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Finally going through with NC...


lexytheblasian

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lexytheblasian

Hi all,

 

I'm just posting on here because I almost texted the person I'm going NC on. It's so hard. I've only been in NC for less than a week.

 

I created a fake IG account and added him for no reason other than the fact that he's no longer on my other social media accounts. So I guess one could say I'm not truly doing NC but I don't know how to stop. I also created a fake phone number just to hear his voice. I know, this is ridiculous.

 

I've posted on this website before, last saw him a few weeks after that post. I was on day 9 of NC at that point in time, was FINALLY starting to feel better when BAM. He contacts me, inviting me over to his place for the weekend. He seemed pretty excited and was very affectionate once I arrived. It was wonderful.

 

I met his son and spent time with his family. I went to church with his family, had a long talk with his mom about his depression, how he often shuts her out, ect. Mind you his recent divorce has taken its toll on him in every way imaginable. He's pretty unhappy, told me nothing fulfulls him, ect. Before I left he held me close and apologized for his situation, which was silly. I told him she divorced him, not the other way around.

 

Anyway, I leave on cloud 9 and for a few days following that visit he contacted me frequently. Of course, everything changed and yet again I spiraled out of control, accusing him of being with other women. I told him I think I loved him, too. This guy and me never even officially DATED.

 

Fast-forward and here I am, going NC (not fully, I know) AGAIN. I'm not sure what hurts more: him turning cold and not contacting me at all anymore or the overwhelming feeling of rejection I feel because of it.

 

He fed me the classic breadcrumb and I fell for it; hook, line and sinker.

 

I'm not sure why I'm so obsessed with this guy. He's over me and I keep telling myself there is no future but I can't stop myself from thinking about him, stalking his social media, ect.

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You need a friend or wingwoman to turn to for support when you feel like stalking or breaking NC. (Or alternatively there is a sticky thread on here for help w not breaking NC, kinda like a hotline.)

 

btw your name reads like "Lexy the Lesbian." Which would be a really awesome-sounding name if it were so. ;)

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