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Do you cope by deleting/throwing away everything?


Heart..PLS STAHP

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Heart..PLS STAHP

Hey guys I have a question...

 

I think about asking you this for a long time. Have you deleted or thrown away everything you have from your ex? I mean like pictures, gifts, other stuff that you shared together?

 

For some this is a way to cope and I personally found it to help. I deleted many pictures from my computer also thrown away every present I ever got. The only thing that remains is a present she gave my dad on his 50th year anniversary and some pictures I locked away on social media...

Today is not a good day for me because I was doing fine up until now but I found myself crying since morning and I just fee betrayed... almost to the point of deleting and throwing away absolutely everything so only the memory remains.

 

I want to hear your opinions prior making a choice if I should do that or not. Please share.

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Heart,

This is a personal choice and no-one can tell you what you should do.

 

For me it was the best way.

 

The day after DD my wedding dress, the wedding album and wedding photographs were in the bin.

 

The bedding that he's slept on with his AP was all bagged up for him to take to her along with my wedding ring (and box)

 

All the presents he'd given me during the time of his affair were in the local charity shop. My engagement ring had been sold.

 

At 3.00.pm that afternoon I was at the solicitors instigating a divorce.

 

When I make a clean sweep I'm ruthless - but that's me.

 

You have to do what's right for you.

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You don't have to delete/throw away everything, but you do need to distance yourself from the memories and those triggers that cause them. Just hide them away or move them to another folder on your computer. There's plenty of options, you just do what feels right for you. I have done both in the past - only once the wounds have healed have I been able to look at ex pictures as by then they have no affect on me - just some cute girl I once dated. Until you get to that point though, you do whatever it takes to keep you on the road to healing.

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I took quite a lot of satisfaction in bagging up everything that had any relation to her and leaving it outside her place.

 

Yeah, she was hurt and upset but after being betrayed I really couldn't care less.

 

Do what you feel you have to.

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I don't think there are rules for these things. Most people will tell you to stuff everything in a box and lock it away until you're ready to look at it again. But I wonder, "why should I want to to look at it again when I'm ready?". Ready means I no longer care. Perhaps it's too cold a perspective, but as soon as I realize that there's no going back and the relationship is over, I throw everything away, usually not in one go. It's liberating for me. Even when I'm over a relationship, certain songs, places, etc, make me feel weird for quite a long time. Keeping physical memories at home wouldn't help.

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Hi friend,

 

Yes sure, IT DOES HELP. In my case it helped me a lot. It's a very practical way of leaving your past behind.

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Heart..PLS STAHP

Thanks for that guys! I think I'll really delete everything. I haven't absolutely decided on that yet I mean I want to do it but I'm just not ready yet... it is like a part of me wants to hold on. Maybe later in life I will delete perhaps when another year passes or I find a new love. I thought I will be ready when I hear all your opinions but as soon as I look at the pictures my heart becomes so warm I can't make myself do it. At the same time I feel sadness so I can't bear looking at those pictures for long. Yes... let's leave it at least for half an year and I'll get back to those then. If they become unhealthy for me I'll delete them sooner.

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It took me a while to get there, but in the end I destroyed everything.

 

The last thing to go was a seashell picked up on a beach, which was lying in a box full of oddments.

 

I also made a vow to myself that I would never say that person's name ever again, and I never have.

 

 

Take care.

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Baileylovesloki

toss it all out in my opinion, delete everything, we need to reduce the thoughts of our ex's in order to heal, I found that looking at anything charges the pain, even if one of my freinds tells me something it sets me back.

Reduce the contact, reduce the thoughts, try and focus on yourself ...

This is what I did and I felt like a rock star today. I'm feeling good more often than I feel like poo... I beleive it was no contact that helped me get here... Strict no contact. No pics. No Facebook no Twitter. The times I did look started the cycle of pain and thoughts all over again.

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Heart..PLS STAHP

Yes I'll follow your advises. Can't say I'll never say her name ever again but maybe that day will come too who knows. One day I hope I find a person and my exes love that's gone do not affect the love I want to give my new girlfriend.

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"Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements". Baz Lurhman, Sunscreen. There's a lot of good points made in that song and this is one of them.

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I have placed obvious things out of sight, but I still have cards (I love cards and he just used to send me random ones no occasion, just because he thought I would like them.) They are in a drawer and of course so many photos on my phone. I love taking pictures (not many selfies) of scenery when we went on hikes, or went around a new place, it was like a timeline of our relationship really. It's only day 2 of moving on, not sure how I will feel deleting everything. I think I will transfer all the photos to a USB, delete all messages, and box the cards. When I feel a bit stronger they will be gone.

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