

But it's tough to avoid them as they come to my desk from time to time and try and talk to me and so on.

 

So I'd want to know how do I go about building distance between me and her? The other guy makes things tough. Any advice as to what I should do from here?

[5x5]

I'm sorry you poisoned the well, but that's the risk one takes when they put themselves out there with a work colleague.

 

The thing is she's not doing anything wrong, she owes you nothing and would have done you a disservice if she didn't reject you, when she isn't attracted to you. By the same token she again is doing nothing wrong by having rapport with someone else or even being attracted to other work colleagues.

 

So your jealousy is misplaced and inappropriate as well, she simply isn't interested, isn't obliged to be interested and hasn't had a relationship with you. Plus she isn't your property either.

 

As to what you should do, you should get over yourself and remember she and he owe you absolutely nothing and you ought to let go of your ridiculous jealousy. Alternatively if you can't manage that perhaps you ought to get another job.

Edited January 13, 2017 by 5x5

[Mr Scorpio]

So I'd want to know how do I go about building distance between me and her? The other guy makes things tough. Any advice as to what I should do from here?

 

Avoiding problems is now way to go through life. You should face this storm head on. Acknowledge the reality of the situation, look at the big picture (food in stomach, roof over head, job), and move on. That isn't to be insensitive to your plight (I've had a similar situation myself). But deliberate avoidance that requires planning? Too extreme. That gives too much power to the situation.