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! Cheating partner


Chattyman

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I have been with my wife 10 years, married for 2 years. We have just had our first child together a few weeks ago.

 

A few weeks before the birth I found out she had this affair with someone she used to work with 4 years ago and before we were engaged. I had a suspicion something was going on at the time but when I confronted her she denied it.

The reason why she told me was that she accidently left her work emails on and for some reason I decided to search for this guys name. An email between them popped up from the time which confirmed my suspicions.

 

When I confronted her she told me they hooked up on 2 occasions in a hotel. She admitted the length of time it went on for (4 months). The reason why she did it was because she had doubts about our relationship at the time. We were living together at the time but it ended when we bought a house together.

 

Before this all came out, we were very happy together and barely never argued. I do want to work at this and get it back to normal. I want to be the best dad.

She has opened up to me saying how sorry she is, how guilty and dirty she feels. I can tell she is in a lot of pain. Part of me wishes I never found out, but I'm glad I did.

 

I really want things to return to normal and for us to have a happy family. I can't stop thinking of them together. I am determined and really want to make this work for our baby's sake. I'm not talking about rug sweeping, I just need to find a way to forgive, I'm unsure of a way to do that.

 

How can I move on?

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You should ask to have this moved to the infidelity section. There are a lot of betrayed spouses on that board who can help you out and you will likely get more replys on that board too.

 

Having doubts about your relationship is hardly a good reason to cheat. Everyone faces doubts sometimes. That's a totally lame excuse for cheating and your partner needs to dig deeper and come up with a better reason than that. Don't let her rugsweep. If you and she don't get to the bottom of this now then you are setting yourself up for being cheated on again.

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LastAcorn99

I’m so sorry to hear this. I know that a situation like this is extremely painful, and it takes a long time to come to terms with such a revelation. I commend your commitment to your marriage and to your role as a parent. As you and your wife work towards putting this matter in the past and move on, I pray that God will help your family to find strength in Him in the coming days. Also, i would suggest that you and your wife seek the help of a professional marriage counselor to walk you through this difficult time. If you need referrals, I’d be happy to help. God bless you!

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Welcome to your new normal. As the BS, you will never gat a satisfactory answer to "why?" and you will question your own sanity for years to come. I get the sense she seems truly remorseful and that's a really good start. The fact you guys are together now, creating a family, and the affair is out in the open is a good thing - use it to build a solid foundation. And, be on guard - if you felt suspicious before and start feeling that way again, vigilance is your friend.

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