Jump to content

How do you Define "getting over it"


TheLoveBelow92

Recommended Posts

TheLoveBelow92

Ive been single over a year I was dumped July of last year by my ex who I lived with and since then I found the 3rd and 4th month the hardest and easier ever since but some things that havent changed is.

 

1. I still think about her everyday for the most part which seems constant.

2. I never got over her or so I think, I Just got used to her not being around not seeing her and not texting her but instead thinking of the past constantly.

3. we had a lot of mutual friends and I lost a lot of others through constantly moaning and actually turning into a D**k and became very bitter about life.

 

She was my first serious relationship I was blindsided when it happened, took a lot of coming to terms. mutual friends tippy toe around us. have dated but never cared about any of them either. As time went by she seemed to be more pissed of at me for the breakup because It was all my fault.

 

I used to be named "Lucky" because what I didnt see it at the time and never believed in it but she was out of my league... this is what ive found from dating since using POF and Tinder...

 

13 months is a long long time and I like To think I have changed and she has also. but when we are out with mutual friends and I see her, I still see the Girl I dated, Although I try not to listen to her talking about this new guy or that new guy to friends and how actually well she has been doing since. she doesnt do it in a rub it in your face sense but in a catching up sense which makes it hurt a little more..

I look at her like she never left and all i see back is a blank face with no interest.

 

I envy people who get over these things quickly and come out the otherside better. I have a long way to go

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes
Ive been single over a year I was dumped July of last year by my ex who I lived with and since then I found the 3rd and 4th month the hardest and easier ever since but some things that havent changed is.

 

1. I still think about her everyday for the most part which seems constant.

2. I never got over her or so I think, I Just got used to her not being around not seeing her and not texting her but instead thinking of the past constantly.

3. we had a lot of mutual friends and I lost a lot of others through constantly moaning and actually turning into a D**k and became very bitter about life.

 

She was my first serious relationship I was blindsided when it happened, took a lot of coming to terms. mutual friends tippy toe around us. have dated but never cared about any of them either. As time went by she seemed to be more pissed of at me for the breakup because It was all my fault.

 

I used to be named "Lucky" because what I didnt see it at the time and never believed in it but she was out of my league... this is what ive found from dating since using POF and Tinder...

 

13 months is a long long time and I like To think I have changed and she has also. but when we are out with mutual friends and I see her, I still see the Girl I dated, Although I try not to listen to her talking about this new guy or that new guy to friends and how actually well she has been doing since. she doesnt do it in a rub it in your face sense but in a catching up sense which makes it hurt a little more..

I look at her like she never left and all i see back is a blank face with no interest.

 

I envy people who get over these things quickly and come out the otherside better. I have a long way to go

 

It's a lot like fishing, when you feel your rod bend and you get a big hit,

But you pulled too much, the line broke, so move on to another fish!

Link to post
Share on other sites

It takes time man. we all recover differently. some of us feel more, are more sensative, etc.

 

when you finally start to get sick and tired of talking about her, feel exhausted even thinking of her and really have nothing left, thats when you are this much closer to being 100%.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a month post BU as of today and I've been feeling much better last week and this week. 2 days ago, I finally blocked my ex from social media, as that was the last step after previously removing his existence from everything else. I've finally "have had it" feeling the way that I do. I can't say it's easy. Dreams are still hard, as well as hearing his name. I however don't have that intense lump in my throat anymore when talking about the break up, and I've spent SO much time reflecting on the relationship on both ends that I've gained some perspective and clarity which has helped me begin to move on without any kind of closure. I've been spending lots of time outdoors too. What's helped me was analyzing my previous relationship and changing my thoughts which is still in works. I'm not 100% but I'm much further than I was a month ago.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

It really depends on how much feelings were invested in the relationship I suppose.

 

Took me about 1.5 years to finally bounce back. It took him less than a week.

 

I knew I had moved on when I could finally make decisions that would benefit myself - treating myself to nice food, going to the spa, get some new clothes, travel, etc. Before that I was laying in bed all day, crying, wanting to text him all the time.

 

I was the dumpee by the way.

 

One thing about mutual friends, I suggest to cut them off for now. If circumstances make it necessary for you to still speak with them, I'd minimise communication. Mutual friends can actually be obstacles when it comes to trying to heal. I cut my mutual friends off and it sped up my healing process by a great deal.

Link to post
Share on other sites

We've been split since last July and I'm still not over her. I'll have a good day where I can keep thoughts of her at bay, but then the next day the memories and my obsessive thoughts take over.

 

I've been

 

Eating better

Exercising

Spending more time with friends

Dating other women

Made new hobbies/joined meet ups

 

But nothing has helped. It's just so hard knowing she's having the time of her life with her new guy and I can't even fully enjoy life right now

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think there are different stages of "getting over it."

 

The first is moving away from that feeling like life is over or like someone has died. You're still thinking about them a lot, but you're functioning pretty well and at least trying to build your post-relationship life.

 

The next is when you're not only dating new people, but feeling like you want to be dating other people. Some force the dating thing too soon, which can lead to feeling even worse or temporarily numbing your pain before it resurfaces, leading to possibly hurting someone else. There's something invigorating about that first post-relationship crush. You really start to feel like there's life after your ex and, for the first time, you can envision a romantic relationship with a specific person.

 

The final stage is the best: Indifference. We don't all get there the same way, but it is a liberating day indeed when you hear about your ex dating someone new or maybe even see them together and... you not only aren't hurt/angry. You sincerely feel nothing, as if you just saw a random couple who you've never seen before and may never see again.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...